Faith and Love; He was Everything in a nothing world

Author note: this is the Forth chapter of my original draft that I completed over ten years ago. It has multiple chapters, and it’s unfinished as of now. Hope you enjoy!! The original name of “Josh” was Noah. He is still the same character, just with very small variations.

Here’s the story I revised and published on Vocal, a much more condensed version of this longer story.

****

I thought about Al and I’s conversation over and over in my mind as I rode on the bus.

It was the first time someone close to me has every mentioned sexuality, and it made me unquestionably uncomfortable. It wasn’t because it was Al, no, if it was anyone else but Al, I would have not even tried to discuss it.

I thought of the Vietnam war and all the protests going on, and the so called Hippies and revolutionaries who believed in peace, free love and drugs. They did whatever they wanted in order to ‘find their true self’ or so forth. It reminded me of when my father and I had our first argument. It was during middle school, and I believe I was in the seventh grade.

One day when my father was talking at the dinner table he was telling us about the Hippies and how they were ruining our countries image.

Mother had made homemade macaroni and cheese and oven fried chicken with sautéed mixed vegetables. Everything was very good, so good in fact, Al and I were quietly and steadily eating our meals without a word.

“How was the job, dear?” My mother asked quietly, her brown eyes locked into father’s stern amber ones. My father was also a part time electrician and did side jobs every now and then, a trade he learned from his uncle and father. His father had owned a small business called Elbridge Heating Incorporated and passed it down to my father when he passed away years ago, but it was a slow business and he didn’t get much work, so he got a second job at the Davenport hotel for added security. The job stuck, and now he was manager for the hotel.

“It went fine, as usual. Just the place was full of delinquents and hippies.” My father said under his breath. “Couldn’t stand the smell in there, it was a little too ripe of smoke, it made me nauseas.”

“Oh, dear,” Mother commented softly. “Did it make it hard to concentrate on what was going on?”

“Well, I had to go into the basement to inspect their heater, it had stopped working, so they called me as an emergency since it seemed I had the fairest price. It wasn’t too bad down there, just dirty.”

“What was wrong with it, dad?” Al asked suddenly.

He smiled at Al. “Well, firstly there was a lot of dust and dirt built up within the thermostat so it became faulty, because of that there was no contact and it caused a loss of power.” He paused to have a drink of water. “I shut everything down and cleaned it up, replaced the fuse and checked the circuit breaker as well. That fixed it right up, and I was out of there, thank goodness.”

I nodded at him. “What was with the hippies?” I said with a slow smirk. He grimaced at me and I started to take a bite of his vegetables.

“They think they know what liberty is.” He said shortly. “As I was working down there, I heard them all yelling, things like, ‘Oh no, we won’t go!’ and ‘Get our boys home!’…protesting as they were listening to the radio about the news in Vietnam. Kids today have no respect for anything. Don’t they realize that if it weren’t for our forefathers fighting and dying, we wouldn’t even have the right to say anything, much less have protests?!” He took a swig of water again, and started eating again.

“They just want to have peace.” I said.

“You can’t have this country’s people looking like a bunch of silly little lily-livered tyrants; parading themselves in their scantily clad, colorful clothing, their talk of open love or whatever it is. It is all foolhardy and sinful.” He said with a testing impatience. “It’s a short step to a God-less nation, where hippies have their love fests and sleep with whomever they please, never mind the consequences. It makes us look like immoral hoodlums.”

Mother sighed. “Would any of you boys like seconds?”

“No thank you, honey.” Father said softly to her. Al shook his head.

“Love fests?” I said with a sarcastic humor. “That sounds gross.” I sniggered.

Al cut in, “Shush it, Ben.”

Father gave me a harsh look. My face became still and I shut up. “This is why we go to church every Sunday. It is a family day to learn about our lord, and the truth of our nature. It is wrong to lose sight of that, and we need to be in constant scrutiny of ourselves, lest we be tempted by cruelty, fear or worse. If we think that certain things are okay, then we will fall in deeper into sin, and make it harder to see the light.”

