First There Was Me... Then I Added Three: Jaybear, The Missing Piece
We last left off in December 2015 when I invited Romeo to move in with me. Remember in the other story where I talked about the centipede infested home and how the new place I lived in was a step up? Well, it was a step up; however, this place had an ant infestation. At first I thought nothing of it because it was almost winter and I figured once winter came, the ants would disappear.
Turned out the infestation was carpenter ants and they were eating away at the wood along with my food. I literally could not have any fresh food laying around or in the fridge, so my grocery list only consisted of canned foods and takeout. I ordered pizza one night and left the box in the oven like I normally did at my old home and when I had gone back for it the ants had gotten into the box and were all over my pizza.
Living in that home was a nightmare and I figured having Romeo by my side would have made it less crappy. We ended up having tons of arguments not only with each other but also with our inconsiderate roommates. I was beyond annoyed with how rude they were; they invited so many of their friends to sleep over and smoke IN the apartment. They would smoke marijuana, cigarettes, or do a line of cocaine. If they weren’t smoking it, he was selling it, but the worst part was how they took one of MY personal dishes and filled it with water to use as a dog bowl for one of their friend's dogs. That took the cake and when I tried to confront them for an apology they began swearing at me and basically saying they didn’t care.
My landlord then tried to evict them and my roommates locked themselves in the apartment so the landlord couldn’t get in. Looking back now, it was hilarious because our landlord was already a nutcase himself and since my roommates didn’t sign a legal lease, they could be kicked out whenever, and that time came. Did I mention that my druggy roommate also worked at the pharmacy? Not sure how he was still able to work there especially after having a charge for trafficking from the United States of America but that’s none of my business.
After my landlord successfully got rid of my other roommates everything became a war because he tried to evict me too. I was so angry he was trying to force me out when I had already moved so many times and had nowhere else to go. Plus, I was pregnant and none of my family or close friends knew besides a couple people. I was so stressed out I began calling everyone for help from the landlord and tenant board to the police for when my landlord broke into my home without my permission, to the health inspector, and the fire Marshall.
Turned out he was renting his place illegally and the whole building was in code violation for not having smoke detectors or carbon monoxide detectors. He was told he had until Tuesday to get everything up to code, which only gave him three days to do so. I kid you not he had his uncle and father who owned the building put in the detectors in everyone's apartment literally ONE hour before the Fire Marshall came back to inspect everything. By that time, I was over the stress and fed up with everything I packed up and moved everything into the storage and went to live with my mom.
After the move, Romeo and I had gone our separate ways again and this time for good. He was spending all his time with this female who treated him horribly and was abusive. I couldn’t trust him anymore since he would spend all his free time with her and after a fight we had where he told me he loved me but not what’s inside me, I knew from right there he was NOT the man for me and would never be.
After all of that, my depression began spiralling out of control. I didn’t even know what to do with myself. I remember I turned to God and prayed, which I used to do all the time whether my situation was good or bad. I prayed every day for help with overcoming it and meeting a man who loved me for me and is accepting.
I started to slowly feel better about myself as time went on and throughout the rest of my pregnancy. I felt great and excited but still scared I was going to be giving birth alone. Romeo made a promise that he would be there when I gave birth and I remember my mom being so angry with him on the phone because he tried to back out.
As my friend, he knew he made a commitment and should stick to it especially since I was always there for him. He eventually came after my mom said you made a promise and you better keep it. However, a few hours after I gave birth, my mom had gone home to shower and get some sleep and said she would be back in the morning. Romeo had told her he would be there all night but too bad he lied. He received a phone call on MY phone from that same abusive female saying if he didn’t leave me and go back to her house she would commit suicide.
I noticed him trying to leave and he said don’t worry, I will be back. Again, I could not trust him, especially since he took his bag with him. I already knew he wasn’t coming back. A month went by and I found myself on the dating site with plenty of fish. Usually I would go on these sites from time to time to make a few new friends to distract myself from my anxiety and depression, but I would never really date anyone or even meet them because online dating freaked me out.
It was about August and my son was 2-months-old. I remember getting a bunch of random messages from men of all ages and of course they were all asking for sex so I ignored it. There was one message, however, that was super sweet so I clicked on his profile and read a bit about him. I became very skeptical because of his ethnicity. Turned out he was of Ghanaian descent and since my son’s father was Ghanaian as well, I already thought, "Nope, I am done with this ethnicity. I would rather try something else."
Then I read further down his profile and noticed he was a musician and again I got hooked, so I messaged back. We began talking and getting to know one another, then he asked to meet up. That automatically freaked me out but I decided to take him up on his offer BUT on one condition. I told him we had to video chat on Skype so I could see that he was a real person.
Not only was he a real person but he was a real sweetheart and so cute. I told him I had church the next day and if he wanted to come, he could. He was nervous but excited to meet me and come to church since he hasn’t been in a very long time. When I met him at the bus stop, I noticed he wore a suit and was dressed better than I was. He complimented me, gave me a hug after he asked permission to do so, and I was already hooked.
We enjoyed the church service together and went to Moxies for lunch. This became a weekly thing and by the third date, he had already met my son unintentionally. I asked my mom if she would watch him for a couple hours so I could hang out with Jaybear more and she said she was tired. I got my son and headed downstairs from my apartment and we hung out in the game room.
He told me he had never held a baby before and I asked him if he wanted to hold him. When he held my son, they smiled at each other and I could tell that he instantly fell in love with him. I began telling him my story of his father when he asked where he was and by the end of the conversation, he said he wanted to be his father despite him already having one. I was shocked by this but also happy to hear someone I never knew who genuinely wanted to be there for me and my child.
A few weeks later (on September 24, 2016 to be exact) I told him I was ready to be his girlfriend. He had asked me out a week after we met but I told him I wasn’t ready and although I was going to wait until December, I decided not to wait. Within the month of meeting, we just grew closer and closer and sure enough he ended up finding an apartment near my home about five minutes away walking distance. My family instantly fell in love with him when they met him because he was so well-mannered and a sweetheart. About a few weeks after we met, he bought me a promise ring to show that he really cared about my child and I and hoped someday he would get to show me just how much he loved us.
It was nice to know he wasn’t looking for sex or anything from me besides love. As the time went on, we grew closer and closer and by February 2017 after talking about expanding our family, we got pregnant with our first child together. Everything just seemed so perfect up until we released the pregnancy news. Then things began to get rough…
To Be Continued…