False Affection

by j r 2 years ago in love

From one side.

False Affection

Once upon a time, I fell in love with the wrong person.

I know that starting this off with that is pretty heartbreaking, but the reality is, life is heartbreaking at times. Imagine being with someone for months and slowly falling in love with them. You’ve slowly fallen in love with their eyes, their smile, their hair, the way they walk, the way they talk, even the way they smell. You slowly but surely fall in love with their personality, and their brain, and what they have to say about the world, and for a moment...for those months’ worth of moments you think you’ve found your serenity, your happiness where everything lies sane, when out of no where it all crashes. You’re no longer falling slowly, you’re falling reckless, and it’s not in love, it’s out. You are now falling out of love in hyper speed, and as much as you try to ignore it, it’s a race you can’t and won’t win. See you’ve fallen in love with the wrong person, and you don’t even know why. Was it the annoying way they chewed their food? Was it their obnoxious views on your friends? Was it you? Or was it them?

Months and months of love, and affection, and endearment gone to waste over the loss of the one thing that kept the connection alive… love. And this doesn’t just happen out of no where, it’s a long term feeling that you overlook until it eats at you so much you just can’t anymore. You’re laying in bed now full of doubt. Doubting everything you’ve ever said to them and doubting everything they’ve ever said to you. The only thing that remains is the termination of something sweet that’s gone rotten. It’ll hurt them, a lot, but some way, some day, some how they’ll understand, and although you’ll leave them broken, they’ll glue themselves back together as one…

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Once upon a time, I fell.

No matter how many novels you read about romance, or how many chick flicks you watch, nothing will ever be able to prepare you for the heartache you feel when the person you love…loved tells you that they’ve fallen out of it. You’ve fallen in love with someone who seems to just out of no where lose all sorts of love for you. You lay in bed wondering everything you’ve done wrong. Did they not like the way I smiled? Was it my voice? Was it my hair? Maybe my personality sucks. Maybe they fell in love with someone better than me? You keep those thoughts in the back of your head for a while, as you walk with a smile on your face dreading every time the two of you cross paths. They expect that after they’ve broken you, that you’ll glue yourself together and you’ll be brand new. But some way, some day, some how I will move on, and find someone new, but I will always remember when the person who used to say “I will never leave you” left me broken like a pile of glass…

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