“I do agree with you to a large extent, dad, but how can we be happy with life if we are always criticizing and demoralizing ourselves all the time?” I asked suddenly, and as soon as I said it, I shut up. He looked positively fuming at me.

“Because,” He started, looking at me with a concentrated look of wise anger, “in this life, you have two choices, to be with God, or not.”

I was so mad when he said that, I stood up at the table. “No, I don’t think that’s true. God forgives people, even if they aren’t with them. What about the tribes in Africa who are uneducated and have no access to information, and they cannot find out about God. Then what, dad? Are they to blame?”

“Sit down, son!” He said to me with a fury I could not withstand, so I sat down quickly.

“You are a troublesome little mouse, Ben. You need to keep your temper in check, I promise you it will help you in the long run.” He sighed. “And as for the African dilemma, that is what Missionaries are for. They go to those desolate and uneducated places for just that reason.”

I shut up the rest of the time, and my mother gave Al an incredulous look across the table, and said meekly, “Who wants dessert?”

I replayed the scene in my head and I chuckled. It was interesting to remember it, for me, as I was riding to see Noah.

But it was a temporary relief to the reality of my bigger problems.

Noah.

He didn’t believe in God, but he didn’t deny His existence either. Was that just as bad as being against God?

I had always believed it to be so. But it made it harder to say yes when I thought of sweet, brilliant Noah.

He cared about others, and he was a good person.

I wish I would have had the guts to talk about Noah with Al, or even with Marisol.

But I got the feeling that Marisol wouldn’t have understood me, and came to the wrong conclusions.

She was lovely, no doubt, and sometimes when I kissed her… it sent me on edge, my heart palpitating in my chest, and I would want her so much, to be with her. But in all the time I knew her, we never did anything, only kissed, held hands, and, once I had taken off her bra, and I was nervous even then.

I wanted it that way, since it was proper, and I had it in my mind that she was a lady and I treasured that about her.

I told her, before I left on the bus to Idaho, what had happened to Noah.

She had met Noah a couple of times, and they seemed to hit it off. Though it seemed to me, in a very odd way, that there was this almost undetectable rivalry. It seemed the other would look straight in the eye, challenging each other, to talk to me, to be close to me, to prove somehow who was more important.

It was probably just my imagination, but oh well.

She was wearing a beautiful blue dress and a lovely white sash around her waist that showed off her figure and we were outside, it was warm out and she looked worried about me.

I gave her the letter that Noah’s brother sent me and she read it, looking at it for a long time.

I think I kind of cried before I came to see her, and she noticed. “Ben, what’s wrong, love?”

“Marisol, I have some bad news.” I handed her the note. At first she didn’t take it, so I said, “My friend Noah got shot,” And she took it from me immediately.

“So you’re going to visit him, no doubt?” She looked over the note again and handed it over to me.

“Yeah, I’m leaving tonight.” She gave me a sad look. “But…But I’ll definitely be back on Sunday for church.” We went to the same church, and honestly, I loved the church we went to (we’ve been going as a family there for years). We got to sing hymns a lot and though I tried to hide my voice, I sang along to every song, and my voice was horrible, but I really enjoyed it a lot.

“Okay, dear. You let me know when you are back.” She got a little tense. “It’s already enough you can be a stick in the mud and stay home all the time, I can’t have you moving to another state. Even if Idaho is our neighbor.” She said, and it sounded a little indignant, but she tried to smile to not make me feel too bad.

“You know I always love being with you,” I paused and she put her hands on her hips. “Hey, when I come back, we’ll go on a date.” I said. “We can go dancing, if you like.”

She rolled her eyes, though she seemed excited by the premise. “You can dance, love?”

“Sure I can, just not very well.” I laughed.

She laughed a little and then she said, “Ben, were you crying earlier?”

“Yeah I was.”

