Fated Connection

A look, a quick text, a smile in a moment, and a passive friendship that lasted for over a decade. There was an innocence of quietly noticing a hint of something more, something fated in the stars and greater than the two of us.

Life happens, and when we are open to it - it can lead to beautiful outcomes.

Though definitely not intentional, as life fell apart to fall together, somehow, we found each other. He is a man that suffered loss and trauma, and I am a woman struggling with much of the same, but both secretly believing in love, believing in second chances, and surrendering to the independence of happiness within themselves.

It’s not easy navigating through the newness of a relationship when holding on to the past. It’s not easy guarding hearts in the fear of being vulnerable to someone else – scared to show the intimate and painful gullies of the ugly pain that we so neatly locked away in a box inside our heart. Somehow, this feels different, it feels unique, it feels safe, it feels exciting, and it feels like home.

I am just opening the door a crack and reaching for his hand in hopes he will grab it. Strangely, I am sure he will - I do not have a question he won’t. I am surrendering to the possibility of finally reaching a level of happiness and believing that we deserve it – that’s a hurdle for only the strong. We are individuals that have suffered much sadness. We are individuals who love beyond measure and give from the nature of our soul. We are individuals who have a lot of life left and possibly the best years yet to come.

Could it be? Have we learned from the mistakes of our past? Have we understood the intensity of love that God is presenting us - the gift, and blessing He is allowing us to experience at this stage of our life? Will people question this union? Will we break under the criticism of others? Will we forget past loves that shaped our hearts, and gave us amazing moments and memories? Time will tell..

I can only say with certainty as I write these words that I am committed to living. I committed to feeling love uninhibited and free. I am investing in being with someone who shares my beliefs - who inspires me to be a better person. I am opening my heart to be vulnerable and sexy. He looks at me like I am the most beautiful woman in the room, and he encourages me to go after my passions.

He understands my pain and allows me to feel his. He reassures me when I am hard on myself and partakes in knowing all of me. He is excited to see me no matter what I look like and anxiously plans for the next day because he can’t go a day without seeing me. He holds my hand without asking – he hugs so tight from around my back when he senses I need it. He his generous beyond measure and asks for nothing in return. He promises to love my children and wants to share his life and children with me. He dances in the kitchen and loves to see me smile. He is adventurous and so damn fun!

We have known each other for a decade, but this relationship is new. This relationship feels right. This relationship is something we both deserve. I am outwardly allowing myself to be happy instead of living in fear of the other shoe dropping. Life could blow up, circumstances could break us apart, but we are taking a leap of faith.

I may have found my partner in life after years of struggle – I may have found my best friend, lover, and confidant.

Perseverance has proven to work – I never gave up and neither did he.

In a life that is full of negativity and struggle, laughter and love find their way to a broken open heart.