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From Queen Bee To Breaking Up

You always think it never happens to you until it does.

By Robyn WelbornePublished 6 years ago 6 min read
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Prelude

I never thought that my life would turn out like this. Five months ago to the date, I was a completely predictable version of myself. Now, I do not know even know exactly who I am anymore. But, let me backtrack to about three years ago and explain how I came to be this way. This is the story of how I survived living in the negative spacing…

* * * * *

I.

My life was great. It was definitely far from perfect; but, durable. I had everything; a reliable job, high school diploma, a couple of solid friends, a tolerable boyfriend, and his half-brother on the side. Things were looking on the up and up for me. I soon will come to realize how wrong I was. It was the start of my now fourth Spring Semester at Community College, and like every returning student, I was extremely ill-prepared. This was not the first time that I had to pull a miracle out of my ass; but just like Timon and Pumbaa had said in the Lion King, “Hakuna Matata.” It was a tardy-filled start, but I managed to make it through the month of January with a solid B. The first week of February had come and gone, yet all I could think about was seven more days; a week until my birthday.

I thought about what I should do this year. I was turning twenty, and that counted for something in my life. I wandered off in class; ENG 1140. Mr. Lander was rambling off-topic again which gave me a perfect opportunity to pull out my cellphone and text Collin. Collin and I had been dating solid for almost five years since we met back at Jordan County High School in good ol' Atlanta, Georgia. Despite us being the same age, I was a senior and he was my sophomore. Collin was a cute little thing. Standing six feet, four inches, dark brown eyes, even darker skin, and a dazzling smile to boot. He was the total “pretty boy” package, and I was smitten by him. I shot him a quick text, and soon enough, he replied back.

After class, I quickly scribbled my initials on the sign-in paper and headed out the door. I wasted no time driving thirty minutes to Collin’s house to see my baby. I admit it, I am clingy. I am needy. I am a jealous woman. He knew all this and still accepted me for who I am. I spent a couple of hours at his house until the sun went down. He kissed me goodnight and gave me a hug that could last a century. I drove home happy that night, unaware of the heartbreaking truth that that would be our final night together.

February 15, 2013; a very windy Monday. I woke up with a slow and groggy start. I sat up on the edge of my bed and pondered over my life. I just was not feeling class today, so I skipped. I laid myself back to sleep.

February 16, 2013; a cold, yet sunny Tuesday. I dragged myself into the shower, and completely wasted the warm water on me while I checked my recent text messages. I felt the water turning cold forcing me to put down my cellphone and rush through the soapy cleaning process. Just as the final drop turned icy, I turned off the knob and hopped out. My day had come and gone. I religiously checked my cellphone every hour on the hour, but it only made me more disappointed and upset. Colin had not talked to me all day. And, I did not know why. I decided to call him the moment I reached home. I sat parked in the driveway in case if he gave me the A-okay to come over. It was a pretty heated forty-five minute conversation, and I was far from settling down. I could not wait to settle this nonsense face to face. Once again, I took that faithful drive down his way.

I pulled up to his house to find that he was already outside waiting for me. I saw that chin was buried deep in his chest; both his arms and legs were crossed. The unsettling bad aura hung heavy in the air like a bad funk. I put my car in park and slinked over to him. He did not even grant me the common courtesy to lift his head during the conversation. I felt weak to my heart. My body collapsed down to my knees as the whole world spun around in circles. I caught a glimpse of Collin picking himself up heading back into the house. I called out and froze him in his tracks. I should not be causing a scene during this time of night, but I could not help myself. My irate behavior would not allow me to process my actions clearly. I ran up to him kicking and screaming. Like most crazy ex-girlfriends, I was not taking the breakup very well. His parent were not home; I did not care. It did not matter to me who was watching nearby. I had lost it. Normal people would had broken down and cried, I did not. Just the opposite, I lashed out. He curled up in a defense position while I attacked him. Yes, I did just that. I had no remorse, nor immediate regret for what I was doing. I could hear faint voices from around me as neighbors came out to spy on our nighttime ordeal. It was an embarrassing event, but embarrassment was the farthest thing from my mind. I was only concerned with when, why, and how this boy destroyed my heart.

Hours passed by, and finally he reached out and grabbed my arms. His shirt was ripped on the chest where I had latched on and pulled him back towards me. He shook me violently before asking me to go home. I got scared. I had no idea what was about to happen, nor did I want to find out what he was going to do to me. I deserved it, but I still tried to avoid the inevitable. We stood together in silence on his front porch; people watching us from all angles of the sidewalk. He apologized over and over, but what difference did it make? He was never coming back to me; never going to be mine again. I gave in and broke down. That night, I cried my eyes out in his arms. His heart was made up. The reality was set. He let me go, out final hug. He kissed my forehead, our final kiss. Never once did he make eye contact with me; and honestly, I did not want it. I took out my keys and turned to leave. He mumbled a faint "I'm sorry" in the distance behind me. I was a mess. I was a complete mess. On the drive home, I called two people. That same night, I went to sleep alone.

… To be continued.

breakups
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About the Creator

Robyn Welborne

I am an aspiring creative writer who is currently working for my double Associate’s Degree in English. My writing has no limits and no filter. Anything and everything from all genres; if I think about it, then I will write it down. Enjoy!

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