Getting Hurt by the One You Love

I never thought it was going to be you.

Turning 16 was a big deal for me. Getting my license, having a sweet sixteen party, starting my first job — I felt like I had the world at my fingertips. Sixteen was also when I got my first boyfriend. He was the popular athlete, while I was the shy nerd; a typical storybook love story with a not-so-typical ending.

Being young and in love is a dangerous thing. Especially if you are dating someone who has done this before. He made love so easy, even though it is truly a complex feature of life. Between all the lies and the cheating, I never knew I could be controlled so much by one soul. He knew his reputation and disregarded mine, thinking he could take advantage of the mind of an innocent, reserved girl.

I was head-over-heels for this one person, considering that I stayed with them for over two years despite all the hardships I had to endure. I was constantly breaking myself down to bring him up. I was losing myself to someone who didn’t care about anyone but themselves. But I am one to be optimistic about things I cannot change. So to the person who had my heart for so long, thank you.

Thank you for showing me that I deserve better. I deserve more than the nights I cried myself to sleep or the countless times you got my hopes up just to crush them soon after. I deserve more than the times that I thought I was not good enough for you, even though you proved to be the one who was not good for me.

Thank you for showing me what not to look for in a relationship. Everyone needs to be with someone who lifts them up in the good and bad times, not someone who turns the other cheek when the going gets tough. I deserve to be with someone who makes me want to become the best person I can be and that will motivate me to reach my potential.

Thank you for bringing me closer to my family and friends. Without them, I would’ve still been blinded by you and your lies and still would be under your spell. They saved me from the big black hole you pushed me into. They helped me realized my position in the world while you showed me time and time again that I was a nobody.

And finally, thank you for making me realize that I am strong enough to move on. For a long time, I thought you were the only one that was going to love me — or at least act like it. But I had enough of all the misery and the sadness; I realized that I deserve to be truly happy.

To the one I used to love, I never thought it was going to be you who was going to change me. But you helped change me into a better version of myself. I know my worth, my place in this world, and I finally know myself. You taught me that I am a lot stronger than I think I am. You showed me that people are not always who they say they are, so now I know to remove the toxic people out of my life.

To the one I used to love, thank you for pushing me away. Thank you for directing me to a better life, without you.

My future looks a lot brighter now that the clouds moved away from the sunshine.