“Because of Noah?” Her bright green eyes stared at me strangely.

“Well… I’m really worried. I just hope he will be okay.”

“Yeah, me too.” She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “You will be okay out there by yourself?”

“Of course I will.”

“You really care for the guy, don’t ya?” She asked me, and I didn’t say anything for a second, I didn’t know how to respond.

“Hun?” She asked me, her eyes not wavering.

Just then, I remembered Noah taking my hand, and it hit me suddenly like a falling ton of bricks.

“I care about him lot.” I said with an almost brazen honesty, and she smiled with a faraway poignancy that was in her eyes as well as her voice.

“Just know I care for you too, Ben.” She said clearly. I took her hands in mine, suddenly full of passion. I wanted her to know she was special to me.

“You are a treasure to me, Marisol… I will always care for you. You remember that.” I gave her a gentle kiss on those soft, pink lips, and she suddenly gave me a hug, wrapping her arms around me so tight I felt a part of her, almost suffocated.

She pulled away just then, and said, “Goodbye, love.”

“Bye, hun.” I said, and she went over to her bike and rode away, her black hair bouncing down the road.

--

“Post Falls, next stop!” The bus driver called out.

I was so lost in my memories I was dead to the world, and finally realized my stop was coming up. Everything that replayed in my mind felt wrong, sounded wrong, and I had wished that my mind was uncluttered, unfettered to tell the truth, whatever the truth may be. It pained me that I was unable to be honest with the people I loved and cherished the most. God was even stronger in my prayers at the very beginning, and I desired to understand this frustration, this passion, this feeling.

I kept telling myself that because Noah had been shot, my feelings of shock had led me to this strange predicament. My prayers and my devotion to God have always been extremely aligned with my life, and always helped me to make the right decisions in morality and in my relationships, but now, in a strange sort of shock, my heart and soul has led me only toward Noah, a loyalty and affection that runs deeply in my mind, in my very bones. It terrified me to be so close to Noah, because the degree of the affection was what startled me, and the fact that my prayers were so hard to explain, I felt lost to God, and that scared me more than anything. I was terrified, not for my body, but for my very soul. I was scared for Noah, too, because I didn’t want to have him have this horrible estrangement lurking in his life.

My heart was starting to feel light, and my stomach queasy with anticipation. It has been almost a year since I had seen him or talked to him in person.

I was hoping I hadn’t come too late and he had already been released. Even then, I could look his grandmother up in a phonebook and call up Noah to visit.

I got off the bus, and immediately felt how warm and beautiful it was outside. The air felt and smelled so fresh and clean, and the way it made me feel helped me to relax and more in control with my emotions. I looked at my wrist watch and it was about four in the afternoon, Friday. I had left my home about two hours previously, and it seemed so far away, even if it wasn’t.

I saw there was a gas station ahead, and a phone booth, so I decided to call a cab to drive me to the hospital he was at, Kootenai Medical Center. It was a good fourteen minute drive from Post Falls, so it cost me some of my emergency money, but I didn’t care. For the summer I worked along with my dad, learning his trade (as an electrician), I had saved up a good sum of money and had a couple of tens along with me for an emergency.

I felt oddly at ease being by myself, taking care of my own needs. It was thrilling, and new, and I liked this small taste of independence very much. Even though I was only going to be here for less than a day and two nights, it was very exciting, for me, since I have never left Washington. My family and I had been to Seattle, Washington once to visit my mother’s cousin Marie, as she was getting married. But that was it, and that was still within my own state.

As I got to the phone booth, I called the hotel to talk to my father, as promised to check in that I was okay.

It turned out that father wasn’t there, but I talked to the front desk and they would write him a note saying I had called and I made it without issue. They told me to maybe try in the morning, so I would.

I then called the hospital and dialed the extension to Noah’s room. My family never invested in telecommunications, so to call a friend, to me, was very foreign and strange. It was cool, though, to be able to talk to someone far away within a few minutes.

