Enrich Your Life and Build Community: 7 Steps to Making Friends in a New City as an Adult

Doordash, grocery delivery, Amazon Prime, Remote work; All of these conveniences have made interacting with a stranger in our day-to-day lives optional. Talking with strangers and meeting people in our communities used to be a part of these daily tasks. Now with the click of a button, we avoid the interaction altogether.

I believe that adults find making meaningful connections in their lives difficult because we are simply out of practice. Friends used to be integrated into our lives seamlessly. You’d meet someone on the school bus, meet a friend on your sports team, or even your study group. With the absence of school or a work environment to force us into social situations, adults are intimated to make friends, some have even deemed it impossible.

In my 20s, I moved 3 times to 3 different cities where I didn’t know a soul. Within all of these cities I have met incredible friends, learned new hobbies, and most importantly built community. I have seen firsthand how important friendships are in enriching our adult lives.

With these 7 steps, I’ll prove to you how easy making friends in a new city can be and even how rewarding it will be for your life.

1. Hobbies: The most important step in meeting new people is putting yourself in an environment where you will meet new people. A hobby can mean a wide range of activities. I know people who make ceramics, surf, skate, walk, watercolor, etc. The list goes on and on. It’s important to discover what interests you have and explore them. If you don’t have a hobby, find one! Try a new art class in your city or take advantage of your natural landscape. You’ll meet people easily. Bonus point: you’ll already share a common interest.

2. Saying yes to everything: When moving to a new city or just putting yourself back out there, it's easy to get in your head. Whether you're socially anxious and the meet-up has too many people or the activity seems out of your wheelhouse, we always have a million excuses not to do something. My best advice to make new friends? Just say yes!

3. Reach out: Chances are you’ve met at least one person in your city or someone you know knows someone that lives there. Reach out to these people and plan a hang-out. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, a simple coffee date and a walk is a great way to get to know a person. Keep in mind, this person might not be your best friend. However, I’ve found that you meet more people through other people so who knows where this person can lead you.

4. Meet Up Groups: Meet Up is a great tool for branching out in a new city. They offer group activities for all age ranges and interests. Group walks, group paddle boarding, group park or beach clean up. The opportunities are endless.

5. Exploring Alone: I know spending time alone sounds like the opposite of what you want to do but it's super important. Explore your new city alone by going to coffee shops, local restaurants, shows, and walking in nature. When you're alone you're so much more likely to be approached by strangers or start up a conversation. Just make sure to look approachable! Smile, don’t stare at your phone, and be open to socializing.

6. Friendship Dating Apps: Apps like Bumble Bff are a great tool to meet like-minded people who are specifically looking for more friends. The best thing about these apps if you can scroll from the comfort of your own home. My advice for these apps is don’t be too particular about the people you choose and say yes to everything (as long as it’s safe!).

7. Don’t Be Afraid: Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Ask for people’s numbers, reach out, and ask them to hang out. It’s not weird to want to meet new people, you’re building community!

Making new friends as an adult!? In a new city where I don’t know anyone!? That’s impossible. Well actually it's quite simple and I hope my 7 steps have made you see that. In a world of internet convenience where interacting with a stranger is now a choice rather than a survival need or hourly occurrence, I encourage you to put yourself out there and build community!