Friendly Lessons

I can't imagine being the person I am today,if not for my friends. My perspective expanded after interacting with each one of them. Before meeting these people,I wasn't a bad person but to say I could actually think about the needs of 5 other people around me would be an overstatement. I would be nice to people I liked & physically do things for them. But actual goodness is deeper..it involves doing things without being seen & fulfilling needs that weren't expressed. And all this happens organically without the need to think about them all the time. One does these acts without the string of incentive. Day after day,I would come across incidents of friends around me who would act this way. THAT is true friendship. In fact,it's true for all relationships: if they can go beyond incentives only then is the relationship genuine. I have never ending gratitude for all my friends & friends of friends who showed me the true meaning of being a friend & friendly/brotherly/sisterly love.

So how did I learn from people around me? There are small,small incidents. Say,when I was asked to sing in a classroom during my college days,one friend of mine stood up with me. Just the fact that he was standing with me allowed me to sing in full flow. Why did he stand up with me? Why did he come together in full view of the class with me? He just wanted to encourage me. But I never said or gestured anything to him! He just knew. Similarly,one friend of mine used to go to a Chemistry tutor. Now this teacher would ask students to sit in concentric circles around him. Invariably,one lot of kids would end up in the last queue and be unable to listen to the teacher. Thus,they would end up with half-baked notes & struggle in exams. So this friend of mine,having himself struggled like this on some days thought of a solution. His father had recently bought a personal computer for him alongwith a printer/scanner. He took out scanned copies of his own notes. He then photocopied them. He made 11-12 sets of this sort and distributed it to the kids in his tuitions. Why did he do it? Was there any girl he loved in that 'circle' or had a crush on? No. In fact,all of them were guys & all of them weren't even his friends. This incident just blew my mind. I would never even think of doing anything like this. I would at best lend my notes if someone asked. But to take printouts! That is next level of selflessness. In another incident,I was visiting a friend of mine in another city. She was working in an IT firm back then. The climate was boiling hot. It was above 104 F throughout the day. But her flat had only one AC room. When I came to her flat she asked me which room I wanted. I testingly asked for the AC room. She didn't even budge and said ok you stay here. It was hot even at night but she somehow managed with a ceiling fan alone. After the first day,I started feeling guilty & wanted her to just give me a hint so that I could suggest alternating b/w the AC room & non-AC room. She never even hinted! I stayed at her flat for 4 days. It's been many years since that visit & that topic has never come up. It was actually nothing for her. She didn't feel she was shortchanged in any manner.

When such people are around you,you should realize that you are the fortunate one ..fortunate enough to call them your friend. Cherish them and try to keep them close. Run for them,reach out to them,pick their calls on time or else return their calls as fast as possible,bear their small rants & excesses. For that is how you can express gratitude for all they taught you.