Grown up Stuff

Madison turned in along a dirt road off the interstate, skidding on the lose surface. As she motored towards the old barn, she saw Chris’ car and her stomach tightened. Propelled by the adrenaline rush to drive right up to the decrepit abandoned building, parked in a whirl of dust and exited the Camry without bothering to kill the engine or shut the door.

Running through the barn door, she was confronted immediately by the sight of Chris sitting and talking to Ruth and Abigail. He held a partly concealed gun by his side. His voice was soft, there was some laughter. It seemed a chill situation. Madison arrived in a huff, breathless and rattled.

‘Thanks for coming,’ said Chris.

‘You didn’t leave me any choice,’ said Madison. ‘I said I would meet you without the girls.’

Chris laughed, mocking her. ‘And I told you that I make the rules.’

‘You want to hash this out in front of the children, do you? You want them to hear everything. To know everything. Is that what you want?’ Had Madison not been so high on the excitement and terror of the situation, she would have been blown away by her bravery. She’d never stood up to Chris like this before. She’d felt like it on many occasions but had never found the courage. She was pleased to see doubt on Chris’ face.

‘Ruth,’ said Chris, ‘Abigail. Go outside for a bit please. Mum and I need to talk up grown up stuff.’

Both of her daughters looked at Madison for reassurance, so she forced a smile. ‘It’s okay. Stay near the cars, okay?’

They watched their daughters walk away, waiting until they had left the barn.

‘Thanks,’ said Madison.

‘I don’t know why I’m so patient with you. I should just-‘

‘Just what? Swear at me? Hit me? Would that make you feel better?’

‘Where’d you get such cheek, baby?’

‘I’m not your baby, ‘said Madison firmly, her eyes boring into his. ‘We are finished. This talk is not about us getting back together, especially not seeing you brought a gun.’

Chris lifted the weapon casually, studied it as though he wasn’t sure what it was.

‘Why’d you bring it?’

‘Insurance.’

Madison shifted her stance, slowly, concentrating on her balance. ‘You’re going to go back to Chicago and leave us alone. In the school vacation, we’ll come visit you.’

Chris lurched forward, waving the gun, glaring at her. ‘I told you I make the rules.’

Moving carefully backwards, away from Chris, Madison said nothing. He appeared to regret the aggression, immediately stepping back and lowering the gun.

‘Who was the hero at the church?’

‘A friend.’

Chris smiled. ‘You moved on fast. Too fast. You belong with me, so stop all this nonsense and come back with me. Okay?’

‘Are you thick?’ said Madison. ‘I told you we’re done. I’m not going anywhere with you. Neither are my daughters.’

‘Your daughters?’ Chris was moving around again, agitated. ‘They’re my daughters too!’

‘Keep your voice down.’

‘Why are you trying to upset me? What did I ever do to deserve this?’

‘You have mental problems,’ said Chris. ‘You’re a whackjob.’

‘Don’t call me that.’

The blow came so quickly Madison didn’t even see it. She crashed to the ground, her head spinning, her jaw aching, pounding. As soon as she could she scrambled to her feet. Chris was in her face, the muzzle of his pistol was against her ribs.

‘Let’s go,’ he said, pushing her towards the barn door.

‘Not happening,’ said Madison. When he gripped her arm tighter, she stomped down on his foot and wrenched herself free. She attempted to run.

‘Stop. Stop now or-‘

‘Or what?’ said Adam, with such power it sounded frightening to Madison, and comforting at the same time. ‘You’ll shoot her? Shoot me?’

‘Good idea hero,’ said Chris before firing a bullet into Adam’s stomach.

Madison rushed past Adam who had crumpled to the ground, folded in half as a red stain exploded across his shirt front. Seizing the chance, she noticed Chris seemed shocked. Perhaps he hadn’t meant to hit him in the gut, or maybe he only intended to fire a waring shot. She pounced on him, knocking him down, and wrestling the gun from his hand. She stood above him, pointing the weapon at his chest. In the blink of an eye, Chris sprung from the ground and leapt at her. She’d never held a gun before let alone fired one, but those pulled the trigger. The recoil sent her flying backwards. She heard Chris yelp in pain.