It kept ringing for a few moments and finally someone answered. “Hello?” A soft voice asked. It sounded raspy and low.

“Uh…hi, this is Benjamin. I’m Noah Jamison’s friend. I’m calling to see if Noah is still in this room.”

“Ben?” Then I heard a soft laugh. “Well, actually, this is Noah.”

I smiled immediately. “Noah! What the heck has happened to you! I can’t believe this…are you okay?” I felt stupid I couldn’t even think of anything polite to say, and kept spouting out whatever came to mind. “It’s good to hear you.” I amended.

“Wait, where are you calling from, Ben?” He laughed again. “And I’m doing fine.”

“I’m here! I’m in Post Falls right now!”

“Holy cow…” He laughed. “You sure surprised me, I thought this was a prank call.”

“No, I can see why you would think that since I don’t have telephone though.” I laughed; I was so nervous. “Can I come to see you now?”

“How long will you be here? Are you with someone else?”

“I will only be here until Sunday, and I am leaving early in the morning to be home in time for church. And I am alone.”

He whistled. “Wow, your father let you go alone?”

“Listen, Noah, I don’t have a lot of minutes, but I really want to see you.”

“Oh! I’m sorry… yes, please come. Visiting hours are until 8:30 pm so we will have a lot of time.”

“Okay, I will be there within twenty minutes or so.”

--

It was such a light and normal conversation we had under such dire and horrible circumstances, because of so many reasons. Not only had he not been able to come home, he had been shot and had been in the hospital all this time. Now, in my fear of losing my most loyal and devoted kinship, my thoughts and all of my memories of us together were cascading into these thick layers of fear, frustration, devotion and a certain passion that made me long to hold his hand again. To see his playful and brilliant smile, to hear his wonderfully authentic laugh and to once again look into those deep blue eyes. Those eyes that, from the very moment I saw them, intrigued me and had me jumbled inside. And these were the thoughts that truly made me think I was going to lose him.

On the cab ride, my mind was whispering to me… a voice that was slowly getting louder and louder, telling me to tell him these things, to ask him what I have been wanting to ask him all the time. My stomach became queasy and my heart was fluttery and felt out of sync with the rest of my body.

The problem was that I was never good at hiding my true emotions, and telling a lie rather than telling the truth to spare pain or embarrassment has never been my strong suit. Usually, as I might have mentioned before, when I am put into unfamiliar situations socially or romantically, I say exactly what is on my mind. I do not think before I speak, as my father would tell me often.

To calm myself, I thought of my music, my double bass, and my goal of joining the LA Philharmonic. I pictured myself in a large stadium or opera house in LA playing for hundreds of people, and me as the headliner, the star, the man who played with deft and grace… the man who-

“Here’s your stop, sir.” The gangly cab driver said suddenly with a slow stop.

I paid him and thanked him, and walked out with my small bag of clothes and other necessities, and my feet stayed stuck where they were. I was so damn nervous, I could barely stand it. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack, so I sat down for a minute.

Maybe I shouldn’t even say anything, I thought. Maybe he just held my hand because he was sad. I didn’t know.

A strange thought had come to my mind as well: Noah had never had a girlfriend. Not to mention that although it was obvious there were girls out there that wanted to go with him, he never took more than a causal interest in them, and never dated anyone. Then I thought of Marisol, my girlfriend of more than a half a year. There was no clarity in my emotions, just jumbles and scribbles, words and descriptions, but no coherency and not an ounce of logic.

I decided to let my thoughts dissipate into the backwaters of my mind, and I walked in finally, and I asked the attendant where Noah’s room was.

I got to the third floor where his room was at, and suddenly I saw John. He waved at me suddenly, and he gave me a small smile.

I came up to him and said hello. He nodded at me.

“How is he?” I asked.

“He’s making it. He is actually almost fully recovered.” He said. It was awkward, and I didn’t know what to say, and I could tell he wanted to leave. I knew he was just being polite by telling me, but that was all the niceness he was going to allow.

