Gender Reveal Parties are So Problematic

In my twenty seven years, I've never once been invited to a gender reveal party, and I cannot tell you how happy I am about this. This type of party is controversial and problematic in more ways than one, and not only this, but they can be dangerous too! Of course, despite its creator despising the trend, the "gender reveal party" remains alive and popular among (mostly) Millennial parents. Truthfully, this trend needs to be killed.

The problems with gender reveals:

1. They're narcissistic.

For a party that claims to be focused on an unborn baby, it's always about the parents. It's like waving a giant banner that says I want everyone to know the genitals of my unborn child! I mean, the baby isn't even born yet and so obviously, this party isn't really for them. It's for you, party-thrower, makers of said baby. You're the ones who want all the attention. You want to share the photos of your baby's sex on social media, and be given presents that claim to be for the baby, while all the way licking up the attention and using a developing baby as a reason to be self-indulgent.

2. They're elaborate and/or dangerous.

I'm sure we all know of the dangers of gender reveal parties. Instead of cutting a cake or just telling friends, organizers of these parties set of fireworks or start fires all for a little bit of excitement and some social media fame. In September 2020, a pyrotechnic device at a gender reveal party started a wildfire in California, which destroyed thousands of acres of land and many people's homes. In March 2021, a forest fire was ignited in Canada after the organizers of a gender reveal party shot an exploding target. And there have been, of course, many more incidents like this, needlessly killing people and destroying nature for a little fun and a photo op.

3. They force cis and gender normativities.

Sex ≠ gender, but lots of people still don't understand this. Gender reveal parties enforce the idea that pink is for girls and blue is for boys, as well as push gender norms and expectations on a baby that isn't even born yet. The problem here lies not only with the colours, but with the reveal itself. An expectant parent, by revealing their baby's "gender", is preparing themselves for a child which follows the rules of said gender - whatever these are. There's a disconnect between genitalia and gender identity; correlation doesn't equal causation here. Won't a parent be disappointed, if they expect a baby they've labeled as female doesn't identify as female? Won't a child, when they get older and stumble across the footage or photos of this party, feel uncomfortable and pressured?

4. They're creepy.

I mean, come on. It's a party all about an unborn baby's genitals. What about this could possibly not be creepy?

Somebody I follow on social media, a trans man, gave birth to a child a couple of years ago. Their gender was never revealed, never decided, referred to by everyone as they until deciding for themselves. I adore this. People say a child is too young to decide for themselves, to know for themselves, but I disagree. I think, despite their young age, a child knows themselves better than anybody.

I have a friend who recently posted a gender reveal party on social media to announce her pregnancy. All this does, when you really think about it, is to announce to the world that your baby has a penis, which is both weird and none of anyone's business. It assumes that the child will grow up to relate to their assigned gender, as well as completely ignores and invalidates those who are intersex. It pushes gender norms and expectations on the child before it's even born. Your baby is a human. That should be all that matters.