She hurried back to Adam, pulling her phone out of her pocket. ‘Adam? No. Hold on. Please.’

‘Ambulance to the abandoned barn on the right off the I-25 before West Fairview. Two men have been shot. Yes. Police too.’

Madison looked up to see Ruth and Abigail standing in the doorway of the barn, stunned and speechless. ‘Adam. Hold on.’

‘Sure,’ he said. ‘I’ll be fine. I heard another shot. Are you okay?’

‘I shot Chris.‘ She looked back at him. ‘Got him in the shoulder.’

‘Better keep an eye on him.’

‘Mummy,’ said Abigail in the smallest of little girl voices. ‘Mummy.’

Madison moved quickly, sweeping her daughters into her arms. ‘It’ll be okay. Everything will be okay.’

Paramedics were first on the scene, finding Madison huddled beside Adam who lay on his side, his face drained of color as blood drained from his body. Ruth and Abigail were behind Madison, pressed into her back, clinging tightly to each other. When the paramedics moved Madison aside, she took the girls out of the barn, continuing to comfort them as best she could. Ruth kept asking what had happened.

‘Daddy and Adam got hurt,’ she stated matter-of-factly.

After completing her 911 call, Madison had called Helen, who said she would be there as soon as possible.

Madison watched as the paramedics worked: one with Adam, the other with Chris, who was sitting up, holding a compression bandage against the wound in his shoulder. He stared at Madison, but she couldn’t decipher his expression; some mixture of shock and anger, she supposed. She looked back at Adam, noted his sharp shallow breaths, heard him moan. She was beyond tears now. Exhausted and overwhelmed, unable to comprehend what had happened. What she had done. She shot Chris, but she didn’t feel sorry. In fact, there was a whisper of regret in her mind that she hadn’t been a better shot. Mostly she feared for Adam, whose injury was much more serious.

As the paramedics positioned Adam on a gurney, his soft moaning exploded into an agonized groan. Madison looked away, closed her eyes. Fear and love made him turn back. They lifted the gurney and carried Adam to the ambulance, loading him into the back. One of the paramedics returned to the barn, emerging soon after, walking beside Chris. He must have been given some pain relief because his expression had changed. The shock replaced by wrath. ‘What did you do, baby?’ he said. ‘Look what you did?’ Madison ignored him. As second ambulance arrived, and Chris was escorted to it.

Helen arrived, and rushed from her car to Madison, pulling her to her feet and embracing her with reassuring strength. ‘Oh sweetie,’ she said.

Ruth and Abigail joined the hug, wrapping themselves around Madison’s legs. ‘Thanks for coming,’ said Madison softly.

Madison broke away and walked to the back of the ambulance, climbing in beside Adam with the permission of the attending paramedic. She took hold of his hand. ‘Adam,’ she breathed. ‘Adam?’ Then to the paramedic she said, ‘Why isn’t he answering me? Is I going to be alright?’

The paramedic gave a grim approximation of a smile. ‘We need to get going?’

Madison called to Helen. ‘Please take the girls to the hospital.’

A police officer appeared at the back of the ambulance just as the paramedic was closing the door. ‘Not now,’ said the paramedic.

The door closed, the ambulance took off, siren wailing heading for the hospital.

‘Adam,’ said Madison, squeezing her words out between great sobbing sighs. ‘I’m so sorry. Please hold on. Please Adam. I love you.’

***

The Emergency Department at Platte County Memorial Hospital was quiet when they arrived apart from the urgent conversation between the doctors and nurses who swarmed around Adam. Madison was left out of this, gently asked to wait, to let them do their job. Soon after Adam disappeared, wheeled away inside a scrum of medicos, Chris arrived. Walking initially, he was soon seated in a wheelchair, and pushed through the same doors through which Adam had been taken. Madison noticed two police officers close by him. One of the officers went through the doors, while the other turned back to approach Madison.