“Thanks for the letter.” I said and he nodded.

“Noah kept on bugging me about it.” He shrugged off and waved goodbye. “Get yourself a telephone.” He added.

“I will keep that in mind,” I said slightly sarcastic, and he rolled his eyes, walking away. When he was finally gone, I said in a whisper only I could hear, “Yo-yo boy.”

I opened the door with a soft knock and said, “Hello?”

“Ben?”

“Noah…” I called out to him, and walked over to the bed.

The room was brightly lit and the window was open, and suddenly I got an eyeful of Noah, his bright blue eyes- startlingly beautiful, I had to admit, and his face was weary and tired, but his smile had a slight playfulness that I had suddenly remembered full on from our days hanging out together.

“Ben! Boy, I was sure surprised when I heard your voice on the other line. It was like you were the Ghost of Christmas Past.”

“Did I give you a fright?” I said in an accent like I came from London. “Am I real enough for you?”

He eyed me carefully. “I think so, Ben. I think so.” He laughed softly, and laid his head back on the pillow.

I walked over to the bed. “I would have come a lot sooner, but I didn’t get the letter from your brother until a day ago.”

He rolled his eyes. “John is full of excuses and didn’t care. This whole incident isn’t too far in the past, as it happened about a week ago, but,” He sighed. “I couldn’t write because my arm was incapable of moving and it happened to be the arm I use to write with, my right one,” He pointed to the bandages around his shoulder, “It made it very difficult. And I forgot the name of the place your father worked…”

“The Davenport hotel.” I said automatically.

“Oh yeah, that kind of rings a bell.” He looked out the window. “Well, I would have called the place if I remembered and told your dad.”

I sat down in a chair next to him. I was happy he had his own room. It was private and I didn’t need to worry about other patients hearing in on our conversation.

“Where’s your dad?” I asked him.

“He is working but will be here in about two hours hours to see me.” He paused a moment and then frowned. “I know John didn’t tell you much of what happened or anything. I know you must have a lot of questions… just ask me.”

I smiled at him. “Noah, I am just grateful you are alive and well on the way to a full recovery. When are you leaving? Can you leave whenever you like now?”

“I am supposed to be scheduled for release within a few days.”

“That is good. You’ll come back to Spokane, then?”

“That’s the plan, man.” He said happily.

“How do you feel?” I asked him.

“Miserable. I hate it here, and I missed you a lot.” He sighed. “It has been way too long.”

My heart rate quickened, and I felt so at home with him. So at peace, all my previous confusion vanished.

“I’m so glad you came, I thought for awhile I would never see you again, with what us all staying here longer than my father wanted, his seemingly never-ending job and my overbearing grandmother and John taking up all my time… it was just so tiresome and without any sort of reconciliation. I’ve been meaning to ask you…” I looked up, and I felt worked up and suddenly full of hope. A hope that was indefinable and that felt so far away, but that very hope was stuck in my very heart and soul as he said it.

“Did you ever find our dog?”

The question made me blink and rethink my thoughts.

“Um, uh… I’m sorry. No, I didn’t.”

“Oh. John loved that dog.”

“I’m really sorry, I honestly was so caught up in everything at home, I didn’t get to look very well.”

He shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize, it was my brother’s responsibility to take care of Rex.”

We didn’t talk for a minute and I scooted the chair closer to him, the chair screeching against the floor.

“You really are inconspicuous, aren’t you?” He asked me, and smiled widely as he covered his ears. “They are going to kick you out…” He joked, laughing.

Suddenly, I saw Noah lean in toward my face and he gave me a funny look.

His hand brushed against my hair and he flicked at it with two fingers. “You’re hair looks like a wreck. It looks like a tornado hit you before you came here.” He laughed. “But then, as I remember, you never did care how it looked.”

“What are you, my mother?” I grumbled, and I knew that I was blushing. He didn’t mention it though, thankfully.

