Discussing Relationship Boundaries

Whether the relationship just started or has been going on for a while, when it comes to dating. A lot of team effort is required to make it work. Still, one of the most important things you should do is setting boundaries for yourself, and don't be afraid to make them known when you feel those boundaries are crossed.

Don't only set limits for physical advances. While limitations regarding physical interactions are crucial in a relationship, consider things like being disrespected, talking about personal matters, and how much time you spend together. Commitment and quality time are necessary to make a relationship work.

It takes more than that to make a relationship last. First, you need to know what you are willing and unwilling to accept; it's best if the both of you sit down to talk because the discussion isn't just about your needs.

After all, chances are you both have certain habits that bug one another. Of course, that doesn't mean knit-pick everything about the relationship or try pushing your partner to change. After all, relationships don't really play out the way Disney depicts. No human being is flawless, so when I say discuss boundaries with your partner, I'm talking about things that pose a legitimate issue you can't live with.

You can't wholly change a person into a version more appealing to you apart from the fact that you can't force the relationship to work. Expecting someone to change qualities they've had their whole life is unrealistic if your partner didn't decide on their own to change. You are allowed to make your own lines in the sand.

A relationship is not one person being subservient to the other it's about treating one another equally. If you are experiencing complications in the relationship, address the issue with your partner whenever the time is right.

Try approaching the issues lightly, so neither of you feels attacked or unfairly blamed. Sometimes you can become so focused on getting your point across that you don't think about how accusatory your words come across to your partner.

Suppose your partner respects you as their equal. In that case, respecting your boundaries should come naturally. But if your limits continue to be ignored or crossed after talking about it, then it might be better for both to go their separate ways. Below I've listed a few tips to better approach the topic along with typical gas-lighting phrases to beware.

Tips On Setting Boundaries:

1. Use I statements when talking about boundaries.

2. Clearly outline what you won't tolerate.

3. Follow through with the limits you set.

It's OK if you decide to voice a few boundaries at the beginning of the relationship. You'll likely discover other things you aren't OK with as the relationship continues. In a situation where you feel disrespected, It's best to discuss it as soon as possible. If you are unsure how to approach the topic, you could try starting with, for example:

1. I didn't want to bring it up in front of everyone, but the comment you made to your friends about me made me uncomfortable. Or

2. It's sweet that you care about my well-being, but it's overwhelming when you call me multiple times throughout the day.

This is the perfect time to address the other topic of Gaslighting. I'm sure plenty of you believe you'd never let someone do this to you. I didn't think I'd stay with someone like that, but I stayed for 4 years. Gaslighting is another form of mental abuse, and some people like my ex have become gas-lighting experts. Trust me, it can happen to anyone. That's why I wanted to list some common gas-lighting phrases. For Example:

1. You're just insecure

2. Stop exaggerating the situation.

3. You can't take a joke, obviously.

4. Our problems are because of you, not me.

Like I said earlier. If your partner truly respects you, then respecting your boundaries shouldn't be an issue. Communication is the main ingredient for a healthy relationship. If you feel hesitant or scared to talk about your feelings with your partner, something is wrong. I hope this advice helped whoever needed it. That's all for now. Goodbye!