evil|live

I just appeared there, in the quiet darkness of an empty street. The neighbourhood was unfamiliar but I knew where I was, I could feel it all around me, permeating this place... evil resided here.

An ancient evil, proud and 'self' driven, it feeds off the transgressions of ego. It grows, in power and influence, in direct proportion to the overabundance of egotistical dominance in the universal mind. 'He' was probably watching me already, sizing me up...

Sure enough, not wasting any time, he appeared a few paces away. A beaming arrogant smile and insane, hungry eyes, on an oversized head with the face of a man I once knew(quite fitting, actually) and the body of an oversized, under-exercised bully.

Not giving me a moment to think or prepare, he lunged at me with such confidence, that it surprised me. I turned to flee... and immediately regretted my mistake.

I stopped and turned to face him head on... but he was gone. Gone... not really. This was his domain.

Worse still, he got inside me when my defenses were down.

This didn't mean defeat, by any measure but now he definitely had an advantage, albeit a temporary one. I set my mind to working on that while I got my bearings and figured out what to... oh, crap... people...

This complicated things exponentially... squared.

He was looking for them but didn't know where they were hiding. He eventually would, though.

I now had extremely complex situations intermingled. I had to manage to keep this demon from finding the people, in his own lair and I had to compartmentalize my thoughts, while trying to figure out how to expel the beast from my mind.

It was quite the task, not to think of anything I didn't want him to know while trying to think what to do about those things I didn’t want him to know.

He was inside me and knew everything I was knowing, when I was knowing it and right now, I was quite sure we was fully concentrated on me.

'Okay bud, you and me are going to tango. You feel my confidence? I know it frightens you. Confused? Good, get used to it.' I thought... to him.

This beast used to be my master.

My ego was unbounded and was the motivator for much of my endeavours and actually helped me get to the point where I eventually outgrew it being my defining principle.


Ego... I knew this demon well.

It would be a while before I could isolate his presence in me and eject it completely. For now, I was going to have to play a lot of head games.

Distracting attention to think a single thought, thinking in multiple choices or in contradictions, throwing thoughts to other moments for me to pick up when I reach those moments... I knew a few tricks.

Making my way down the street, I looked around me. Though very macabre, it was a very ordinary neighbourhood. Old buildings and houses lay in ruins around an abandoned playground.

A quick mental scan of the empty buildings around me, told me there was no human life in these dwellings, like they'd been abandoned, pillaged and wrecked through decades of abuse and decay. There was, however, insect life.

I decided to count cockroaches... 'From room to room, building to building, I'm going to count how many cockroaches are in this garbage dump he calls home.' I thought out loud.

Reluctant to sit anywhere or remain idle, for fear of being infected by whatever plagues doomed this land, I roamed the streets as I scanned the buildings.

'There's the first one! Great, I'm on a roll... Another one! Wow, that's two now.' I was being antagonizingly slow and exceedingly obnoxious(and loud).

'134-5-6-7-8-9... busy corner! This place sure is a mess, who can stand living here?' I thought to myself and whoever else would be listening.’

'1149, 1150-1-2-3, 1154... this will literally take forever, as they'll keep reproducing.'

By eight thousand and some cockroaches counted, he lost interest. I not only felt a release of pressure within my mind but I sensed intent, directed towards the buildings.

He had resumed his hunt for the people I now knew were somewhere in this neighbourhood.

Continuously and intentionally voicing my thoughts, I called him out in the open, “You can't possibly be bored with cockroaches, choosing to live amongst them, as you do so.” I was surprised at the pinch of resentment my comment actually elicited, pleasantly surprised.

No doubt he didn't appreciate this plague, an inevitable consequence of his very existence.

Although he'd wouldn't remove his link to me, I was no longer his priority and was actually becoming an undesirable distraction.

Noticing him deep in the darkness, moving undisturbed and focusing elsewhere, I thought of the... 'cockroaches'...

'No, seriously, come back! I'll let you do some of the counting this time...'

