Giving Thanks To Pain

"I love you, my Grandma," three-year-old Blyss, my granddaughter, said to me. Her words send my heart break dancing.

I wonder, 'Where does love come from?'

I grew up without the love of a mother and father. I don't think their actions were intentional. They couldn't give what they didn't have. They couldn't show love to their children because they didn't know how to. I also was denied the love of the only grandmother I knew.

She was black, and my father's father was white. She hated her black skin and all of the black women her son loved. She wasn't aware that he loved her so much that he only choose women that looked like her. She rejected all of his fourteen children with four different black women. She never took the time to know any of us. I saw her on several occasions over the years, and I pitied her. She allowed hatred to deny her the love of grandchildren. She allowed hatred to deny her happiness.

Hatred is a powerful but destructive emotion — also a harrowing one.

Millions of people in our world manage to live and survive without knowing what love is, and many got it and lost it because they don't know what it is.

Do you know what Love is?

What is it to you?

Growing up deprived of parents' love, yet my heart is overwhelmed with so much love, it overflows in my thinking, thoughts, actions, ideas, choices, decisions, and in everything I do.

Where did my heart learn to love?

I don't know, but I do know that I want love. So I give it.

Every human who teaches my children anything, good or bad, I am grateful to them and they have my love and gratitude. There are many things I cannot and will not teach them. I know that I can rely on humanity to teach them cruelty, hatred, and all of the bad things in life.

While I focus on teaching them love, because it possesses the power to eliminate hatred. Wisdom goes with it too, guiding them to separate hatred from love.

Good and evil make up our world, and children must learn the difference between them early.

When did I learn to love? Who taught me?

It took me years to realize that Pain is one of my best teachers.

Pain encourages me to love; it's easier when I give and share love. I find my section of the world brighter, happier, and a better place to be.

Pain helps me to forgive. When I do, I am able to see what's ahead of me.

Pain showed me how to plan ahead. When I do, nothing catches me off guard because I have a backup plan for my backup plan.

Pain advise me to be kind. Being kind, I am short of nothing, not even ideas. I can quickly think of innovative ideas in every obstacle that I faced, and I never ran out of people willing to assist me. Someone is always there who wants to help me.

Pain tells me to share; because of that, many doors are open for me, and the ones that are closed, danger is hiding behind it.

Pain taught me understanding. I can put myself in the shoes of the circumstances and situations of others and make the correct choice and decisions.

Pain guided me to wisdom. I never allow my personal feelings to get into the way of what is right. The consequences of being stupid hurt, no matter the situation.

Pain encouraged me to think before I act. Stupid decisions are costly. I am not wealthy.

Pain directed me how to apply common sense in all of my doings. It will cost me only if it's not used.

Pain prepared me to be humble. Everywhere I go, I can return. In Jamaica, we say, "the humblest calf, suck the most milk."

Pain helps me to practice self-control that allows me to be slow to anger.

Rage is a destructive but costly weapon.

Pain coached me to be patient. I have tasted the results of impatience. I wouldn't say I like it.

When pain demands my attention, I give it. I don't like pain, so it's easy for me to avoid many things that will increase my agony.

When pain speaks, I listen because it warns me of impending danger through my actions, choices, and decisions.

So, today, I give thanks to Pain.

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoyed it.