Girl in the Moon

It was so infuriating to see him sail away. There was nothing Kelsey could do about it - he was already on the horizon. She knew why he was leaving, and part of her even understood, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

As the boat shrank from her view Kelsey rubbed her groggy eyes, trying to bring him back into focus. She'd been up late the night before scrolling on her phone, not knowing whether it was 2 or 4 AM when she finally put it down, or dropped it, and slept. Her nights had been like this for months now, nervous energy and shouting keeping her awake and anxiety keeping her plugged into her phone as a distraction from her parents' endless arguing. She had gotten used to running on two or three hours. Trudging would be a more accurate term. She was in a constant state of either numbness or feeling on edge. This morning was a long time coming.

She'd been awakened from her restless sleep by the sound of the screen door banging shut and a water jug bumping down the front steps. Checking her phone - 6:17 AM - Kelsey quickly threw back the covers and peaked out the window, though she already knew what she'd see. Her father was loading the boat up with bags, boxes, bottles, and crates - enough supplies to last weeks, if not months. Kelsey had seen his fishing gear poking out of a backpack, and framed photographs from years ago jumbled together in a box. So this was it.

Maybe now that he's actually gone, things will be better. Kelsey thought, as she leaned on the dock railing. She didn't have the energy to face her mother at home, knowing the tears, the excuses, the pathetic apologies that would ensue. The dawn was a soft blue this morning; only a few light gray and pink clouds drifted across the view. A full moon hung above it all, close to its descent into the ocean. Kelsey stood on the edge of the dock for a long time, until the moon touched the horizon line. The moon dipped below the ocean at the same point where she had just watched her father disappear.

Kelsey had pounded down the front steps of their home just as the boat motor had started its familiar grumble. "Dad, wait!" she yelled above the noise; he turned and paused. "I have to go, Kelsey. I'm sorry I can't take you with me."

"I know," Kelsey said, "I just had to say goodbye."

No tears fell from Kelsey's cheeks as she stared out on the choppy water, hugging her sweatshirt around her against the cold morning breeze. She knew that this was what was best for her father, and her mother too, even though she might never realize it. She would miss her dad so much, but picturing him out on the ocean alone, she knew he finally felt free. He was finally able to be happy. And she knew some day she would join him.

When she got home, she closed the front door quietly behind her and snuck back up to her bedroom. But she couldn't hide forever, and soon her mom swung her door open.

"What did he say to you?" her mom demanded, "Whatever he told you, it's not true!"

"He said he was sorry he couldn't take me with him - and so am I." Kelsey said bitterly.

"Well like I said, that's not true. There's no way that lazy bum would bring you with him. He's a deadbeat who shouldn't even call himself a father. He just jumped at the first excuse to let himself off the hook. I don't know why I was surprised. Good riddance, I say."

But Kelsey knew the truth. Her mom had been pushing him away for months, if not years. Kelsey wasn't sure when the problem had started, but she knew her mother was sabotaging their relationship. She also knew her dad was doing everything he could to stay. He had finally reached a breaking point. No matter what her mom said, Kelsey could never blame it on him.

That night, Kelsey finally slept well. She fell into a heavy slumber just as her head hit the pillow. In her dream she and her father sat in the curve of the moon, hanging fishing poles down on the horizon.