Do You Celebrate Your Birthday?

It was my birthday yesterday, and as always, I have this lump in my throat that I made another year. Me — I’m still here. I’m alive in this world and continue giving what I can to those who need me.

This year, I’m celebrating a BIG birthday, entering a new decade of possibilities.

Birthdays often come with a plethora of happy emotions. Another year has gone and you might reflect on what’s been while looking forward.

Birthdays make you question yourself about your situation in life.

Are you happy?

Do you have everything you need?

What is your future like?

Is your career going as expected, or are you still chasing that promotion / job?

Do you have your happily ever after?

Most people love celebrating birthdays because it brings us joy. We are happy to celebrate another year on this earth, especially if we have had big successes during the year.

Giving presents to someone and see their smiles feels good, right?

Most people would agree that it feels wonderful to be celebrated and receive presents. The feeling of being the center of attention for one day of the year feels great.

Does everyone feel happy about celebrating birthdays?

Children — especially younger children, get almost giddy with excitement when it’s their birthdays. They can be bursting to tell you every tiny detail of their day.

I still remember a kid from my class many years ago, who gave me an adorable description of his birthday cake, which was shaped like a Stegosaurus. (He loved Dinosaurs)

His enthusiasm stuck with me, and I now experience it with my own kids.

I used to see birthday excitement in elementary school kids every week and I still see it in high schoolers. Having a birthday as a kid is the most awesome feeling in the world.

Of course it is.

It should be because life is fantastic when you are starting out.

Young adults love birthdays because they give them an excuse to party. Let’s be honest we all partied in college, right?

For other people, birthdays can feel almost painful.

What happens after college when we start work and have our own families? Birthdays can be forgotten when you work long hours and so do most of your friends.

Your priorities shift to other things.

Your focus is outward to make it in this life.

The older we get, the less enthusiastic we become to celebrate our own birthdays. We’ve been there and done it for years.

What’s another birthday when you have deadlines to meet? The bar exam to pass, or a presentation to give to a global zoom call.

The stress is real for those who are “worker bees.” We must put food on the table, pay the bills and be responsible adults.

We might not feel like celebrating ourselves if we are alone. Some people turn their loneliness to a bottle of whiskey. Others don’t want to remember and hide away from their demons.

When you retire and get some time back, you start to feel more at ease with life and about celebrating those big landmark birthdays. Turning 70 and 80. We usually celebrate those milestones.

Does this happen in your family?

The ugly truth

I never had a birthday party as a kid. Nobody knew when my birthday was, and for a child that can feel crushing, but you live with it. You learn to put on a mask and pretend that it’s okay to be forgotten. That everybody else deserves to be celebrated and get presents, apart from you. You learn to celebrate other people’s birthdays and successes as you battle your own survival.

I was that child and my so-called father told me I would never survive beyond twenty.

His words haunted me for years as I was thinking of the day that would come when I wouldn’t see another sunrise.

Then my twentieth birthday arrived, and a weight lifted. I beat the odds, and I survived, but he was still out there.

Looking for me. Wondering where I escaped to.

Living with a fear of being killed does something to a person.

It changes you.

I’ve lived with that fear all my life — until this birthday.

My so-called father died this year, and he can’t hurt me or my kids anymore. For the first time, my birthday is one that I can celebrate without fearing for my life.

I am safe.

I celebrated my birthday with real happiness yesterday and I learned something.

Life is precious and it’s worth celebrating.

No more hiding.

Now I can shine.

I am free.

Life as it should be.

I make certain that my kids have things that I didn’t have when I grew up. I’m not just talking about the basics of food and clothes but the experiences that I never had as an abused child.

Celebrating everybody’s birthday is important to me — young and old.

It puts value on everyone because I believe every person matters.

Celebrating everyone’s birthdays, show my children that we are all important. Everyone gets to have “their special day” during the year.

My kids choose their own birthday party and plan it. I allow them to choose who’s invited and help them write the invitations. The adults get a family & friends gathering in the yard with food and drinks.

The older I get, the more important it is to celebrate our birthdays. Everyone is special and should have one day of the year to feel it.

A day to feel treasured for having lived another year.

It’s always great when you can celebrate your actual birthday on a weekend. I was lucky this year because my birthday fell on a Saturday.

Yesterday, I got to spend it with my friends and family.

How do you celebrate your birthday and with who?

What do birthdays mean to you?

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

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For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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