Falsely Hoping

Life is fickle. It gives you so much happiness and then takes that happiness away in the worst moment, causing so much pain. Love is also like this; the giving and giving, taking and taking. More and more, you give and take and go back and forth, round and round.

Life and love, they go hand in hand. You live and you love. It’s amazing how much everything goes together in this world. It’s when you take though and you continue to take so much that eventually you drown the other person that you are supposed to love.

While they may still live, they watch as you take from them, stealing their essence of life, draining them of everything that makes them a person, and turning them into something you want.

Occasionally it causes a feeling of hatred. The abhorrence a person feels develops into deeper emotions and soon they realize the love they felt for you has turned into something they do not understand and it turns into confusion.

While it may seem easy to not give to the person you are supposed to love, you will grow to realize as time passes and you continue to live with them by your side or not, that you are alone. Utterly and completely alone.

Below is a tale heard time and time again. Love given freely and yet not returned. Hearts shattered. It goes without saying that once you break a heart, did you really ever deserve it when there are so many others out in world more deserving?

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You know, you broke her heart. Sure, she wasn't the prettiest girl nor was she the smartest, but she loved you and she was there and she tried, and you didn't see it.

You told yourself you were better off single while she sat off to the side listening to you rant and talk about how unfair everything was in this world; she was there for you for almost everything and tried her hardest, but she knew she wasn't perfect; she knew this imagined life with you was impossible, but she kept on hoping that there would be a day you realized you loved her and wanted to be with her for the rest of your life. She realized eventually though that her hopes were never going to see fruition and that she was better off without you despite the intense emotions she felt.

You wanted her everyday, yearned for her even, but you didn't see how much her heart was breaking because of what you were wanting her for. She quit hoping for a dream that was you, and left town for something better.

You never saw her again nor heard from her and you wondered why until a good friend of yours told you how much she was in love with you, but had realized you would never return her love so she left. You didn't know how to feel and it didn't really hit you hard until you found out a year later that her body had been found in a burnt abandoned building she had been exploring (because that was something she loved to do).

When you discovered this, you couldn't leave your bed for days. You laid there in the same spot staring at the ceiling for countless hours wondering how it never hit you how much you had taken her for granted, and now that she was gone, of course you would realize there was love you felt; you were in love with her and she was gone.

But did you deserve her? If time could go back to when you both first met, would you change what happened or would you repeat the same actions from before and lose her all over again?