“No, but you should brush it. It would look nicer. I’m the one who should look bed-ridden, not you.” He teased me.

I smiled finally. “Well, Noah, not all of us can look like some Calvin Klein model as soon as they walk out of bed.”

“No, but you certainly do.” He teased me again. “Any model alive would die to have that hair!”

“Thanks, Noah, you sure know how to make a guy feel special.” I grumbled.

He laughed heartily, and it made me smile.

“So how in the world did you convince your parents to let you come here alone? They are very protective of you, and your dad is very disciplined as you have told me before.”

“I told them very clearly that I had every intention of going no matter what. Al wanted to come along, but my mother decided I was old enough to go. And let’s be honest here, It’s not like I am traveling across the country, it was only about an hour or so away from Spokane.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” He smiled. “You were so defiant to them?”

I shrugged. “I thought my father was going to backhand me at first, but he let my mom decide for once.”

“Well I am glad for your bravery.” He paused and took out something from a drawer. “I have something for you.”

“Oh, you do?” I asked and tried to peek at what he was getting.

“I know I missed your birthday and all so I got you a gift. I’m also sorry I only wrote you up until this January, I was really busy with school and I didn’t have the time. It’s not an excuse, but I wanted you to know. When I got shot, it was about a week ago, and I was in shock for a little bit.”

“My birthday is not a big deal. All that matters is that you are okay.”

“Here ya go.” He handed the wrapped square box toward me and I took it.

I opened it up and took off the lid of the box. It was a small book of classical symphony compositions and arrangements, and they were specific to stringed instruments, and of course, to the contrabass.

It was made out of this thick, soft creamy paper and was very beautiful and sturdy.

“Happy Birthday.”

I loved the gift so much, I placed it down next to me in its box and flew over toward the bed, embracing him.

My arms glided around his neck, and I held him close to me. It felt so incredibly relieving for me to hold him.

I pulled away a moment later, “Did I hurt your shoulder, or anything?” I asked him, sitting back down.

“No… you’re fine Ben.” He looked very relaxed and his cheeks were a light red.

“Thank you, it’s the second best present I have had today.” I said.

“What was the first?” He asked.

“To see you.” I said simply.

He laughed. “You’re corny, Ben, just like me.” He said good-naturedly.

My heart felt so warm, and I felt so relaxed, I wanted so badly to take his hand at that moment… to show him how much I cared.

But I didn’t.

“You’re welcome.” He sighed. “You give better hugs than my father, and he really gives big hugs. Like a big old bear squeezing the life out of you.” He said in jest, and I laughed.

He looked down for a moment and then at me again. “Where are you staying?”

“Oh… um. I’m not sure. My mother gave me some money for a hotel.”

“They really trust you, don’t they?” He asked in amazement.

“I suppose so.” I nodded.

“You’ll be okay, Ben? I wish you would have travelled with someone else.”

I shook my head. “I can take care of myself, old Noah, it will be fine.”

“Okay.” He said, but his face showed a strong level of worried frustration.

I touched his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll be just fine.” I reassured him.

“It’s just…” He started, and looked down.

“What?”

“Anything can happen, Ben. I could have died, but I didn’t. The robber didn’t aim to kill, he wanted to scare me, to scare all of us.” He laughed angrily. “Life has a funny way of placing us in absurd situations…”

I nodded. “You’re right.”

He grimaced deeply. “I have been trying to sort it all out, but in the end, I can’t follow my own beliefs…”

“What beliefs?”

“That nothing in life has a reason. That whatever happens to you is nothing but a series of events that hold no meaning except for that life is absurdity because of its amoral functionality, and that whatever happens isn’t because you were bad or good, it is just how nature is. I am trying not to understand what happened, because I just want to move on.”

“Life has meaning, Noah, I know you believe that. Everything in life has a purpose, and all of life is important. Human beings are special, they can love and grow and learn and achieve. If you give a situation a reason, it may be an illusion, but at least you aren’t trying to void out all worth and significance.”