The more I pushed, the more he wanted nothing to do with me and that's when the back of my mind started quickly scanning everywhere, for... 'cockroaches'.

'10,001!, Hey, I passed 10,000! You sure you don't want to play any more?'

Always focusing on counting cockroaches, I scanned the whole area.

By now, I was merely pretending to count but the predator wasn't paying enough attention anymore, to notice.

I saw nothing but cockroaches, really...

I held back a pinch of satisfaction, the... 'cockroaches' were well hidden.

Apparently I didn't secure my pride and the demon picked up on it, his attention directed towards me, once again.

'They're so well hidden, I couldn't find them,' I thought to myself but he still remained focused on me, probing. That's when I let him see the results of my light scan, which I also amplified to make seem like I had searched hard but in vain.

A surge of disgust rose in me, then dissipated... that was him, feeling disappointed and turning his attention elsewhere, back to searching, no doubt.

He had thought I found something and really hated being duped.

It was a race now but I not only had to find the people, I mean ‘cockroaches’ before he did, I was going to have to prevent him from finding them too.

I believed he would find them, I strongly visualized it as a certainty and attached to that vision, the thought that I couldn't care less. I left that thought spotlit in my mind, for him to see and ponder.

Knowing the... cockroaches were hiding, I shifted my vision through the spectrum of frequencies and quickly spotted the...' cockroaches...'

'This place is filthy, I wonder if more people would reside here, were it more livable, this land is repugnant.' I sensed a moment of confused hesitation.

“He he he...” I chuckled out loud... and felt his annoyance. My dards were effective.

Thinking of how to proceed next, I couldn't help but remember when I was once a minion under his influence. 'He lost me as I learned to stand up to him and now, I know how to face him. I may not be able to defeat him but he can't defeat me either…'

...unless I let him.

At this point, I would have been content letting him search as he was but...'he's going towards the cockroaches I already counted! We can't have that, he'll mess up my count.'

He didn't seem to care what I was thinking, stubbornly continuing his search pattern.

'He really is a stupid stubborn one. Why does he insist on counting those cockroaches again? We could be counting them all together if he did it properly.'

To my surprise, my thought seemed so genuine to him, he stopped for a moment, as if to think about it... but only a moment. He wouldn't be deterred so easily.

'I have to get him to start counting cockroaches in the other direction.'

“Hey, buddy, come out here, let's talk!”

The thought crossed my mind that my cockroach act may be a deception, which wan’t my thought, I realised, it was his. This could only mean one thing, he was already on to my scheme.

That kicked me into gear. I threw my mind into overdrive...

My mind scrolled images of every cockroach I had counted so far, not concentrating on anything but maintaining the flow of images, throwing in the occasional(innocuous and irrelevant) memory.

In my mind, I started singing the worst ear worm I could think of, badly and loud. Another part of me chimed in with the irregular roar of an old and over-used chainsaw. Then came the ambulance siren and after that, the awful sound of as many misplayed musical instruments as my mind could juggle...

Taking advantage of the demon's predictable(if temporary) confusion, I tried to establish the semblance of a plan of action, away from his prying mind.

Running through my own mind, I threw random thoughts around, to direct his attention as I discretely redirected the conduits of thoughts he could use, to navigate within my mind.

Once again, without focusing on any particular image or thought, I visualized many possibilities and probabilities, choice-picking snippets of thought that would form the outline of a plan, all of it laced with reverse psychology, antagonism and propaganda, of course, for the ever prying presence...

Another problem that came to complicate matters even further... I was getting weak. Whatever I ended up doing, would be my only play.

'Up, down, all around, that's where I'll go. Here, there, not anywhere. He'll surely join, check that, no he won't, maybe he will. No, he's too busy searching for people or he simply wants to ignore me...' All thought out loud, of couese.

“Why are you ignoring me? I'm calling you out!”

'He's afraid of me, he won't come.' I baited him.

“I'm messing with your mind and you don't know what to do?”

'I'm messing with your mind...' I kept sending this thought at him.

