Dream Date

I once met a boy who broke my heart. Three years have gone by since the last time I tasted the sweet taste of a long island iced tea on his tongue. He enters my mind every now and then whenever I feel lonely. I picture us running into each other at a museum or a cafe, maybe on an island getaway. I picture him confessing his love and telling me that I’m all he’s thought about after all these years. But realistically no one has ever fallen for a girl like me, a girl so broken with nothing but conflicting emotions. Yes, I’m emotionally unstable, I have a list of acronyms of disorders that haunt me every day. I picture love so intently because I know it’s never going to be something attainable for me.

That’s why as I sit here watching this boy on a first date with a beautiful girl, I can’t help but feel happy for him. I can’t help but feel butterflies as I see him nervously chuckle as he pours a glass of the finest merlot the house has to offer. I said it’s been three years since I tasted his lips, but I never said I hadn’t seen him in all those years. Obsessive stalker, you might think but I’m doing no harm. Yes I obsess over people too much and I’ve never known if this is love, but I can’t help but to chase those beautiful blue eyes.

I know for a fact that you don’t know I’ve been watching you, I’ve been careful. It’s best that you don’t know. I’d rather blend into the night for years to come than to tarnish the image of the girl you spent comforting and falling for all summer long. Yes, it ended sour but for me, that wasn’t the end. How many other girls are you going to bring here? You order the same thing every night, mushroom filet mignon with honey glazed Brussel sprouts. You cut a pieceof your steak and feed it to her every time. Night after night I wish it were me sitting in that chair but then again, I never see you make it past the first date. So maybe I’m fine watching through the window. Forever mine, blue eyes, soft lips, tall nose… I love you.

I notice him pay the bill and that’s my queue to leave. I walk into my usual 7-11 just down the block from the restaurant. I'm walking up and down the aisles a few times before I decide on a burrito or nachos, then I notice him looking at me intently. “It’s you..” he murmurs. I pause, “oh my how have you been?” His shocked expression doesn’t change, “yeah I’m good, it’s been a while we should catch up some time”. And just like that, I’m set to meet him tomorrow night.

I prepare my most elegant dress as I get home, ready to fall into the routine of sitting by the table right by the window tomorrow night at dinner. But to my surprise, I receive a text with an address on the other side of town. It is followed by a text saying: "I was thinking I would make you a nice dinner tomorrow night at my place, see you at 7 pm." The next day the evening approaches much sooner than my nerves can handle. He lives in a nice secluded house in the suburbs on the outskirts of town. Rich boy, just as I suspected a few summers ago. The night flows by and before I know it it’s 1 am. I am curious as to why he didn’t take me out to the restaurant like all his other first dates. Maybe I’m different, maybe he loves me too, and maybe there’s hope for a broken girl like me?

I insist on a second date and tell him I’ve heard of a nice restaurant in town yes, you know where this is going. He doesn’t try to dissuade me and we agree to meet next week at the same time. I’m curious to play a game and see how much crazy he can handle. A week later I arrive at the restaurant in my best dress, I make sure to arrive earlier and pick his usual table. He arrives and is not surprised at the choice of table, maybe he assumes the waiters know his usual spot. So I wait patiently with a few more games in mind. He sits in front of me pretending to ponder as to what he wants to order. When the waiter arrives I make sure to beat him to it, “two mushroom filet mignon with the honey glazed Brussel sprouts, please, oh and his usual bottle of merlot.” He stares at me both in shock and in awe, the rest of dinner is painfully silent but I can’t help but smirk the entire time. As per routine, he cuts a slice of his steak and feeds me, not once blinking until I swallow. “So you’ve been watching me?” he finally says. I look up at him and smile slowly. If I won’t make it past this date at least it will be because of my doing and not because I wasn’t good enough for him, at least I’ll stand out from the others.

After dinner he surprises me with a firm, “don’t go anywhere I’ll bring the car around”. I’m quiet but obedient, at least I didn’t drive here, but how does he know that? I can’t think straight with the tingling sensation rushing through my body; he’s finally mine. As we start driving I notice we aren’t going anywhere near his house or mine, nonetheless, I remain calm, nothing about this man frightens me. We pull into a nice apartment complex in the middle of town. Where are we?

This place is different from his home, much more organized and polished. “Is this where you take all your dates?” I ask playfully. He nods but doesn’t respond and signals me into a room, that’s when I see them. I recognize some of the dresses from his previous dates all hanging neatly on a clothing rack. He grabs me and overpowers me. Oh crap, I’m freaking out… but then he whispers in my ear that he loves me and the panic instantly leaves my body. I happily melt into his arms as he starts to mark his love on my body with a sharp blade. It burns, I’ve always pictured love burning this much, I’m so happy I can’t help but smile. He notices and kisses me one last time before I start to fade away. This taste is different, it’s not the sweet long island iced tea I remember but a bitter taste, I love…