fateless

Your fear poisons me. Something like breathing in the fog and letting dust collect in my lungs. The promise was betrayed by the weakness of these bones. I linger in their madness to a point of breaking. No longer able to hold back this disaster must begin. I suffocate in hatred as I rise with the flames. You see me as a monster and in this you project death upon us. I watch timelines die. It is horrific and it reminds me that the loneliness is real. It will not go away and it can not be stopped for it is the truth of this realm. I seek the ability to devour the lack of me. I find collections of memories that feel empty and I let them mock me for the emptiness I feel. I failed you for I failed myself in not trying anymore.

I never was good at forgiving and I surely have not taken the time to practice newly developed reflections. Do yourself a favor and sever the ties that bind you. I do not want to face the things I have done wrong because I would have to speak the truths of a man who belonged in the ground. The pieces of me who always truly knows and hates the feeling of the gun at my head demanding I explain myself. I am tired of keeping you like a prisoner. We bang our heads against stories that go no where at all.

As the truth unfolds within the thoughts focused into existence I find the depths of my essence speaking. So we have begun the chain of events that will lead to growth through the uncomfortable noise and clutter. It will be sorted out. This is truly inevitable. Like observing a storm coming and preparing for its destruction that leads to a rebirth. It is all around me.

Drenched in napalm I have become the fire of the earth. As the ocean calls to me with siren songs of a way out I know I can not walk into the ocean. For the path I have chosen must be seen to completion. The only way is through. It is the mantra of two brothers who refused to be drowned by the bloodline. It is the mantra of a fire rising.

The screeching of the dead as they burn haunts me. Day dreams of the ones left behind feel like chains pulling at my throat. See I have been digging a hole believing it was for me. The truth has revealed itself to me. I see the fate of the one who will reside here. A hole in the earth waiting to consume. I have to conquer the understanding of this rabbit hole I call self. I have to be relentless in my search of silence and balance. I will lose people and places. I have already died a hundred times. Fate less and infinitely returning to the conquest. My heart is the war drum setting the pace. The frigid air feels like venom as I inhale into my lungs. Where it fuels the forge and the empire. As my truth surfaces I must let go of all the anchors from past and present. I can not remain here in the bottom of this pit.

I desecrate the duality. I crucify the paradigm of my youth. It murders the self and the identities created by my desperate mind. So it's coming out from the shadows and out into the light. I am everything and nothing at all. In this the illusion is observed. In this I rise.

I'm tired of the game we play. The insanity in denial and fear. I do not belong here and neither do you. I have stopped dragging the dead horse. You will find if you seek within yourself how beautiful your soul is. As above so below. I can only see the reflections of fear in those eyes. I am no longer a mirror for people to see their light. I am dissolving into the red lights and when the now is all I truly acknowledge I will find the infinite one. The one they call love.