Flame Janey

"I'll just unpin my hat," said Janey, and she went over to the dressing-table. "Aah!" She gave a little cry. "What is it?" "Nothing, darling. I've just found the children's letters. That's all right! They will keep. No hurry now!" She turned to him, clasping them. She tucked them into her frilled blouse. She cried quickly, gaily: "Oh, how typical this dressing-table is of you!" "Why? What's the matter with it?" said Hammond. "If it were floating in eternity I should say 'John!'" laughed Janey, staring at the big bottle of hair tonic, the wicker bottle of eau-de-Cologne, the two hairbrushes, and a dozen new collars tied with pink tape. "Is this all your luggage?" "Hang my luggage!" said Hammond; but all the same he liked being laughed at by Janey. "Let's talk. Let's get down to things. Tell me" - and as Janey perched on his knees he leaned back and drew her into the deep, ugly chair - "tell me you're really glad to be back, Janey." "Yes, darling, I am glad," she said. But just as when he embraced her he felt she would fly away, so Hammond never knew - never knew for dead certain that she was as glad as he was. How could he know? Would he ever know? Would he always have this craving - this pang like hunger, somehow, to make Janey so much part of him that there wasn't any of her to escape? He wanted to blot out everybody, everything. He wished now he'd turned off the light. That might have brought her nearer. And now those letters from the children rustled in her blouse. He could have chucked them into the fire. "Janey," he whispered. "Yes, dear?" She lay on his breast, but so lightly, so remotely. Their breathing rose and fell together. "Janey!" "What is it?" "Turn to me," he whispered. A slow, deep flush flowed into his forehead. "Kiss me, Janey! You kiss me!" It seemed to him there was a tiny pause - but long enough for him to suffer torture - before her lips touched his, firmly, lightly - kissing them as she always kissed him, as though the kiss - how could he describe it? - confirmed what they were saying, signed the contract. But that wasn't what he wanted; that wasn't at all what he thirsted for. He felt suddenly, horrible tired. "If you knew," he said, opening his eyes, "what it's been like - waiting to-day. I thought the boat never would come in. There we were, hanging about. What kept you so long?" She made no answer. She was looking away from him at the fire. The flames hurried - hurried over the coals, flickered, fell. "Not asleep, are you?" said Hammond, and he jumped her up and down. "No," she said. And then: "Don't do that, dear. No, I was thinking. As a matter of fact," she said, "one of the passengers died last night - a man. That's what held us up. We brought him in - I mean, he wasn't buried at sea. So, of course, the ship's doctor and the shore doctor--" "What was it?" asked Hammond uneasily. He hated to hear of death. He hated this to have happened. It was, in some queer way, as though he and Janey had met a funeral on their way to the hotel. "Oh, it wasn't anything in the least infectious!" said Janey. She was speaking scarcely above her breath. "It was heart." A pause. "Poor fellow!" she said. "Quite young." And she watched the fire flicker and fall. "He died in my arms," said Janey. The blow was so sudden that Hammond thought he would faint. He couldn't move; he couldn't breathe. He felt all his strength flowing - flowing into the big dark chair, and the big dark chair held him fast, gripped him, forced him to bear it. "What?" he said dully. "What's that you say?" "The end was quite peaceful," said the small voice. "He just" - and Hammond saw her lift her gentle hand - "breathed his life away at the end." And her hand fell. "Who - else was there?" Hammond managed to ask. "Nobody. I was alone with him." Ah, my God, what was she saying! What was she doing to him! This would kill him! And all the while she spoke: "I saw the change coming and I sent the steward for the doctor, but the doctor was too late. He couldn't have done anything, anyway." "But - why you, why you?" moaned Hammond. At that Janey turned quickly, quickly searched his face. "You don't mind, John, do you?" she asked. "You don't - It's nothing to do with you and me." Somehow or other he managed to shake some sort of smile at her. Somehow or other he stammered: "No - go - on, go on! I want you to tell me." "But, John darling--" "Tell me, Janey!" "There's nothing to tell," she said, wondering. "He was one of the first-class passengers. I saw he was very ill when he came on board ... But he seemed to be so much better until yesterday. He had a severe attack in the afternoon - excitement - nervousness, I think, about arriving. And after that he never recovered." "But why didn't the stewardess--" "Oh, my dear - the stewardess!" said Janey. "What would he have felt? And besides ... he might have wanted to leave a message ... to--" "Didn't he?" muttered Hammond. "Didn't he say anything?" "No, darling, not a word!" She shook her head softly. "All the time I was with him he was too weak ... he was too weak even to move a finger ..." Janey was silent. But her words, so light, so soft, so chill, seemed to hover in the air, to rain into his breast like snow. The fire had gone red. Now it fell in with a sharp sound and the room was colder. Cold crept up his arms. The room was huge, immense, glittering. It filled his whole world. There was the great blind bed, with his coat flung across it like some headless man saying his prayers. There was the luggage, ready to be carried away again, anywhere, tossed into trains, carted on to boats. ... "He was too weak. He was too weak to move a finger." And yet he died in Janey's arms. She - who'd never - never once in all these years - never on one single solitary occasion-- No; he mustn't think of it. Madness lay in thinking of it. No, he wouldn't face it. He couldn't stand it. It was too much to bear! And now Janey touched his tie with her fingers. She pinched the edges of the tie together. "You're not - sorry I told you, John darling? It hasn't made you sad? It hasn't spoilt our evening - our being alone together?" But at that he had to hide his face. He put his face into her bosom and his arms enfolded her. Spoilt their evening! Spoilt their being alone together! They would never be alone together again.