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Everything I want to text my ex

Vs what had actually happened

By The Lost WandererPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
2
Everything I want to text my ex
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

These thoughts of texting you just become so overwhelming sometimes. But just as I get the courage to do it, I wonder if you even still care about me. If you still have feelings for me. If you still think about me as I think about you, 24/7. Below is a list of different things that I've thought of texting you that I never did.

"Hey"

I know, very simple. But I remember when you would tell me about how happy you got whenever I texted you those three letters. And I understood why because I felt that same way. As simple as they may be, those three letters let you know that you were on my mind, as you always are. They were the conversation starter. Every time I saw my screen light up with this little word, my face would light up even brighter.

"I miss you, button"

This one was what I would say when I'm feeling lonely or I felt like I haven't been showing you enough love. As cheesy as it may be, to me, you are as cute as a button. I picked this nickname randomly since I've always heard it in movies and shows. And it turns out, you liked it, so it stuck. I would use this to get my way when you would say no to me. Even though you barely could.

“I love you”

Even though we’re not together right now, it doesn’t change my feelings for you. Throughout it all, I’ve always loved you. You’ll always have a place in my heart.

Actually 3 years after we started dating that all changed. We were broken up and you came to me with a confession. You didn’t really love me towards the end. You loved the way I loved you. You only kept me around because you wouldn’t get what I gave you from anyone else that knew your past. For two years of our relationship, it was all a lie as you led me to believe that you truly had feelings for me. You had tried so hard and cling to how our relationship used to be. But things change and when you break up once you could never go back to how it was before. You have to build a new normal.

With this confession in mind, I began to let you go. You did not deserve to hold my heart or my love after everything you put me through. I was always there after each mess up with open arms for you to run to. But that was my mistake. I let the fact that you were my first love cloud my judgement. Sadly, this was how I was meant to learn that lesson. I had to go through all that to learn how my heart should be handled.

And now the place that you once held in my heart is empty and I feel lighter now without it weighing me down. And with that said goodbye, my first love.

breakups
2

About the Creator

The Lost Wanderer

Just trying to share my favorite writing pieces with the world.

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