Figures 🤷

Have you ever fallen so deep for someone that you'd give your all to them? Then there are always those who don't reciprocate the same energy that you give. I was so in love with someone that I didn't see all of the signs that they were as toxic as black mold. They would say sorry every time they hurt me and think that was enough to keep me around. I hated love so much because the one that I loved was killing me instead of making me grow. I would go all out so that he would see how I felt and it was always a dead attempt for a dead lover. Eventually I began to change and the changes were not positive. I begin to retreat more to myself. I noticed that I was being mean to my friends. I would yell more when I used to be quiet, and lash out when I didn't mean it all because my heart was broken. I didn't see that I had become bitter and broken, and it was rubbing off on my kids and that's something I never wanted. When I heard figures, it made me realize that what he was doing was ultimately killing me. Making me lose friendships that I never wanted to lose. I begin to play this and slowly gain my confidence back. I begin to slowly get back to the regular me. The me, that was killed as a flower dries in the sun. I slowly started getting back the friendships to the bridges that I burned. I let go of the guy who didn't love me, and that seemed to be one of the hardest things I've ever done but it was very needed. I asked forgiveness of the ones who I hurt, and I asked my little ones to forgive me for not being a good example to them. It's crazy how one song can completely open your eyes. If it wasn't for this song I will still be stuck in a dead relationship that was poisoning my heart. I completely started over with myself and taught myself how to guard not only my heart, but to guard my peace. I allowed him to disrupt my peace for so long that I forgot what peace even felt like, and childddddd did it feel good. My hair started growing back, my health got better, opportunities started pouring like floods to a river. This goes to say that music is very important. When an artist writes a song that comes from their heart, people who have experienced similar pain can actually get help and find relief from what they are going through. I myself write music in my spare time and will be releasing it on YouTube to help people who have gone through things that I have gone through. I am a single mom who has survived homelessness, domestic violence, my ex breaking in and setting my home on fire, my finding out I have an autoimmune disease and losing my car. I have survived so much, and if Jessie Reyez's song can completely change me for the good, that's what I want to do for others. Its too many cases with people, especially the younger generation, commiting suicide and ending others lives. If I can make a difference, even if it's to save one life, I want to do it. Figures have been a big inspiration. The impact from that song has helped me gain my strength so that I can be a better mother as well as a better person. I encourage anyone who feels stuck in a toxic relationship to listen to that song.