Divorce Page Turners!

Anthea Turner published a book about surviving divorce and has been under scrutiny because of the interviews on the back of it. Back in 2014 I also published a book titled “The Divorce Toolbox- How to survive the courts, CAFCASS and Social Services while leading a normal life”. Two books about divorce written from the points of view of a celebrity and a non-celebrity. This clearly shows that regardless of someone’s status, whether they are a celebrity or not, divorce is a stressful process which comes with judgements and scrutiny.

Celebrities have all the luxuries of therapists and money to check into a retreat to deal with a divorce. This does not prevent the emotional aspect of the divorce from being stressful. From looking at my book and Anthea Turner's, we have dealt with similar issues from different perspectives, for example how divorce is like a grieving process. Both our books have also given similar advice on taking the support of family and friends. My book also looks at proceedings where children are involved and finances. Looking at the divorce proceedings of Madonna and Guy Richie shows that celebrities are not immune to messy custody battles. Financial battles can also get messy with celebrities, for example, Sir Paul Mccartney and Heather Mills being one of many.

On the back of Anthea Turner's book, she gave some interviews saying she still has feelings for her ex-husband, something she has been criticised for. When the divorce happened many people said it was karma as this marriage happened as a result of adultery. With regards to that nobody knows the full circumstances, although celebrities have to put on a public facade, they are human and nobody knows what happens behind the scenes.

The argument about karma is one that could apply to all of us. If we did not fall in love in the first place we may not get married and if we do not get married maybe there would be no divorce. Even in situations of arranged marriages that end in divorce, the blame culture could go back as far as ancestors. If the parents did not make their children get married they would not divorce. In this situation, hindsight is wonderful as one could argue that, as many people do, the child could have refused to marry someone of their parent's choice. Maybe the parents came from a poverty stricken background and getting their children married off was the only way of not repeating the circle of poverty.

Going back to Anthea Turner, she fell in love with someone and married him, love is one of the basic human needs. All of us are drawn to love, JK Rowling even said in her earlier interviews “you can be the most intelligent person in the world and still have no control of your hormones.”

Whether it is an arranged marriage, a love one or someone choosing to marry for financial security, society needs to move away from the blame culture. Most marriages are done with good intentions. With the austerity of measures where people are working and not seeing financial return it can be understandable to want to marry for money to get financial security. Parents worry when they pass on their children will be alone and want them to have financial security, which is a good intention. If these people then divorce, whether it is Anthea Turner or anyone else, they should not be judged so harshly. It takes strength to leave a marriage regardless of who does it. If someone marries for financial security then they divorce, it is a brave risk to their financial security. Nobody appreciates what a difficult situation someone can be in. Anthea Turner even forgave her ex husband's infidelity and tried to make the marriage work, showing her commitment to the marriage. It is rare to find someone with divorce factored into their thinking if they marry and it does not work. Divorce is a situation most people want to avoid. As it is becoming so common it could be the reason why people air on caution when marrying in the first place.

The fact that books are being written on divorce shows just how common it is. Looking at my book and Anthea Turner's shows that situations are more complex than people let on, so people should not judge without knowing the circumstances or at least have some idea of what it is like.