A slim, almost petite female, the officer sat beside Madison without saying a word. Madison looked at her, expectantly.

‘Are you okay?’ asked the officer.

Madison shook her head, heard the front doors of the ED slide open with a whoosh, and looked up to see Helen, Ruth and Abigail.

‘Do you think your questions could wait Sam?’ said Helen. ‘The girl’s been through hell. She’s in shock.’

‘I understand, Helen,’ said Sam. ‘But I’ve got a job to do.’

‘It’s okay,’ said Madison, thankful for Helen’s protectiveness; not at all surprised she knew the policewoman. It had become pretty clear that Helen knew just about everybody in Wheatland. ‘I can talk now. Better get it over and done with.

Helen took the girls away to the vending machine, to distract them with candy, and to spare them hearing the details of the horror they had witnessed. Madison watched them go, wondering how they would get over such a thing. She blamed herself now. She’d handled the split from Chris badly, and the confrontation with him at the barn, even worse. Now Adam might pay the ultimate price, and her beautiful innocent daughters would eb scarred for life.

Sam took notes as Madison backgrounded the event, then recounted it without embellishment. After offering best wishes to Madison and reminding her of her responsibility o not to leave town, Sam left her be and Helen returned.

Before Helen could take her seat, a doctor appeared from behind the double doors. He walked over to them, blank faced. He introduced himself, then delivered the bad news in the gentlest way possible. Helen and Madison fell into each other’s arms, weeping. Madison felt Helen’s legs give way, so held her tight, helping her to a nearby chair.

Madison stopped crying. Helen had lost her precious grandson, a boy whom she had loved, treasured and cared for most of his life, for longer than Madison had been alive. Madison loved Adam too but to compare her loss with Helen’s was insulting and unworthy. She swallowed hard, tightened her embrace of Helen. Ruth and Abigail joined in again, also crying, but Madison had to be strong now. She felt the call of duty; a loud insistent demand to suppress her own grief for now and be a rock for others. Much, if not all of this, was her fault, but this was no time for self-indulgent grief. She could beat herself up later. For now, she had to support Ruth and Abigail, and Helen too, who also deserved to know the truth.

Eventually Helen stopped crying. She pulled away from Madison, looking into her eyes. ‘How did this happen? What happened?’ She sniffed, covered her mouth and nose with her hand, closed her eyes. She opened them again, but Madison could barely stand to see the pain.

‘He was trying to protect me,’ said Madison. ‘It’s my fault.’

Helen considered for a moment, studying Madison to the point of making her feel uncomfortable. ‘That’s what he did,’ she said. ‘He was a lion. That’s why Jennifer’s death nearly killed him. I don’t think he ever really get over that, until he met you and then I saw signs.’

Madison tried to smile.

‘You’d better tell me the whole story now, sweetie,’ said Helen. ‘Help me make sense of it.’

Madison mostly looked at the floor as she did but forced herself to periodically meet Helen’s gaze out of respect for the woman who had become a mother to her.

‘I just couldn’t make myself tell you what was going on,’ said Madison. ‘I convinced myself I was doing the right thing, protecting you and Adam, and I didn’t want what we had to end.’

‘And you thought being honest and vulnerable with the man you loved would achieve that?’ said Helen. ‘Lying and being defensive in order to keep the peace?’

Madison shook her head.

‘Did you ever tell him you love him? Did he know that?’

Madison shook her head. I said it the ambulance on the way here, but I don’t know if he heard me or not.’

They stared across the ED for a few minutes, in silence, vaguely aware of the shadows, other suffering humans.

Madison used the time to work up courage. ‘There’s one more thing you should know, Helen.’

Helen turned slowly, curiosity lighting her face, despite her sorrow. ‘You mean there’s more?’

Although it was good news, the timing was awful. Madison wondered if she should make something up and save this big news for later. She’d done enough of that. Told enough lies, been too secretive, unnecessarily guarded. She cleared her throat.

‘I’m carrying Adam’s child.’