I was wandering around, trying to taunt him out of hiding but I couldn't locate him. I suspected he was somewhere in the playground but I didn't dare get to close to it, it truly gave me the creeps...

“You give me the creeps, you know that? Don't you want to be loved?” I said, trying to justify my unease.

'I'm messing with your mind.'

It may may have seemed like I was improvising and to a certain extent, I was but I knew where I was heading with all this, a plan was tying itself together...

'Now you see them, now you don't'

...

'You will find them, no you won't'

...

“You know I'm planning your demise, don't you...”

No response.

'Chase me but I own you. I win and you are lost'

…

'Stay away or you will hurt.'

Here and there, ideas connected themselves to my plan, picked haphazardly and kept out of linear thought.

Whether he saw through my act or simply couldn't be bothered wasting any more time on me, he resumed his search... intensely. I couldn't see him but I could visualize him scanning and knew where he was looking.

My heart was sinking...

“What's the matter, I'm not good enough for you? How utterly disappointing!”

In a desperate attempt to halt the demon's search and to get him to focus on me, I let slip an image of exactly what he was looking for…

...the ‘cockroaches’ I spotted..

A whole congregation of bearded men with black hats, swayed to the low hum of their communal prayer, while the few mates that were linked to some of these souls, were in a side room, praying in their own, helpless fashion.

Although some, no doubt, wished for salvation or redemption, the prey were praying for their survival.

They were, in fact, struggling desperately to maintain the cloaking aura about them, that had shielded them from the predator, so far. However, their cloak would not deceive direct and determined scrutiny.

“Shit!” I blurted.

'He wasn't supposed to see that!' I thought to myself, with as much genuine regret as I could muster and sped in the opposite direction from where his search was leading him.

Projecting anxiety and certainty of failure, I searched for the biggest building I ‘thought’ the people would be in.

It worked! He broke off his search and was focused on me now, inside and out.

I found the building I 'thought' the people were in and approaching it, projecting utter panic, I attempted to erect a cloak around the entire building, all the while shifting the image of the people, from room to room of this building.

He was right behind me, as I arrived at a hole that use to be a doorway. I turned around and saw him staring at me... through me...

Our link showed me he could see the image of the people, skipping randomly throughout the building, while I thought up distractions from something I didn’t want the beast to know was not here.

'He'll never find them, they're not here, they're not here, they're not here…' I thought nervously and noisily.

“They're not here!” I screamed at him but his mind was screaming at him, 'They're in there! He's lying to you again!'

Both those voices were mine.

Roaring, he charged...

I shouted back defiantly, blocking his way in. He barely flinched and bowled right past me, as I had little choice but to move out of the way.

As he passed by me, with both of us shouting our way to this (anti)climactic moment, I nudged him out of the little room he had been running around in my mind and shifted the mental link to a fake me, a memory of myself doing all of this... and detached myself from the me he was connected to… he thinks he is connected to.

It would take him awhile to realise we were no longer connected, at all.

Doing so, I also removed myself from his mind, leaving but one last 'preoccupation' for him to ponder...

In his mind, I had made sure to impress upon him the fact that the room the people were in, was cloaked. He would have to stop at every room, as well scan each properly, making sure he didn't skip any frequencies.

Hopefully, it would buy me the time I needed.

Behind me, he was at the first door. Phasing in and out of visibility, he was scanning. Not wasting another moment, I took-off, back in the direction we had both come from.

I wasn't thinking about where I knew I was going. My link to the demon may have been severed but I wasn't taking any chances.

He was so proud, he would never dare think I had actually made it into his mind, much less affected his will and even much less admit to himself that I duped him out of my mind AND into a trap.

Well, that he would realise eventually, no doubt.

Having abilities is one thing, learning to use them is another. So busy noisily hammering his way through my mind, he didn't notice me thread my way through to his.

Self-control was also not one of his strengths. Goading and teasing him elicited all the reactions I needed to divert his attention, to stealthily feel my way along the link connecting us.

A screeching howl could be heard throughout the whole neighbourhood... perhaps from him now realising I wasn't the me he thought he was connected to or maybe he just realised searching this building was going to be a tedious task.

