Follow Up on Adult Bullying

Where I left off with my last story wasn't the full issue of what happened after, so here I am writing the rest of what went down after the fact and before the baby. This is going to be more on how everyone viewed what happened and how they felt from what the other two had told me. When people aren't physically there, people tend to blame the one thrown into the middle of things. Sometimes certain individuals involved won't own up to what they did wrong even though they know exactly what they did wrong. Actually, it could be considered molestation since nobody had my permission in the first place.

I will be the first to say that if your marriage is going downhill, you don't stick your husband's hands down your friend's pants especially without permission. How I feel about the situation is that not only was I half asleep as she stuck his hand where it didn't belong in the first place, but she opened the doors to use me as an excuse to get out of her marriage. Yes, they are officially divorced now and she moved out before I even moved in with him after she told him they need to see other people. I personally felt very uncomfortable due to the fact that my then best friend just stuck her husband's hand in my no-no zone. Since when is it okay to do this to your best friend and then blame them for everything that happens afterwards? How is that okay?

Her then husband also felt uncomfortable because the two of us didn't want to go there but she pressured us both into it and so he also eventually complied. It's not cheating if you're pressured into it. At least that's the way I see it. You can't blame him or me for feeling pressured enough that we comply so it stops. That incident is in no way my fault nor is it his fault. I unknowingly moved 10 minutes away from where they were moving to, so I guess we were bound to end up with each other at some point. I guess that's why she thinks I intentionally moved 10 minutes away.

I mean yes we finished after this happened on that day, but in all honesty, we felt super guilty and never wanted it to happen again. She called him a pedophile afterward because of the age difference even though we were and still are both adults. I don't think that was fair to him due to the fact that he has no attraction to little ones what so ever and literally would love to sock a pedophile in the face if he was given the chance. In other words, he is actually very nice at least most of the time because like all men, he can be a jerk sometimes.

After all of this, his ex-started twisting the story around to make it look like my fault and SO's fault when neither of us had had plans to be with each other. I got back together with my ex-boyfriend in between all of this and was hoping to stay with him the rest of my life and was hoping to work on what originally had caused us to break up, and we were even planning on moving in together. After I moved, he had called me and broken up with me saying he wanted better for me because he didn't understand why I got back together with him. I don't want to do that now. My SO and I are fine where we are now, but the point is, we both wanted to stay with the people we were with originally.

My SO was devastated when she decided to leave him and right before Thanksgiving, no less. Of course, she tells the story differently than the two of us and those who know her well don't really believe her because they know she can twist things around. A whole group of people can't be wrong if they know the person well enough. I personally never had the intention of hurting her even after this had happened and my SO was tired of being hurt himself and she'd always stay over her ex's house which became increasingly frequent. It's wrong to blame one person for this whole situation but one is indeed more at fault than the other.

The way she tells it is that he and myself had the intention of going behind her back and helping him cheat and I apparently stayed over their house while she was in the hospital, but that didn't happen on any occasion. In fact, I spent my time walking around town looking for a job that I so desperately needed at the time. In reality, she went on the stories made up by my ex-best friends who had stopped talking to me because I gave my ex another chance and they were jealous they couldn't find someone to be in a relationship with at the time. People wonder why I end up being so defensive and mean and I will tell you it's because they mistake my kindness for weakness.

Never take someone who is nice for granted, because yes, they can, in fact, do a 360, especially if people had hurt them in the past. His ex victimized herself in her version of how this situation really happened. In all actuality, my SO and I actually the victims. Actually, one night when she was drunk she threatened to hurt our baby and that set me on edge so I refuse to leave the room if she's holding him. Not that that's happened often, but when it does, I sit rather close on the couch next to the couch she sits on. Some people peg her to be this insanely nice person all the time, but that's what she wants people to see and if she wants she can make you look bad even though she started something she never should have started this whole thing in the first place.

She always said how she thought he and her would split up and eventually used me, her former best friend, as a scapegoat as the excuse to leave her husband and blame me and him for everything and anything that happened.