Driving with a Disabled Dad

Driving with a Disabled Dad

By: Esther I. Kim

Part 1: Driving Lessons

He was socially awkward and couldn’t make eye contact. My friends would laugh at him when he would blurt out the wrong things at the wrong times. He didn’t get along with the other adults. He worked as a janitor at my school to pay the bills. He had Aspergers. He was my Dad.

I was 16 when my friends at school pressured me to drive. I took the written test and signed up for driving test. I had to take some driving lessons.

“Timothy! You are going to drive now? I will teach you tomorrow. You tell me what time”.

“No, Dad!”, I yelled back. “You can’t even talk properly. How are you going to teach me how to drive?”

There was pain in his eyes. But he smiled and said calmly.

“Your Dad is a good driver. I’ll teach you how to drive. Tomorrow. Bring car to here”.

Reluctantly, I dragged myself to the garage the next morning. It was a beat up Toyota Camery from 1988. It barely ran. It would stop at random times when we went on family trips. There was dust accumulating. When my Dad picked me up from school, I would tell him to pick me up where my friends couldn’t see how bad the car condition was. My Dad put the key into the ignition and started the car. He was listening to some old school music from the 80s and humming off beat.

“When you drive, you always need to be alert!”, he said. “Keep your eyes on the road at all times”, he went on. The car was shaking a little from his driving. I could tell that he was nervous. “When I was your age, I took the driving test and I passed in one time!”

“That’s great, Dad. Now please just pay attention to the road. I want to learn how to drive”.

We passed by some familiar spots and some familiar streets. He took a right turn, then a left turn, then went in a circle. At the intersection before the freeway 101, my Dad made a halting stop. The stoplight was red.

“Red means stop. Yellow means you need to wait a little. And green means…” My Dad was looking at me with his hands still on the wheel.

“Green means goooooooo?” I rolled my eyes. “Obviously, green means go”.

“Yes, that’s right Timothy! Green means go. It means you can go past the light. You can go anywhere you want. You can go all over the world, if you wanted! You could do anything”. He laughed out loud, as the stoplight turned a bright green. “You see? Everyone waits on the red light. But when it’s a green light- everyone goes where they want to go. That’s why the Green light is the most important light!”

He merged into the freeway, and showed me a few more driving directions. After a few weeks, I took the driver’s license and I passed.

Part 2: Graduation

It was graduation day. I was waiting for my Mom as her face appeared in the large crowd. She found me with tears in her eyes and a big smile on her face. She handed me a graduation present and an envelope. Inside the envelope was a check and a hand written card.

Dear Son,

I’m sorry I could not be with you at graduation today. I am proud of you and I want you to know that I am always with you. Remember the driving lessons we used to have? I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the best Dad. But I want you to remember. Red means stop. Yellow means wait. And green means go. You can go anywhere you want to. You can do anything that you want to. I will always be your biggest fan.

Love, Dad.

I folded the card in my hands. Red means Stop. Yellow means Wait. And Green means Go. I walked back to my car, and started the engine.