Friendship Breakups Are Worse

I can't stand how you swan around thinking you are perfect. But knowing you, you would scoff, roll your eyes and say you are not perfect. You always fail to see your mistakes. I am no saint and I have flaws but I could never treat people the way you do. You are beginning to make a fool out of yourself. Playing the victim. Treating me like a mug, playing games and lying to my face. How did I not see your true colours before. Actually no, I knew what you were like before but I chose to overlook those characteristics because no one is perfect. If you really love someone, you should appreciate them for who they are, right? Well that's what I did, I did what you asked, what you demanded and what you hinted. I was thoughtful and considerate. But you chuck me aside, forget about me and made me question my own sanity.

Yes you were there for me. You were there for me during my breakup, you celebrated passing my driving test and we created loads of memories. Which I am grateful for. I do miss you because you changed in a way where you were there for me more and I felt I could rely and trust in you, the way I do in you.

But what happened? Where did our friendship go wrong? You blamed my boyfriend at the time but don't you know better than to let a man come between us girls? Isn't that the girl code?

That's not the real reason because I did EVERYTHING to get us back on track. I did not want to lose the friendship that we worked hard on. I tried to reason with you, I apologised mercifully, I answered your questions... all for you to do nothing. I realised then that maybe I'm just like the others you treat, bitch about behind their back, laugh and take selfies with as if you were truly friends. You didn't once think about how I felt or apologise. I even asked the wisest people to I know to look at our conversation to see what went wrong, if it was all truly my fault, if I did not try hard enough. But no, they could see no fault in my actions.

I felt like I embarrassed myself trying to be the good friend for you, unconsciously seeking your approval.

Eventually I told my mum what happened. She said I shouldn't bother with you anymore. But I said I missed having my partner in crime. But I don't think I could ever trust you again, especially seeing how you disregarded me after our disagreement. It was as if you were cold and heartless.

Mum said you were always a drama queen and immature so I scoffed and said she's only saying that because she is my mum. My mum shook her head in disagreement. I realised my mum is never biased, she always makes people see both side of the argument and she has always spotted my fake friends before me. I guess they do say mums know best. Plus she has met you plenty of times to know what you are like, LOL.

A part of me does miss you and I feel hurt at how you have betrayed me. We always make up after arguments but this time it seems to hurt me deeper than usual. I don't think we could ever get close again the way we were before. I saw too much of your dark side for that to happen. I'm not perfect myself but I couldn't do what you do to others. I try to empower the people around me, not judge them or beat them while they are down.

Perhaps it is my fault for having high expectations in my friends. I'm just gonna have to go through life meeting and leaving people