Fracture

Ruvimbo: Why haven’t you been taking my calls, or answering my texts?

Amara: I’ve been busy, I told you. School, church, family stuff. My world doesn’t revolve around you, you know.

Ruvimbo: That was a cheap shot. When have I ever made everything all about me?

Amara: Every second of every minute of every hour of every….

Ruvimbo: Cut the monologue! We are best friends, we are always talking. We are always together. You disappearing on me without explanation is beyond cruel. I at least deserve to know why.

Amara: There, that’s your problem. You think I have to explain every little detail of my life to you. Just because you like laying your every thought out on paper for people to read and pick apart, it doesn’t mean I’m that stupid.

Ruvimbo: Stupid? Processing is stupid, is it? And yet you lap it up because it makes you feel oh so powerful. The great fount of all wisdom, the eloquent advisor, always poised to make me feel like I’m going off the rails, and then avoiding your own problems!

Amara: My only problem is that I didn’t cut you off sooner!

…

Ruvimbo: …Fine. I’m not going to beg you to be my friend. If you don’t want me in your life anymore, I can respect that, even if it hurts. I’ll see you around.

Amara: Wait. I didn’t mean that.

Ruvimbo: And yet that’s what came out of your mouth.

Amara: I’m just expediting the inevitable, Ru.

Ruvimbo: The inevitable? I don’t want a single day in this life to pass by where I cannot call you my best friend. In my mind, the only inevitable thing is the passing of time, not the fracture of our friendship.

Amara: It’s already begun though, and I don’t see how I’ll ever be able to stop it.

Ruvimbo: What do you mean? Stop speaking in metaphors and tell me what’s going on in plain English.

Amara: I saw you, okay? I saw you hanging out with your new brunch loving book readers. And you looked happier than I’ve seen you look in months. And I couldn’t make you smile like that. I used to be able to make you laugh at the most random, stupid things. But things are different now. You’re with them so often, you post about it and brag about it, and it just seems like I’m not interesting enough for you anymore.

…

Ruvimbo: They do make me happy. And they do make me smile, but they will never replace you. We have been floating around for years, trying to find people who make us feel important. They make me feel important. And they make me laugh, and smile, and burst with joy. Which is why I’ve been inviting you to every single brunch, every shopping trip, every sleepover for months, and you’ve had an excuse every single time. Why?

Amara: I just don’t think it’ll work. We’ve tried before. We’ve tried to enter a new group and be ourselves, and let our guards down. We always end up alone, and miserable. And sometimes it doesn’t surprise me, but I’ve seen it crush you. It takes the light out of your soul. I couldn’t risk that happening again. So I decided to stay on the sidelines, waiting for the inevitable ending of this joyride you’re on.

Ruvimbo: I love you. And I love that you are so deeply concerned about my wellbeing, but this time, you don’t have to be. I haven’t put up a single false pretence with these girls. I’ve been myself from the very beginning, and they love me. And they’ll love you too. They’ve been asking after you. So, stop self-sabotaging. Come with me to lunch on Thursday. You’re too young to be so resigned about people.

Amara: I’ll think about it.

Ruvimbo: Besides that, are we okay? Now that you know how truly irreplaceable you are to me?

Amara: Yeah. We’re okay. And by the way you’ve had my jacket since we stopped talking.

Ruvimbo: point being?…

Amara: I want it back.