Empathy for the Excess

When it comes to substance abuse most of us are quick to be judgmental. Many of us self proclaimed judges have probably never dealt with addiction to drinking or drugs, but when it comes to the ones who have, we are quick to condemn. I think it is important to remember that simply condemning a person who is an addict doesn't help them come to terms with the wrong in their addiction and how it is hurtful to the people around them, instead we need to acknowledge the circumstances that have pushed them to this limit and try to appeal to their humanity.

Life is a challenge and when the rough really gets going we sometimes look for an escape from the pressure of our daily responsibilities or an antidote to ease the pain. Many of us find healthy attachments to help us cope with day to day life such as exercising, spending time with people who care about us, or seeking a positive expression of spirituality. Others however find vices like drugs or drinking as a preferred form of attachment and unintentionally lead themselves down a dark path. The biggest problem with substance abuse, aside from the obvious health effects, is that it is a maladaptive form of coping with internal pain. We think attachment to substances abuse is taking us away from our issues, but all it really does is distract us from coming to terms with our problems and finding a healthy solution to solving them. Attachment to this maladaptive coping mechanism is where addiction is born and when it takes shape most of us see the damage of the addiction, but not the struggle from which it came.

I have always felt that the best example of what leads to the stronghold of addiction can best be seen with famous celebrities. When we think about a famous person we admire, the first thing that comes to mind is a lavish lifestyle of which, worry does not exist. The biggest problem with this mindset is that it ignores the humanity of the people involved. At the end of the day we are all human and we all struggle daily in some way, shape, or form. With celebrities it often slips our minds that their struggles can sometimes be more challenging than the average person walking down the street. As luxuriously fun as a famous person's life may seem to someone watching them on tv or the internet, that lifestyle comes with a lot of pressure. It is a form of pressure that forces them to have to keep up an appearance to maintain a positive impression to the world that their very career may depend on and even the smallest misstep could put a stain on that impression. When the fear of a tarnished reputation kicks in these famous individuals often develop an attachment to drinking and drugs to skate through the struggles they are faced with. Adversely this coping method becomes its own struggle and that reality is hard for an addict to understand when their mind crowded with a voice of thoughts saying things like "If I don't do better, then they won't love me.", "If I don't remain appealing, then my career is over.", or "The scope I am under is so painfully pressuring, but if I keep taking all of these pills or drinking out of this bottle until there is nothing left, then I'll feel better."

It is very easy to condemn someone who is lost in addiction, but the better approach to helping someone through addiction would be to focus on the pain inside the innocent person behind the addiction. We need to be there for these individuals, part of why so many people get lost in addiction is because they feel like they do not have a support system. Maybe if this person had even just one other person who they could talk to and be open with they might be swayed from getting drowned in their excesses. Most of us have no idea how the power of just listening to someone can change their entire life. To let them confess to you their internal struggle and what it has done to their heart and mind and being able view this from your own personal point of view is a great first step. To take this first step is to say "I understand that you are in pain", "I understand that you feel alone", "I am sorry for what you are going through, but if you will let me, then I want to be there for you''. This is what empathy is, making an effort to understand the feelings of another. Genuine empathy can often times be a great pathway to trust and if someone trust you enough to bare their soul to you, then they may also trust you enough to let you help them and save their lives. If we start practicing empathy more towards those who struggle with addiction, there is no telling how many lives we could save.