God Help Me Now

God Help Me Now

By: Norah Wright

Now I know what you're thinking, how did a young, vibrant, sweet soul like mine, Calley Lee, end up in Texas’s Correctional Penitentiary for Women with 20,000 dollars halfway down the Galveston Bay? Well, before anyone gives their bull side of the story to you i’ll give ya the full scoop.

See y'all it wasn’t even my fault, I’d find that the police seemed to not care about that piece of evidence when they saw me standing over John Caravans limp, gasoline soaked body, with a match in one hand and a bloody steak knife in the other. But, before I get to the after I have to explain the before.

We start on April 9, 2018 which I remember vividly because it was a sticky, muggy, blistering day in downtown Galveston, Texas. I had just closed up my convenience shop for the night when my brand new Loui Vutton, silver pumps made their way into some dog’s crap.

“Christ on a cracker, them doggone dog owners ain’t nothing but incompatible.” I mutter to myself. “Can’t believe they can even tie them own shoes in the mornin’.”

I spent the rest of that night walking through alleyways scraping and scuffing crap off my shoes, leaving a brown wake from Calley’s Convenience Shoppe to my own little home one block away on Goodwill St. When I got home I dropped my keys on the brown, dusty, yet chic side table next to the front door. My house was a quaint lil thang with two bedrooms and one bath, all the walls were peeling grey paint from their corners but I never got around to fixin the place up. After my shoes were cleaned and polished I took a shower and put myself to bed wishin I had more to do in this imcompitant life than work all day.

The following day went by in a blur once I saw the dashing man walk through my screaming doors of the shoppe. I introduced myself as the queen of convenience with a wink an a smirk.

“Well how do we do tonight fine man?”, I quipped in as sultry a voice I could muster.

“I’m mighty fine thanks for asking.’, spoke the gentleman. He wandered about the store keeping his eyes on the aisles while mine followed him like a duckling trying to keep up with it’s mamma.

“Do you have any aftershave?”, he said it so plainly yet the words sparked something in me that had been dead for so long. I realized in that moment just how lonely I felt in them past months. I had a boyfriend and a daughter but he left and took her with him while screaming something about me being incompetent for mother. Weasle knew just as much about parenting as I did but still, he got custody after I had a mental breakdown and locked baby in her room for two days straight. I needed time alone and that thang wouldn’t stop hollerin.

“Er yeah sweet thang over on them shelves by the frozen waffles.”

“Thanks.”

“You got something big coming up?”

“Huh?”

“Well your buying aftershave I assumed you had a date or business meeting...or a date.”

“Oh why no nothing that special. Told myself i’d better start getting off my butt or my ol’ dog, sparky, will have been let down.”

“Ah my I see. Very sweet of ya.”

“Well he’s my fathers old dog, 10 years old, my father has long since passed but that dog a fighter. I’m not sure why i’m telling ya my whole life story but you seem like a trustworthy, and wise soul.”

I barked out laughter at this, “Wise” please sweet thang i’m no old lady.

“Somethang wrong miss?”

“Oh boy you must have lost your mind to think i’m some old lady, I’m 25 years old.”

He blushed and sputtered out, “No, no, no, my ma’am i’m deeply sorry I didn't mean wise as in old. I thought you looked like a lady who had her mind set about the future.”

I laughed and beamed at him. “What’s your name?”

“John, John Caravan.”

We exchanged numbers and texted day after day growing more and more fond of one another as the blue bubbles floated across our screens. We went on our first date a week after the convenience store affair.

Now you're probably wondering why on earth do we start this story on the 9th and not 10th? Before you get all professional writers on me it’s because that night I ruined my shoes but the morning after I found a brand new pair of silver Loui Vuttons on my step. Someone had been watching me and I suspected John.

Now for the After, It was May 19th and me and John had been together for a little over a month. I finished up my shift, locked up the store for the night, an started down the way home. I was walking through an alley when a blood curdlin scream erupted from somewhere behind me. I’ve seen horror movies, I ain't no dumbo, instead of investigation I ran my ass home not stoppin till my front door was locked an barricaded.

“God help me now”, I say, shaking from fear as precipitation brews on my brows. Suddenly the back door opens, a tall figure walks in looming over the kitchen table. I grab my keys, placing one in each of my fingertips and lunge forward with the velocity of a cheetah in the great Sahara. Screaming, I plunge the keys into its chest and twist them about, then pulling them out I pierce the flesh over and over until the figure falls to the floor. The figure grunts an groans as I run for the lights, flick them on, and whip around to see John on the ground.

“JOHN”, I scream running over slipping on tiny pieces of paper. Money, and lots of it.

“Oh my baby are you ok!?”, instead of answering he pulls out a ting black notebook bursting at the seams with money, displaying multiple wounds in the leather.

“Don’t worry my checkbook saved me from your vicious attack.”, he utters grinning from ear to ear.

“You can’t scare me like that I say.”, Smackin him up on the head, hard but not too hard considering I almost murdered him.

“What’s got you so freaked?”

“I was walking home when I heard the most spine chillin cry. I high-tailed my ass home after not stopping till I was inside.”

“Baby that was you.”

“Scuse me?”

“You don’t remember?”

“No. clearly not, tell me.”

“Well you was walkin home and I saw you so I went to catch up an tell you I won the lottery but, then you screamed and started running. I didn’t know what was wrong so I followed ya, walked through the backdoor after findin the front locked, and got attacked by you in very much distress.”

“Oh then what was I scared for?”

“Huh? Scared whaddaya mean?”

“Johnny you just said I was scared.”

“No I didn’t”

“Babe yes, yes you did.”

“Your outta ya mind. Anyway now all this money is ruined so may as well be fish food.” before I could stop him he rose, walked swiftly to the bathroom and flushed 20 grand down the toilet. Shocked, I sat thinking of everything that had happened in the past 30 mins. Suddenly I felt a wetness at my knees, the toilet had flooded. I get up to tell Johnny that he needs to find somewhere else to put his ruined money but, when I enter the bathroom he ain’t there. I walk back to the living room and stop. Johnny lies on the floor in a pool of blood leaking from his stomach. In his hand he holds a torn black notebook.

Now I don’t know how I got to where I am after finding Johnny slaughtered. Cops told me I called 911 after stabbing him. Flabbergasted, I asked why on high heavens I would kill my boyfriend they replied with, “To get his winnings, he won the lottery.” Then I was told the whole chain of events.

After he called me saying he had won first, I followed him down the alleyway after telling him to meet me at my place for dinner. The cops got a hold of my cell phone and read me texts that apparently are me and John corresponding. Then I lunged at him with a knife, he turned, saw, and ran home. I entered from my back door and stabbed him. He didn’t realize it was me in the alleyway so he called me a million times leavin voicemails on how scared he was. The money got bloody so I flushed it down the toilet.

What's funny is I'm positive none of that is true. He didn't win the lottery, I didn't stab him, but alas not a single soul believes me. Yeah I stood over his body but it wasn’t me. Now, writing to you in this black notebook, the only thing left of my lover, I ask you what happened?