Today I took a good look at myself, and it wasn't pretty. I found myself going over my bank statements, credit card bills, and yes, my Amazon purchase list.
All I can say is YIKES! It took me a good couple of hours of arguing with myself before I finally determined the verdict. I am guilty! Guilty of excessive spending on non-essential and what some would consider frivolous items.
I am my judge and jury, and my hands are dirty. The evidence is sits mocking me in every room of my house.
Hey, remember me? I am one of the fifty books that you purchased when the pandemic started last year. You know, after I swore to myself I would make good use of all of the lockdown time and not spend hours binging on Netflix.
Yeah, that was a lie. I watched hours and hours of Netflix between running out to my porch to grab the countless deliveries from my uncontrollable online shopping sprees.
These to-be-read books now sit gathering dust on the new bookshelf I had to purchase to shelve them, awaiting my attention. I now have an embarrassing moment's room, also known as the spare bedroom.
This room is full of countless crafty projects I just had to have to fill my hours at home. On a large table bought just for their purpose sits several Diamond Painting kits, yarn for the numerous afghans I was to crochet, not mentions hundreds of dollars spent in scrapbooking materials.
I was, after all, going to document this crazy Coronavirus pandemic news for historical purposes. All of these wonderfully planned activities and the countless hundreds of dollars spent.
I am so ashamed of my compulsiveness. I won't even get into the number of jigsaw puzzles, crossword books, and so on that remain untouched.
All of these things, I convinced myself I HAD to have to occupy my time during the lockdown. Now one year later, who knew that I really only needed $8.99 a month and Facebook?
Oh, the wonderful things I could have accomplished had I been a stronger soul. But, no, I let myself get caught up in the pandemic craziness and let binge-watching and social media suck me in.
So thank you, me, you self-control lacking couch potato. I know I could blame it all on the pandemic, but that again would be another lie to myself. It might make me feel better, but it would still be a lie.
I could also tell myself everyone was doing it but were they really? Most likely, according to the millions of social media posts of 2020. Do I feel bad about it? Yes, and no.
Would I do things differently had I known? Sad to say, probably not if we are honest here. Should I punish myself? Since I am the judge and jury, I believe I will sentence myself to several months of overtime to make up for the cash I blew. I will also ground myself from Netflix for the next couple of months. Thank goodness for Hulu!
As for my abundance of books to read and projects to do, I will get to them...eventually. Oh, who am I kidding? Shame on me! In the real world, I will be doing my spring cleaning sometime this summer and donating a whole lot of cool stuff to become someone else's future room of things they will likely never get to either.
So in conclusion, I will say dang you, technology for making it too easy for someone as weak as me to self-indulge. Okay, now that I got that off of my chest, I will relax a bit online. Oh no, here we go again!
About the Creator
Susana Shadows
A woman of the world who feels like she has already lived many lifetimes and adventures in just a handful of decades.
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