Ghosting is Just a Fancy Word for Emotional Abuse.

He said, "Good night, Skye" and that was the last I heard from him…three weeks ago.

My serious boyfriend who had just sworn to me the night before that he still wanted our relationship even though he had moved to another state (we were planning for me to move there), just up and quit talking to me out of nowhere after a very small disagreement…

No warning. No reason.

Just poof! Gone.

And just like that, the man that had once been my boyfriend, lover, and best friend - the guy that had talked with me about our future together and how much he wanted us for the long haul. The guy who I thought could be my soul mate.

Just up and quit our relationship without telling me.

Suddenly I don't exist in his world anymore…

He won't tell me what happened or what is going on, no matter how many times I've messaged or called begging for him to talk to me. That is almost more painful than someone dying…at least you know they died and why.

You know what happened.

But when someone who you were just sharing intimate details of your life (not to mention, your body) and planning a long-term future together (yes, I was willing to move there) just decides to cut you out without a warning…it's a serious mind fuck.

It's cruel. And just plain EVIL.

And by far one of the most selfish, disrespectful acts imaginable…not to mention cowardly.

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Let's Call Ghosting What it is

We need to call ghosting what it is. . . emotional abuse - at the very least it's a form of disrespect. The term ghosting makes it sound like a casual, emotional drive-by possibly involving a ghost. When in fact it's a form of abuse that is minimized by the mere vocabulary that we use to describe it.

Someone needs to call ghosting what it is…emotional abuse.

Ghosting is leaving a trail of broken-hearted and broken-spirited people behind who are becoming more like recycled trash than the actual beautiful human beings that they are.

People who have had the misfortune of being treated this way have been left with deep emotional and mental scars - not to mention spiritual devastation. They're left with a wide-open gap of pain and a mind that has been warped by the whiplash of the sudden loss of someone close to them without explanation or closure.

It's bad enough if you just started dating someone and they suddenly disappear, probably into the arms of some other poor soul, but when it's your significant other, that's an even bigger kick to the head.

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It's Not Ok to Treat People Like Objects

If the person you're with is aware of the fact that you're in a situationship without expectations, then it's much more understood that what you are both sharing has no defined commitment or obligations. But to be honest, even my on and off past lover aka my fwb has had enough respect to let me know if he's not feeling it. He might've ghosted me once or twice but usually, he would let me know when he wanted to take a "break" and I've done the same for him.

It's called basic human decency and respect.

The problem is when two people have built a mutually agreed-upon exclusive, committed relationship on a foundation of trust and intimacy. Then one of them suddenly goes ghost on the other without any real explanation and treats them as if they never existed. A perfect example of this is how my recent ex-boyfriend, Mr. Vegas just up and ghosted me out of nowhere.

Now, that's a problem. A serious problem.

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We've Become a Selfish, Self-serving Society

I realize that we now live in a world where it's become the norm to swipe left and swipe right like we're ordering people from a vending machine but maybe that's the problem. We've become too comfortable with treating people like replaceable objects who only live to serve our needs and wants.

We've become a selfish, self-serving society.

And it's biting us in the ass.

Ghosting has become a popular choice of "breaking up" not just with Millenials but in every age group. My recent ex Mr. Vegas just turned 49 yrs old this past year and is quite a bit older than me. Whereas, my Fwb was only 29 yrs…

So No, it's not about age.

It's about a total lack of respect for another human being on a very basic level. Ghosting is a direct product of our instant gratification, order now mentality. It seems that our society's emotional IQ has fallen well below the poverty line. And we are now dealing with the consequences of it.

It seems that our society's emotional IQ has fallen well below the poverty line.

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To Sum It Up

Just because ghosting has become a socially tolerated behavior does not make it ok or justify it. People who ghost need to be held accountable for their actions (or rather, lack of). We need to start holding "ghosters" accountable for their bad behavior and call them on their shit.

Abuse is not acceptable no matter what label we give it. It's still abuse and we need to take ghosting much more seriously. For every "Ghost" out there, there is now an emotionally damaged human being walking around with a broken heart and damaged mind ready to cause pain to another.

This is how societies crumble from the inside out. By allowing people to continually damage and hurt other people without regard for another person's right to emotional and mental well-being. It's time we stop allowing this behavior to continue and say enough is enough.