Falling in & out of LOVE

I lost everything that day, my purse, phone, jewelry, TV, boots and even my car; but the only thing I cared about losing was him. My entire life changed June 20th 2019 and I would’ve never believed you if you said it’d end like this. The US Marshals and Copley police kicked our hotel room door in and nothing has been the same since. We were taking to Summit county jail and that was the last time I would see him face to face for the next year and a half. I served a total of 10 days in Summit county until my bail was posted and I was taken to Columbiana county for missing court and served 14 days. Then the story begins.

I’m free but still feel sad lost and alone. What was the point of being free if he wasn’t? What am I going to do? Where am I going to go? How am I going to do this without him? I had no clue what my next step was and without him I didn’t want to take one. I cried a lot started numbing the pain the best way I knew how but still I hurt. I was so messed up that I fooled around with a couple guys searching for the cure to this heartbreak. It didn’t last long til I woke up and realized I was self destructing and that was getting me nowhere. So even though the pain was intense I put all my energy into making sure he was taken care of. I put money on his books answered his calls at least four times a day. Went to his court dates hired an attorney because I needed him home as soon as possible. I kept myself so busy and high that the time started passing by a little faster.

I met Destiny in July or August of 2019. A young girl looking for her place in the world. I remember saying to her, I don’t do girls, they are annoying and I’m not use to hanging out with them. She didn’t seem to care. She started hanging out with me, my co-pilot and right hand man.I swear she was the missing part of my brain because she always had what I needed and never forgot the important shit. We were best friends very quickly. She was by my side from dusk til dawn and dawn til dusk lol! We were inseparable. I was a little overwhelmed by her at first but soon enough she had grown on me. We snuggled,we laughed, we cried, we ate lots and lots of Icecream. She helped me get through those lonely days that I thought would never end. She listened to me fall apart when he didn’t call for a day and listen to me bitch about his latest freak out. She helped me raise money to get him an attorney and talk about him 24/7.

This continued but we crossed the line a few times before I realized, I LOVE HER! It was a bad day her and I were fighting and she left, or I left her in Salem, either way I was done with her drama, but wait....why do I feel so alone without her? Why does my heart feel so heavy in my chest? There’s no way I could possibly live her, I had found my twin flame, he was in prison and no one could ever take his place. Or so I thought but still I wanted her there with me. We starting dating with the understanding that the day he got out, her and I were just friends, period. I told her that no matter what, he would always win. He was my twin flame .

The day came November 8th 2020, he’s on his way! Destiny was going to stay at our friends heartbroken and I felt bad. The crazy part was, I didn’t feel excited, I was sad that she was gone and not so sure I wanted her to be. Seeing him was different, I was uneasy unhappy and uncomfortable. Do I really love her? That’s when it all started to make sense, this whole time I’d been fighting her telling her she wasn’t my twin flame but I was wrong. She was the one the hole time. I never ment for this to happen, never wanted to hurt anyone but I couldn’t lie to myself anymore, I had to be with her. It wasn’t easy and after many failed attempts of ruining my life, he finally let go and I grieved for him no more.

Sometimes the best things come from the worst days! Sometimes what you dreamed of for so long is standing right beside you! Thank you Destiny for being my rock, for putting up with all my bullshit and never giving up on me. I can’t wait to spend forever with you! Will you marry me?