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Games and the People We Play.

Play or Get Played.

By Tiana ProctorPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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Games and the People We Play.
Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

In a time where everyone is playing to win and winning is ultimately not getting played. What do we end up losing in the end?

Now since I wasn’t around in the last century, I can’t necessarily speak on how smooth the dating scene was, but I will say things have definitely taken a turn.The most blatant observation is we don’t date anymore.

We meet one person and as soon as we feel a connection, we cut off any other tempting prospects.

I see this in myself and a lot of other women. We end up putting all our eggs in one basket, and you know what happens when you put all your eggs in one basket?

Cracked eggs.

Of course, to the opposite of this, I see a lot of men miss out on great women because they want to explore all their options.

But what’s worse exploring all your options and ending up alone or settling for the bare minimum out of fear that there’s no one better.

Personally, the only reason I’ve never thought to entertain more than one person at a time is because, truthfully, I’m just lazy. The thought of having to keep up with so many different conversations, taking in so much personal information from more than one person seems so exhalargeusting; I can barely keep up with the one person I’m barely interested in, but that’s just the introvert in me talking.

If you come to my blog in search for answers or direction, I don’t know how well I’m doing, because I’m just learning as I go.

That being said, there are a few bad decisions still being made such as revisiting old wounds. I won’t say much about the actual experience other than the fact that it did nothing for me other than confirm what I already knew to be true.

The past was exactly what it was, the past. And it was meant to stay there.

I think we’ve romanticized men coming back into our lives so much that we forget they only come back for one thing.

Access.

Access to your mind, feelings, and obviously your body. Men are egotistical by nature, and I don’t say this in a bad way, because I, myself, love a confident man. But nothing feeds ego more than knowing that no matter what damage you’ve done, you can always come back.

“In a time where everyone is playing to win and winning is ultimately not getting played. What do we end up losing in the end?“

The day after I had a million emotions, but they all made me feel the same, numb.I felt dumb, overwhelmed, sad, happy, mad, every emotion in a matter of 24 hours.

Dumb because I knew better and yet still made the same decision, I would’ve made a year ago. Overwhelmed because I honestly couldn’t believe this was the person, he turned out to be. Sad because I wanted so much more for us. But happy knowing that if this was the type of man he really was, it would be that much easier to get over him.

I woke up the second day realizing that even with all these emotions, there was some damage control that needed to be done, that should’ve been done right when it happened.

Deleting the thread, the pictures, the videos, and throwing out that Valentine’s Day card that was filled with empty promises that he knew he couldn’t keep.

I realized that the only reason he had access to me was because I let him.

Not because I was so dumb in love with him, not because at one point he was my best friend, and not even because I had missed him so much.All these things could still stand true but that didn’t grant him access to me.

Like an epiphany, I came to grasp that there must have had to be something broken inside of me to still accept someone who would treat me like this.

But also, to realize that this wasn’t about him. This could’ve been anyone, he just so happened to be a victim of opportunity.

It made me consider, were my broken pieces the root of all these broken relationships?

breakups
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About the Creator

Tiana Proctor

The modern day Carrie Bradshaw if you will. I write about my life and my experiences with love, friendship, and life after college.

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