“That’s true, but what I can’t seem to understand is how God would punish hundreds of mostly innocent people, if not hundreds of millions, by floods, storms and otherwise seemingly natural events. It frightens me, and I can’t grasp it.”

“God knows what is best for the world, and the people in it. You got to trust God. That’s why it is called faith, even when there is no proof, it’s in your very core, your heart, and it feels as truthful and real as my conversation with you right here and now.”

He smiled at me. “You are such a faithful person, Ben. I respect that.”

I felt so happy all of sudden to speak about God, it made me lose my confusion and depression that I was lost to Christ and God, and I felt good again about everything.

“For me, when I think about my beliefs, it rejuvenates me, makes me feel alive, really alive. I know that if we only give God a chance, and we learn and we trust-”

Just then, the door swung open and Noah’s father dashed in.

“Old Noah, how are you doing?” Noah’s father said buoyantly, his eyes full of smiles, and his voice loud and already in good spirits.

His father stopped for a moment in the middle of the room, and then, took a double-take at us.

Noah looked plain mortified, and he looked at his father with a shy smile.

“Hi, dad. Ben has come to visit me.”

He grinned widely. “So, the famous Ben has returned!” He walked over and gave me a half hug, “I knew it was you when I came in.”

“Sure you did, dad.” Noah said with a slight smile.

“Oh of course I did, I remember you, the musician,” He looked around. “Are you here by your lonesome?”

I laughed a little, “Yes I am.”

“How old are you again?”

“I’m seventeen.”

“Wow, what an old man you are.” He said, and I laughed again. Just in the way he said something made it funny, it didn’t matter what he said, he just had a way of making something sound so comical.

“I just heard the news so I wanted to come by. I really wanted to see him since we haven’t even spoken in about ten months.”

“Come by? Why, are you leaving tonight?”

“No I can stay until Sunday morning, and then I am leaving pretty early to get home for church. I have to check the bus schedule.”

Noah started to look at his dad with a strange look of fear and anticipation, it looked like he knew what was coming next.

“Well, why don’t you stay with us?” He asked.

“Dad…” Noah started.

“Noah, you know you’ll be out of here soon, and he can stay with us until he leaves. Then he will save money on cab rides and hotels.”

I thought the idea was very kind of him, but I then thought of John and his grandmother, and it made me tense.

“Dad, but what about John?” Noah asked him finally, and I was relieved he brought it up.

“John will be nice to guests or he’ll be in the doghouse. Figuratively speaking, of course,” He turned to me and winked, and I smiled, pursing my lips because Noah looked so serious that I didn’t laugh.

I looked at his father. “I’m very grateful you offered, Mr. Jamison, but I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You are very polite, kid, but I would never let such a good friend of Noah’s stay in a hotel. Especially after he came all this way. That takes gumption and loyalty.”

“Is that okay with you, Ben?” Noah asked me. “You don’t have to say yes.”

I thought about it, and it seemed like a logical thing to do, and I would save money. And I was going to stay here for a whole Saturday anyway, so maybe I could get to know his family a little better.

“Alright I will, and if it’s okay with you, sir, I’ll pay for my costs, food and everything.” I offered, and he shook his head immediately.

“No, we will have it all covered, I won’t take your money.” He said firmly, with a smile.

I had a strange notion all of a sudden. I walked over to Noah and whispered in his ear, “Do you think I could ask to stay until you were released, and we could go home together?” It was a defiant question, not only toward my own father but to my way of life. I had never defeated my father in a battle of independence or control. I felt so free here, and I felt so happy to be with Noah.

Noah grinned at me and looked at his father. “Dad, do you think, if his parents agreed, that Noah could stay with us until we moved?”

“What about school?” His father asked me.

I sighed. “I forgot all about that.”

“It’s okay, Ben. We will be coming back to Washington soon.” Noah smiled at me.

“Okay.” But I wasn’t convinced.

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