Fear of Heights

Nathan tried loosening me up by first taking me to a wine bar. I ordered the Merlot (reminding myself too much of my mother as I did so) while Nate settled for a Sprite with a splash of vodka. It wasn’t even noon, and already we were hitting the hard stuff. I should have known better before I agreed to this endeavor.

“Come on, Kat,” Nate said, nudging me with his shoulder. “I told you I would take you on the best first date you’ve ever had. Don’t you trust me?”

I had known Nate for a few months—we took the same philosophy classes at the state university—but it was only recently that he had made his intentions toward me known. Usually I didn’t date friends, as there was often too much room for drama, but Nate was at least someone who could make me laugh for real (because I had faked humor all too often in the days of boyfriends past). And he had a nice smile, always a plus.

“And you thought you would get me on a plane to go skydiving?” I laughed and shook my head. “Come on, man. You would have had better luck at trying to get into my pants.”

At first the comment seemed to brush over him without effect, until I saw the way the tips of his ears grew pink. I bit back my smile as I took a sip of my wine.

And of course he pretended like he hadn’t heard what I said. He was a bit dodgy, this one.

“You really won’t consider it?” he asked, throwing me his puppy-dog look that had already convinced me to go to seedy bars and overcrowded clubs. “I mean, I gave a down payment for the day, so I was hoping…”

He trailed off expectantly, like I was going to say yes just because he guilted me into it.

“You should have run it by me first,” I said. “I don’t do well with surprises.”

“Well, I see that now,” he muttered.

“Maybe you would have been better off with a movie date instead,” I said cheerily, and he scowled at me.

“Would I have fared better with ziplining?” he asked aloud, and I almost treated it as a rhetorical question until he looked at me for an answer.

“Nope,” I said, saying the word with a pop to the sound. “I don’t even go on rooftops because I get woozy.”

“Dammit,” he said, and I nearly laughed.

“Better luck next time, bud.” This time, I was the one to nudge his shoulder with mine.

He eyed me like I had just revealed a secret to the universe. “Next time? Will there be a next time?”

I considered thoughtfully as I swished around my wine glass. “This isn’t a baseball game,” I said, “so it’s not like the whole ‘three strikes and you’re out’ deal.”

“So I have more than three chances to get things right?” he asked, voice a tad too hopeful. It was then that I realized Nathan might like me a bit more than I liked him; that was always a girl’s dream when it came to a boyfriend, right? But if that was the case, why did I feel a tightening in my chest, like I had done something wrong?

“Well, it’s not like you can redo a first date,” I replied. “And, who knows, I might ghost you after today.”

“We see each other every Tuesday and Thursday for class,” he said. “Even if you blocked my number, I’d still see you twice a week.”

“Not if I skip class. Or drop the class. Anything could happen.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Would you do that? Really?”

I pretended to think about it for a few moments. “I hope I don’t bring out your inner stalker.”

But Nathan wasn’t laughing. His eyes were totally devoid of humor as he stared at me. “Be serious, Kat. Do I still have a shot with you or not?”

I felt my heart flutter in my chest as he continued to look at me; finally I just had to break eye contact. My cheeks felt like they were on fire, and it wasn’t just because of the wine so early in the day. “I guess that depends,” I said. “I mean, if you’re that serious about me.”

I could still feel the weight of his stare; it was unnerving, but not necessarily in a bad way. “Do you think I would have spent three hundred dollars on this stupid skydiving thing if I wasn’t serious about you?”

My mouth dropped. “You spent what?” That was more than I made in tips doing food delivery most weeks.

This time, he was the one to look away. “I thought you liked stuff like this,” he said. “You’re such a daredevil when you’re with your friends.”

“Okay, going on a simulated ride at Universal Studios is a far cry from leaping out of an airplane to your doom,” I said.

“You would have had a parachute,” he said. But I just shook my head.

“Before you get any grand ideas for next time, you should consult with me first. I’ll give you a pass/fail grade on your suggestions.”

“So there is going to be another date,” he said, and he actually sounded relieved.

“How about I take the reins next time? Maybe I can push you out of your comfort zone.”

This time, I didn’t even try to avoid Nate’s gaze. His eyes were intense—and easily his most striking feature, with the green flecks standing out in his hazel eyes (probably thanks to the sunny day we were having). “What do you have in mind?”

I couldn’t help the grin pulling at my lips. “For one, we might need a shopping day because, last I checked, it wasn’t back in style to have ripped jeans.”

“Oh, now you’re trying to get me out of my clothes, Kat?”

Oh. So he could play the flirtation game too when he felt like it. I guess he wasn’t as shy as I had always placed him.

“Maybe,” I said, taking some courage from the tang of wine on my tongue. “If that’s your idea of a fun date.”

“I wouldn’t say no, if that’s what you want to know.”

Duly noted. We were learning more and more about each other all the time. Maybe this first official date of ours wasn’t such a bust after all.

I swallowed the last bit of my wine. “So what do you want to do now? We’ve got the whole day to ourselves.”

“Sounds like the start of some trouble,” he said.

And when he looked at me then, I felt my stomach give a little flip. It felt just like I had just experienced the fall in a roller coaster ride—and maybe skydiving wouldn’t have been too far off of a feeling either.

I cleared my throat. It was now or never. “Let’s go back to my place. This date isn’t over until I say it is.”

Nate drained the rest of his glass, the remaining ice cubes clinking together at the bottom. “Lead the way, dear Katherine.”

I may have had a fear of heights, but I still felt like soaring just from seeing that smile on his face.

Even without the skydiving, it was still a date to remember.