Growing Up These Days

People don't know this but I am more than what is said about me. I am more than my actions. I was young. I was free. My father always told me that choices is what makes life worth it. I was a curious child. I always wanted to know what is like to be like my parents. I didn't want to grow up fast but just understand life from their viewpoint. My earliest memory spending tea time with my father and mother. We were happy then life was good. I had control over how much tea and everyone said it was good. My mother would ask if we were finish when the telephone ring or the doorbell ring because she was eager to see who it was. My father would reassure me that I was the most important thing to him. I love it when it was my birthday because everyone would bring gifts and I would always tell my parents when I could talk and speak my mind, "Momma and Daddy I want to grow up and be like you. You're the best and I love you so much." My parents would hold back their tears and smile through my little speeches. That was my part in trying to keep the family together was to be a good child. I made some friends but I could not remember much. Well I remember we used to walk to school together and play on the school bus back. We spend afterschool together. My friend helped me when these bullies came to our playground. The bully made fun of us being little girls, she was probably mad that she wasn't cute anymore. I said something smart that my parents told me if anyone bullies me. And the bully was about to push me hard on the playground but my friend took the hit. My friend had to go to the hospital. I felt it was all my fault. I didn't want to go in because I felt guilty. I tried to explain but everybody wanted to blame me except my parents. That was the last time I saw my friend, my best friend and we moved to another neighborhood. I had to go to special needs classes to catch up on the new standard. My parents tried to reassured me that it was a better neighborhood and a better school and I cried, "But I missed my best friend and I missed my teachers and I missed the playground." They said, "Dia, we can't go back. It's not safe for you. You will make new friends. You will have new great teachers. You will see. Just give it a try please." I agreed and after struggling for years in the new school system with little recess. I came out on top, Mr. Rio, my fourth grade teacher asked me to do a spelling bee contest. I only held on to the last fourth round. In middle school, I was so excited about English and History because I wanted to learn more about everything. My mind was like a sponge. My English Teacher, Mrs. Potts said "You are as smart as me if you keep learning, if you keep reading you will be on top of everything. I am sure. You're a great student." I had so many friends, everyone knew the girl who understood English and History so well that she could recite the textbook. But what about high school? Mr. Rhodes, my History Teacher suggested I start high school early. I was shocked. I told my parents and they were surprised. My mother told me to stick to my books and be aware of the atmosphere of high school. I told her it would only be a year early at age 13. Waterdale High School was different. The guys were aggressive and the girls were too. Everybody was in the midst of puberty. I remember going to my locker and one of the most popular girls was liplock with her boyfriend. I also heard from a friend that the guys were watching me. I told her that I vowed to not have a boyfriend until everything I fought for came true. I started to notice in tenth grade my changes and so did the guys. The girls were getting more aggressive towards me. Just about the end of the year, my friend consulted me and she said, "Dia I'm pregnant. What am I gonna do? You're smart. You're young. And you're not easily tricked." I responded, "GIrl you got your own life ahead of you. Have you thought about abortions? I know its hard. I know its difficult but are you ready for this?" My friend said, "The father doesn't care. And my parents will be upset if I have the child. Even though they are divorced. They will make it hard on me. I have no one else to turn to." I said, "Maybe you should talk to your counselor first and see what they say. I'll support you Sancha. You're my best friend in the whole world. You were always there for me. And I will be always there for you." I kept the secret from my parents till she decided what to do. And Sancha had the abortion because she did not want to drop out of school and she was not ready for a baby. And without any support, she was alone and she never told her parents about the truth so they will pay for it. My parents asked me "Why aren't you happy Dia? Why are you sad? It's your 16th Birthday!" I responded in tears, "Mom my friend, my best friend, Sancha was pregnant. Her parents forced her to have an abortion. I agree and feel guilty. Did I do the right thing? Did I say the right words?" My father let my mother handled it, "Dia you don't know. It's not your fault. You are not responsible for her and neither is she responsible for you. You're friends but friendship goes only so far. You did not force her. You did not make it. It's not your fault." My mother moves to hug me. My father was moved to say,"Dia we tried to have another child but we couldn't. Your mother had a natural abortion. We didn't know how to tell you that your sibling, your little brother, or little sister weren't going to make it. But now we did. You know the real us. You know our wrongs. You can now understand our mistakes in life. You're not young anymore. Things happen that you cannot control but you have to believe that the good will win. Celebrate what you have today." And my father wrapped his arms around both of us. I called up my friend but she did not answer. I called up her for many weeks, her parents answered and said that she is healing in the hospital. I asked and pleaded to see her. Sancha's parents gave the address and room number. As I walked into the room, I took a deep breath. My friend yelled my name. I was surprised. "Dia I missed you so much. I missed school. Forget that guy I can find someone better. The doctors just wanted me to be careful. They say too many can stop pregnancy period. I've been thinking about you. Don't wait on me. Come visit. I haven't decided on going back to that school but I will be okay." And Dia with tears of joy hugged Sancha with all her might and said "You know I love you girl." And Sancha repeated her and she spent the whole night there updating her friend and visiting her until she left the hospital.