Do You Have a Complicated Relationship?

Serena, 28, is debating whether or not to divorce after a five-year marriage. She has no idea what the response is.

Serena and Jonny have a wonderful relationship. They treat each other with respect and compassion. Many of their interests are similar. So, why is Serena so torn between staying and leaving?

Serena is lonely with Jonny, which is the issue. They are excellent friends, but they do not have a strong emotional bond.

Jonny has no desire to express any of his emotions with Serena, nor does he want to comprehend her sentiments. Serena desires a deeper emotional connection, while he is willing to maintain things on the surface.

Serena has chosen to pursue marital therapy, and Jonny has consented because their marriage has many positive aspects.

Whether or whether they seek counseling, the only thing that can preserve their marriage is for Jonny and Serena to shift their focus from protecting themselves from suffering to learning about what is loving to oneself and to each other.

Jonny's goal has always been to shield himself from suffering rather than to learn to love himself and others. He's accomplished this by suppressing his emotions with weed and employment.

The fate of Jonny's counseling will be determined by his decision to continue to shelter himself from suffering or to begin to open up to benefiting from his emotions.

Serena has also worked with the goal of avoiding discomfort. She has been a nice wife, ignoring her own sentiments in order to comply with Jonny's wishes. But, at some time, she turned her focus to learning about self-love, and she now recognizes she can't be in an emotionally distant marriage.

Psychological separation, absence of love, sexual problems, regular bickering, emotional abuse (if there is physical violence, you must find a means to leave), being used or financially may be concerned in your marriage. Control and resistance may exist in relation to a variety of topics.

However, the root of the problem is a lack of honest and loving interaction. So honest conversation can only happen when both individuals are serious about learning about their emotions, anxieties, constraining attitudes, and the emotionally distant conduct that results from them.

The partnership will not mend if one or both partners are unwilling to learn about themself and with each other.

If you're considering ending your engagement, consider your personal intentions initially.

Are you willing to learn more about your emotions, views, and actions?

Or are you dedicated to using anger, isolation, rejection, or caring for children to protect yourself from pain?

Do you use beverages and hobbies to escape your feelings, or are you using a method like the Inner Joining process that we taught to learn from your experiences and explore yourself?

First and foremost, you must address your inner objective. Re-evaluate your relationship once you've been open to learning for a few months and truly performing your inner work.

Is there anything different now? Is your spouse more or less receptive to your presence? Do you converse more and argue less, or are you retreating less and conversing more?

Whether things aren't improving or are becoming worsen, it's important to ask your spouse if he or she is inclined to assist you to recover through therapy, conferences, and spending time altogether.

If your spouse refuses to go on a teaching trip with you, it's evident that you won't be capable of transforming your love. You have two options at this point: totally embrace it or walk away. Until both of you are willing to learn, your relationship will not develop into the one you desire.

The engagement will not mend if one or both parties continue to protect one other. However, most couples may be saved if both partners are serious about learning how to love themselves and one other.