Finding Love

by Haden M. 7 months ago in single

Dating Struggles

Finding Love
Photo by Verne Ho on Unsplash

While working the other day, an older coworker asked me if I had a boyfriend. I told her no, and she then proceeded to tell me that I better hurry because my timer is ticking. She told me I wouldn't be young and pretty forever...

I am 24 years old, and dating has never been a priority for me because I have so many other things to worry about. While her statement is obviously not true and very rude, I can't help but think about it, and I am sure I am not the only girl who has been told this before.

Why is it so important for me to find a husband? Do I even want to get married? To be honest, my longest relationship was for 6 months, and I ended things with them because I wasn't ready for anything serious.

I never really dated in high school because I saw it as pointless if it wasn't for marriage, and high school sweethearts are rare. As I get older, I now see dating as more and more serious. I don't want to waste anybody's time, so I'd rather just have "friends" that fill the void until someone I actually like comes along.

People say I have a fear of commitment, but I don't see it that way at all. I just don't want to commit unless it is someone I really like, which I have yet to find. I might not ever get married, but that has always been fine with me.

However, comments like, "your time is running out" make me panic a little bit. Despite me knowing that dating is not a priority to me, it makes me feel like I am going to be an outcast.

It makes me feel bad for not wanting the same thing as everyone else, and that is not okay. I want to live my life and have fun, and I shouldn't be made to feel worthless because I am not committed to anyone.

Why is it anyone else's business if I end up alone, and why do I have to find love while I'm young? People get married at older ages all the time. People get divorced and find love with other people in their 40's, 50's, 60's, and older.

I can find love at an older age. I just don't want a divorce in between now and that real love.

I think it is ridiculous that people think a woman has to find love at a younger age or they will never find love. It is ridiculous for people to think we have to have a relationship at all.

Love is hard, and yes, it would be nice to find it. However, I am independent enough to live my life with or without love. I have love in other aspects of my life with friends and family. Dating is not a necessity for anyone, and I don't need a boyfriend or girlfriend to prove I am worth something. We should all be aware of our independent worth.

These older generations still hold these traditional values to a certain extent, and they expect millennials and gen Z to do the same. However, women have been fighting for centuries to be able to do what they want to do.

It is not a negative thing for women to be traditional and be the stay at home mom that cooks and cleans assuming that they chosen that life. However, it is wrong for a more traditional woman to make others feel as though they should also live that lifestyle.

I don't want to be a stay at home mom. I need to move constantly. I don't have a need to get married or find love, for I am extremely independent. If I do find love, I need someone equally as independent, which is hard to find.

This doesn't mean my life will be lonely and awful. If I don't find love now at the age of 24, it doesn't mean I won't find it when I am 40 years old.

I just want to live my life and figure myself out. People like my coworker have no right to tell me that I am living my life wrong. There is no right way to live life, and we should all be able to make our own choices as long as they don't harm anyone else.

A relationship does not prove anyone's worth. Everyone should be able to define their worth without a relationship, and no one should be able to tell you otherwise. It is 2020 and time to get out of this traditional mindset.

single
Haden M.
Haden M.
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