Feeling drained, I arrived at a nondescript door in an alley and tapped gently on it in the designated fashion, that would let those behind the door know exactly who was doing the tapping.

Nothing happened, I tapped slightly louder... still nothing.

Knocking a little louder and speaking in a low voice, I said, “let me in”.

Inside, I could hear muffled sounds. They were actually debating whether or not to let me in, as was the arrangement... the nerve! I don't remember when we made this arrangement, perhaps in the future or another reality that I remember not but they were supposed to let me in... I was fighting for them!

“Let me in.” I spoke louder.

I truly didn't want to attract the demon's attention but at this point, if they were so self-centered and cowardly as to sacrifice me, I wouldn't spare them. I was about to say, “open the door or I'll shout” but I heard a bolt click and the door opened.

Decency apparently won the debate behind the door.

Once inside, I saw who's kindness I was grateful for. She was a very round, seemingly middle-aged woman with a friendly, though worried face.

We were in a kitchen with a half dozen or so other women, bitter looking and staring me down as if I was an omen of the doom they were fearing. They didn't want me here, that was clear.

The friendly woman led me to a table, under the glaring eyes of frightened and bitter souls.

The demon's occasional howling, for lack of success and increasing frustration, did not help to ease tensions in the least.

Still, a few of those glaring eyes were looking past the walls and back at me, wondering what I could have done to make the Beast screech and wail so.

I was there and the beast was not, that seemed to count for something.

As reluctant as the cooperation was, each act helped to regenerate me. She offered me a plate of cookies, which I realise now she had probably prepared just for me. I didn't need so much, though. I just took two.

Taking a bite, I heard a low hum, coming from a doorway next to the table. I went to look...

At first glance, it seemed like a half dozen men praying in the rubble of a lost makeshift temple, like those found in school basements or on a top floor of the local strip-mall but I knew what I was looking for...

Shifting my vision, I saw through the illusion the half dozen men were actually working to maintain. Under brighter lights than they should be daring, rows upon rows upon rows of men were praying in unison, to ward off the evil that stalked them, a little louder than they should be daring.

Some of them were simply pretending to pray, while others were busy doing anything but. I couldn't help but note the irony of such arrogance in this land.

Looking at the handful of women in the kitchen, I could tell which ones were complicit minds and which one simply had her heart linked to the wrong soul in the praying chamber behind me.

A bite and a nibble were enough. I was fully regenerated. Hospitality and generosity go a long way, when we’re talking energy redistribution and regeneration…

Her appropriate integrity and pertinent acts of kindness did more for me than the cookie I hate. Even that gesture alone was just as potent as the nibbles I’d taken.

I put the remains of the cookie on the table and the other one in my pocket. Friendly lady insisted I take more but I assured her I was all set.

The cookie in the pocket wad, just in case and served as a reminder, which would serve as a moral boost, if needed.

There are times when any energy boost helps.

Making my way to the door, I realised the demon's howling had stopped. He had no doubt figured out he had been played and was undoubtedly on the prowl again... and most surely irate. I slipped out, back into the dark, quietly and cautiously...

He was right there...

I withheld a surge of panic. He hadn't seen me. He would, though... I had to think fast. There was no way I could get by him or hide but I couldn't let him see me here, of all places. Not that here had to be any place special, as far as he had to know.

There was really only one option left for me... I charged him, shouting as loud as I could, while sounding every siren and other noise I could muster in one solid mental blast... and caught him by surprise. He moved to avoid me.

“So, you fear just like any other creature.” I spoke to him, circling him, moving in the direction I wanted him to look towards.

We stared each other down, him gauging me and me trying to keep his interest. What I saw in his eyes, disturbed me more than anything else I expected... he didn't care about me, he only cared about...

He turned away from me and resumed his searching, as if I wasn't even there! I followed him, hounding him...

“Hey, failed human! How does it feel to constantly be a step behind... or three?” He stopped and turned at me, as if to lunge but restrained himself. He really wanted to have at me but I was no longer his priority. He seemed determined and even pressured to find his prey quickly.

