Do Open Marriages Work

Recently someone posted on Medium that after five or six years of marriage the couple found they were no longer happy, that something was missing in their relationship. They talked it over and they came to the conclusion that what was missing … was other people. More specifically, they wanted to sleep with other people, lots of other people. So they decided on an open marriage. The woman further stated that they always practiced safe sex.

My reaction was … that’s the biggest bunch of baloney I’ve ever read and a lot of readers agreed with me because my comment received numerous claps. In this story, I would like the go a little deeper into my objections.

First of all, there is no such thing as safe sex. Wearing a condom does not guarantee that a woman won’t get pregnant or contract a sexually transmitted disease. Wearing a condom helps but is not 100% safe.

As for sleeping with other people, my initial reaction was … if you’re not happy with your partner, if he can’t sexually satisfy you, why not divorce him? Once divorced you can sleep around as much as you like. Why stay married?

There are of course a number of reasons why people stay together (other than kids).

Some people are lonely and marry for companionship. They have someone around the house to talk to, to go the movies or theater with, or to visit restaurants with. Hardly anyone likes being all alone.

Other people stay together for financial reasons. The couple might live in a nice house, a property they couldn’t afford on a single salary. One partner might make enough money for the other to stay at home. If suddenly single that stay-at-home person might have to find a job and actually work for a living.

As for the sexual side of an open marriage … what sane person allows a partner to sleep around? If they love each other, jealousy comes into the picture. If there is no jealousy, there is no love, they just don’t care.

Plenty of men and women get upset when their partner glances at another man/woman, the mere thought that their partner would kiss another person or be touched by another person sends them into a rage. This is precisely why people marry, to have a monogamous relationship.

I wonder if the writer of the aforementioned article communicates with her bedpartners just how many men she slept with. Is it 50? 80? Over 100? With this knowledge, who would want to have sex with someone like that? Would you? I can imagine that plenty of men would pass or even state that they wouldn’t touch her with a ten feet pole.

If the woman in question likes sex that much, I dare say is she is addicted to it. So why not turn professional? She could be a very successful hooker or call girl and earn a heap of money in the process. While street hookers might work for a couple of dollars, call girls earn more in one night than the working class in a month. Some earn even more.

Take Xaviera Hollander for instance. She was addicted to sex and flitted from one man to another until one of them suggested she become a hooker. Xaviera was initially insulted but later on gave it some thought and came to the conclusion that this wasn’t a bad idea. She became a selective prostitute, and in due time opened up her own bordello. She, or a ghostwriter, recorded her life experiences in the book ‘The Happy Hooker’.

While there undoubtedly some that will disagree with me, I dare say that the majority of people will support my opinion. An open marriage is not normal, in a marriage people are supposed to be faithful to each other. When they promised to ‘forsake all others’ what do these people do when they take their marriage vows? Do they cross their fingers, do they think ‘yeah yeah yeah, whatever’, or do they think … I’ll stay faithful until something better comes along.