Dropping the "L" Bomb

"I love you." It has been said and expressed to our parents, our siblings, our families, our friends and even our pets. So why is it so hard to say it to someone we look at in a romantic way? Most of us have said "I love you" to a significant other at some point or another in our lifetimes. There's a difference between saying it and meaning it. There's a scary feeling that comes along with it. It's a big step in a relationship and usually occurs at a significant moment. Trying to determine when it's okay or when the right moment is to drop the "L" bomb is nearly impossible. It's different for all relationships.

My personal experience with it hasn't exactly been positive. I avoided saying it for an entire year to one significant other. Another person I briefly dated, said it on the third date, and then I stopped seeing him. Someone else said it to me and I didn't know how to respond so I just avoided them for a straight month until they finally confronted me. I'm not afraid of commitment. I'm afraid to say it, without really meaning it, I'm afraid to say it and not have the other person feel the same way, and I'm afraid to say it and have the other person tell me it's too early. I'm basically afraid that the other person will do all the same horrible things that I did when I was told "I love you" by someone.

But here's the thing: Right now, I'm happy. I'm the happiest I've been in a long time and I'm definitely the happiest I've ever been in a relationship. I just don't know how to say it. I've said things like it. I have told him repeatedly how much I care about him and how happy I am to have him in my life... I'm pretty sure he even wants to say it. Which only makes me question myself more. I'm not questioning whether or not I'm in love with him. At this moment in time, I can say without a doubt in my head or my heart, that I absolutely, 100 percent, am in love with him. But I continue to question if I should say it first or if he'll be disappointed if I beat him to the punch. This isn't an easy self debate. Trying to tell myself to "woman up" and just tell him really isn't working in this scenario.

Saying "I love you" is scary. Maybe not for everyone, but if you find someone that you truly love and they haven't said it yet... it can be a little scary to consider being the one to say it first. It's okay to feel a little foolish for being hesitant to say something so important. This is a fact I have to remind myself of constantly. I am not the only person alive who has been nervous about saying those three words. I might be one of the only people who thinks to myself "Don't say it yet! It's not the right time!" on a constant basis though. I'm beginning to believe that waiting for the perfect moment is a waste of precious time. I was asked what would I tell people if I knew I was going to die tomorrow. Instantly, I thought of all the things I would need to write down for my daughter, but then I thought of him. I thought of how much I would regret not telling him I love him before I die.

I try hard to live in the now while also planning for the future, and it is so hard to do both sometimes. My brain is in a constant battle of "Do it now, you might not have time later" and "No, you can do it later when you do..." It's horrible. I've been going back and forth for almost a week now, debating if I should just say it. The thing is though: Saying it now is planning for our future. Saying it now would help me tremendously. We've had some of the "future" conversations, but they've all been very vague and I want him to know that I do want him in my future. I want him to know that when I'm picturing my future, he's always in it. Dropping the "L" bomb would be a good start to that conversation.

I hope this article is helping someone struggling with dropping the "L" bomb. The truth is that there is never going to be a perfect time, so if the time feels right, maybe we should just do it. The truth is that we really do only have today and nothing is promised. We should tell people how we feel about them when we feel it because if we don't we'll, A) never know if they feel the same, and B) might not get the chance to tell them again. Nothing is promised and the people that are important to us deserve to know that we feel that way about them. They deserve to hear it everyday. Maybe they will freak out when they hear it, but you will never truly know unless you speak up.