Drying Paint

Average day, swipe left, swipe right.

Hoping that I would find someone who would fit me just right, or at least be an interesting experience at the end of the day. I ended up matching with a lovely gal from the islands of Canada. She was new to the city out here in the west and still getting comfortable with the city after a year. Our text conversations seemed to be going great. They were engaging and thoughtful. We seemed to share the same aspects of life.

With my line of work, I am constantly on the go and it is not always the easiest to make a real connection of meaning with someone, but this one seemed different. If anything, it was going to be an enjoyable Saturday night and who knows, that could lead to a second date. Add in that she looked great in her photos and it seemed like I had at least started to find people that aligned more with my interests and preference.

As the time rolls around for our first date, we ended up having to cancel. Winter time where I live can be terrible to drive in—add in having to dig out a vehicle and no snow plows out working away and you have a situation where nobody is taking a risk. Apologetically, we both decided that we would try again tomorrow and see if the weather wanted to cooperate with us. We continued with our texting and the mood began to change after a bit from excitement to slight frustration for having to figure out a new plan.

The next morning, we decided coffee was doable and the roads were at least passable if nothing else. I dressed up and attempted to be the best version I could of myself. Nice collared shirt, dress sweater, and made sure to clean up the cowboy boots. I headed down to the coffee shop and proceeded to wait for 20 minutes, which considering the roads, was not that long of a wait. The first person that looked a little confused and lost I had assumed was my date. We exchanged names but we weren't the right people, oddly enough. A slight disappointment came over us as we laughed it off and moved along.

That should have been a sign looking back on it. The mix up was funny and still better than the next gal who strolled in. My date.

First off, I am okay if someone doesn't look exactly like their photo. I get it—bad skin day, put on a little weight, whatever it is, not the end of the world. I understand there is some fluctuation. The person who came strolling in did not resemble the photos in the least! I knew at that point that the photos she had used were more than a few years old but closer to 10 years ago back in her glory days of high school. Silly me for not vetting closer.

I decided to suck it up and go with the flow. Who knows, she could still be wonderful and charming like she was on the phone. We headed up to get our drinks and settle in to chat and get to know each other a little bit better. We sat down and I noticed she was not keen on starting the conversation. I began to ask her the usual boring stuff to generate some sort of topic I could build from.

Nothing.

Zero response.

I took a sip of my coffee, looked around, and hoped something astonishing would burst onto the scene. No such luck occurred. The lack of engagement and conversation began to lead to me staring at the paintings on the wall and wondering how I was going to make that connection that seemed so great before.

I had nothing to go to.

I began to gulp my freshly brewed coffee, ignoring the burning sensation as it hit the back of my throat and proceeded down to my stomach. 45 minutes crawled by, feeling as if I was stuck in purgatory waiting for the next step.

She finally spoke up and shared a tiny bit of her travels around Canada. I could work with that. So we chatted about what she had seen and what she enjoyed. When her response was she didn't enjoy any of it, that is when I knew this was done. She finished up her tea and I suggested that we leave as I needed to get back home to take care of some dog-related matters.

Upon saying goodbye and giving her a little hug, I wished her well and made a break for my vehicle. As I sat reflecting on the date, I wondered if she might have been nervous or caught on a bad day. I wanted to give this person the benefit of the doubt and not assume that she was less fun than watching drying paint.

Once I returned home, I opened up Tinder and noticed not only did she unmatch me but blocked my phone number too. It was in that moment that I realized it was the worst date I had ever been a part of. I have never had so many issues trying to connect with someone before. I say this not lightly. My work has me engaging with non verbal and low functioning cognitive clients. What this means is they might not even understand anything that is being said to them, yet at least they will give you feedback through their body language and eye movements. My date gave me absolutely nothing.

Had I bored her? Did I ask something that crossed a line or was it something else? I will never know the answer to this mystery nor will I ever find out why she stayed so quiet the entire time. All I know is watching paint dry with a pint in my hand would have been a better use of my time.

I hope all of you have better dates with someone who wants to spend time with you. At this point, I have found that person so there is a silver lining at the end of it all. I guess we all need to find a bad date before we can find a few good ones.