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#GirlTalk: Why I Never Had Enough Female Friends

And why that is about to change.

By asdfghjklPublished 4 years ago 4 min read
2
IMAGE NOT MINE. SOURCE: WEHEARTIT

As I have come to terms with the fact that I never had enough female friends, I embarked on a journey to discovering everyone's favourite question, why. The reason why I never had enough of female friends in my circles, and why it was hard for me to feel comfortable around them, until now.

I know a lot of girls will relate to this article. The problem is not a lot of girls talk about this, and I think that's a problem because we're all sitting in our rooms crying because we don't have a single girlfriend that we can trust, instead of trying to figure out what is the actual problem.

By sharing my story I hope you guys can find something you can relate to as well as learn how to build strong, healthy friendships with other girls. Let's get into it.

My Backstory

Let's start from the beginning. When I was younger, I hung out with pretty much anyone. I was always a popular kid so making friends wasn't an issue, neither with girls nor with boys. I used to have girl best friends and guy best friends in elementary and somewhat in middle school.

In the second half of middle school, I got betrayed by my female best friend real hard, so close friendships with ANY girl became history. I started hanging out with guys more often because they didn't gossip and were much more chill.

I ended up being closer with guys till the end of high school, and till now, my second year in university.

I Don't Trust Girls

It is quite obvious, that after the incident in middle school, when my best friend betrayed me and caused me a lot of pain, I never trusted another girl again. It wasn't only her who pushed me to almost hating girls, it was all the girls in the class, who always talked about me behind my back and got jealous of me.

Over time, I got the impression that all girls were gossiping, backstabbing b*tches, and I never trusted one again. (Of course, there is one exception, a best friend that I had in high school when she studied with us for a year. To this day, I still talk to her and I love her very much.) Every girl seemed exactly the same to me, and at some point, I started disregarding them completely.

The Root of the Problem

It took me a while to understand that my perception of girls has been strongly influenced by a traumatic event in the past and that in order to fix that I had to go back to the root of the issue. I had a solid reason for not trusting girls anymore, but I also had an important realization to make - not all girls are going to be snakes.

It sounds so simple, but it took me a while to realize it. I was blinded by hurt and hate (I am quite a dramatist), which is why I failed to realize something so simple sooner. Once I accepted that fact, life became so much easier. I stopped seeing every girl I meet as an enemy and started seeing them as a potential friend.

Becoming more open towards girls helped me realize that a lot of them are actually really amazing women, and I became excited about finding new girlfriends again. This process made me re-establish my image of an ideal friend.

New Aspirations

Now that I finally learnt that not all girls are snakes and that a lot of them are really great, I decided to reconsider what kind of friends I wanted around myself. I want girlfriends that don't entertain themselves with gossip, that don't talk behind each other's backs, and that are not jealous of each other.

I want girlfriends that are loyal and kind, that are happy for each other and want to see (and help) each other succeed. I want to be surrounded by strong, independent women who strive for happiness and success. Girls that will have my back. Girls that will wish me the best.

In middle school, we are young and naive. We trust everybody. Growing up we realize that not everybody is going to be nice to you. I am so grateful to have realized the truth and allowed it to change my perception. I am so grateful to have figured out what kind of people I want to be surrounded by. I am so grateful to have learnt how to trust girls again.

I highly encourage you to strive for friends who will love you unconditionally and be by your side through thick and thin. But also, always remember to be the kind of energy you want to attract. Be kind and genuine and the same kind of people will get attracted to you.

(This article was originally written and published by me on We Heart It)

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asdfghjkl

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