Falling For a Faceless Stranger

We often find exactly what we're looking for when we stop looking for it, or so the old adage goes.

2017. I found you among thousands of English learners in a language exchange app. Or, truly, you found me.

After months of making and losing Korean-English learning partners, some romantic, some not, I had nearly given up on the app entirely. One day, I received a message from someone. A small greeting.

"Hello."

I looked at the sender's profile. No photo. The age listed as 23. How could I really know, though? Is he actually 80? Does it really matter, if we're both only looking for a friend?

You were a student, like me. You were studying accounting and computer programming in Korea. You were shy.

After some time, we sent photos of our daily lives. For you, a river that ran along your route from home to school. The trees. The water. Your school. Responses from me were pictures of myself, my cat, my school, the sky.

You were respectful. You never once fell into the well known pattern of an online friend who wanted to get to know me through the lens of a camera pointed at my body.

You talked me through a break up with my first real boyfriend. You were constant. The sound of a notification from you became as expected as day turning into night.

I'm not sure exactly when it happened. When, even without knowing your face, I felt like you were someone special.

One day, you sent me a photo. Finally.

You looked like a bit of a goober, actually. Parrot perched on your shoulder, there was something adorable about how bad your selfie was. I thought, 'Oh. He's kind of cute, isn't he?'

"Can we call?" you asked. You'd begun gaining courage.

"Can we video call?" you asked later. Your courage had grown but mine had dwindled. My hands shook in hot excitement when we video called for the first time.

You were much more handsome than your photo let on.

How could you be interested in me? Were you still, after seeing me for the first time?

We video called every day. You admitted that you thought I was cute. I was dumbfounded.

Warmth spread between us. A sweet, hot fog filling our lungs and our insides. I couldn't help but to topple into a vortex of you.

"Can we meet?" you asked, eventually.

Uncertainty took my hand, then. You never really knew what I looked like from anything other than a close-up photo with controlled angles. My body. Could you like my overweight body?

Would I regret not taking the chance? Could I afford to let it pass me by?

I decided then, even if you rejected me, I would try. I had to try.

You bought the ticket. I anxiously waited.

How could I have known, as I waited for you at the airport, what would happen next?