Was time running out?

By now, I was starting to look forward to dawn, for daylight to chase this beast away.

“What, afraid to lose yet again?” He paused but this time, didn't even bother looking at me before continuing on his vector, which would be disastrous if not interrupted.

I played my last card...

“Fine, you win.” Pointing at the very door I had just exited from, moments ago, I said, “they're in there”.

His mind spoke to him as well... 'they're in there' just as the last time he was duped and an image of the door I was pointing at, appeared in his mind. He looked at me, confused.

“Yes... I'm in your mind. Neat trick, your little charging distraction, it worked on you. One would expect you to have defenses against your own strategies.”

He was fuming... and confused. He didn't know what was truth anymore. He was also on edge, almost panicky, it seemed, if one didn't know any better...

This night was nearing it's end.

“What are you waiting for? They're in there, go get them.” I assured.

His mind reminded him of his previous fruitless, methodical search. If he went in there now and had to repeat the pattern, he wouldn't make it out on time and no feeding would save him, not this night... but he didn't know they were right behind the door.

“They're right behind this door”, I said, approaching it and laying my hand on it, in an odd and mystical way, just to mess with his mind as much as I could.

Inside, I could feel their fear and even hear whispers of hate but I dared not create a dampening barrier, as that would surely not go unnoticed. I didn’t want him calling my bluff.

“You don't believe me? I'm telling you, they're right in here”, I said and hit the door hard. I wanted him to think I had installed wards or curses in and around but it was really meant for the people inside, they needed to shut up... a message I blasted at them through the sound waves of the noise my hand made on the door.

The demon, apparently desperate, just threw caution to the wind and headed for the door. I quickly opened the door for him, hoping to confuse him enough to doubt himself even more... and hoping the people inside had thought to turn off all lights.

“Here, let me help you.”

That stopped him dead in his tracks. He glared at me... he didn't know what to think any more or even if it were his own thoughts he was thinking. Rage and hatred poured out of him.

This was going to be our final battle but unexpectedly, the night ended... a new day was beginning…

He screeched at me the eons of anger and frustration abounding within him and fled.

Realising the moment had passed, my mind started to register the night I just experienced and what I faced...

Events unravelled quickly and I never had time to plan but I managed to keep my wits about me. Although I would later realise that I had won the night, I was proud to simply have survived the encounter.

'I survived!' I was impressed with myself. I also learned a great deal from the encounter and already felt stronger and surer.

'I survived...' The words kept resonating in my mind.

Looking around, the neighbourhood was no longer shambled ruins but looked normal, lived in. People were already moving about in the streets, going about their business, as if it were any other day and this past night was nothing more than the usual unconscious interlude of their daily lives.

A dream?

A few women were headed in my direction, talking and also seemingly oblivious to the night I just experienced... except one... She looked up and I recognized her, the woman who gave me cookies.

She also recognized me, her eyes showing gratitude while her face displayed the shame her group had earned for themselves. She glanced at the women walking along side of her, oblivious to everything but their own little lives and looked back at me...

Managing a weak smile, she lowered her eyes as they passed me...

I couldn't help but think this woman didn't belong with the others.

She wasn't prey because of her ego, she just found herself facing the same consequences of the soul she loved, dragged through dimensions, even to the hellish pits of existence itself... because of this love, which bound her to his frequency.

Writing this, I can't help but wonder what would have happened had the ego demon attempted to consume her... Perhaps, the greatest weapon against this demon wasn't my cat and mouse games, in our minds and in the streets but the love and kindness that was pulsing behind that nondescript door.

What brought me to this night? Was I sent here to protect these people or was it due to my own flirting with this demon's philosophy? It may be both those reasons or neither. It may really have been because of her and all the lessons her presence in this nightmare could teach.

What hasn't escaped me is that this demon could be me, had I yielded to my primal instincts eons ago and it could still be me if I ever lose control of my self.

Surviving this encounter did much for my confidence and oddly enough, to boost my ego... dangerous slope...