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Do You Need Love?

Should You Even Bother Looking for It?

By Emilio (Sleepy) SalinasPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
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Do You Need Love?
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

Love is defined in the Oxford dictionary as; An intense feeling of deep affection. If you were to ask that question to any random person, their answer might be a little different. People’s own definition of love can be as unique and different as each other. One could think that love is simply an emotion, nothing more than a feeling. Another could say that love is putting others needs before yours. No matter who you ask, the real question is, who’s right and who’s wrong. Well to answer that question I will examine the emotional, chemical, and realistic aspects of love and come up with my own understanding/definition of love.

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What starts this emotion of love? Some people can look at a pretty face and say, “oh man, I’m in love” or others might find a singing voice more attractive than a pretty face. Well no matter what situation, “love” starts with an attention grabber. A characteristic that attracts certain people.

Someone could “fall in love” with you immediately or, one could grow in love.

Immediately “falling in love” is quite a conclusion if you ask me, that emotion of attraction is the only things driving your mind at that point. All your thinking about is the pleasures of being with that person.

Now growing in love is a different story, and it's the best way to fall in love.

Growing into love, is not being in love in the first place, but it's slowly starting to realize you are.

It hits you, and it hits you hard. This “attraction” is way different from the other and better because you have slowly over time learned more about this person, besides their attention grabber. You know more about what you’ve fallen in love with. This is something that helps relationships from the start. Now after one of these two outcomes, it does not matter who or how it happened, you now have feelings of love.

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So, what is this emotion? It’s something, that pulls you and controls you. Love can distract you. Love can be more of a burden than something positive in your life. It's something you may think about all the time. A deep desire, to see someone that would make your day better. Love can distract you from doing homework, or make you go play hooky. Love can keep you from following your dreams because you’d rather be with the one you love. Is “love” worth missing all that? Is “love” worth the risk? You tell me. Love doesn’t have to refer to a lover of sorts or anything to do with sexually, it can but that’s not what it could refer to.

I feel people have corrupted the word love. Love has so many meanings nowadays. Love can be a noun, referring to someone that one loves. Love can be a verb, in the literal sense referring to sexual intercourse or the emotional sense of liking something with a passion or finding pleasure in something like food, money, or someone.

Anastasia Toufexis explains it well in her article titled “Love: The Right Chemistry”, a quote from her article is as stated;

“…Love rests firmly on the foundations of evolution, biology and chemistry. What seems on the surface to be irrational, intoxicated behavior is in fact part of nature’s master strategy – a vital force that has helped humans survive, thrive and multiply through thousands of years…”

By Lubomirkin on Unsplash

If you look at love through this perspective, love is nothing more than dominating and reproducing to keep the human species alive. All love is, is a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. When you think about it, most of this is true. It’s a feeling that hits hard and even fades over time. Or the feeling never leaves if you’ve found "the one".

Love is something that needs to be looked at from a perspective where you can see everything. Taking a step back and seeing the possible outcomes, seeing what has happened before and seeing if being in love is worth it right now in your life. Stopping the feelings/chemical reaction can be hard, it’s easier to stop it when you realize the difference between this “chemical reaction” and what love actually is.

By Jean Carlo Emer on Unsplash

It’s different when you’re watching someone else fall in love. When you’re witnessing people or friends fall in love, you see them do things for love. Thoughts come to you like, “Why would he do that?” or “Why would she give up that for him?” and so on.

Now as soon as you start to fall for someone, you start to see why they made their “stupid” decisions. Now suddenly, you’re making the “stupid” decisions. Is love worth those decisions? You tell me.

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Love can be blind. You might not even be feeling love. It’s hard to tell the difference between love and lust when you’re the one that has the feeling. Love isn’t just sex and the other physical/pleasurable feelings. Wanting that specifically is a lustful feeling.

Now think with me for a second, imagine the pleasurable feeling of sex gone and all those other lustful and pleasurable feelings gone. The attraction to a pretty face or a curvy body, gone. What would attract you to someone with all those things gone?

By Isi Parente on Unsplash

Maybe you have something in common that you “love” to do. They might be able to make you laugh when usually people can’t make you laugh. They might be there for you when no one else is. They might help you with your needs. They could take care of you. They help you get through life. When you’re with them, your problems seem to go away. All those worries and the bad day that you’ve had seem to have not existed ever.

Like I said before, these don’t have to apply to whatever you sexually find attractive. This can be your mom that’s always there for you. A friend that makes you laugh no matter what you’re feeling. Your child taking care of you because you’re getting older. The child you used to take care of, the child that made your day better just by seeing that beautiful face when you got home. Your husband, that helped you get through life easier. Your loved ones, that make or made your life worth living.

What is love?

Is love worth it?

You tell me.

By Alex Martinez on Unsplash

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About the Creator

Emilio (Sleepy) Salinas

I am a person with hopes and dreams, just like you... and we are all dealt a hand of cards when we start this life. Remember... not everyone knows how to play that game... so learn how to play the game and know what your hand is worth.

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