I don't know exactly what it is I'm feeling right now. It's like I feel safe and calm for the first time in my whole life. Like I'm finally free from all the bonds that have been placed on me over the years, but at the same time I'm so scared of losing you. The one person in my life that makes me feel that all is right with the world. I just am so terrified that I am far more attached to you than any girl in her right mind should be. The last time I cared like this for someone so deeply like this it ended up with them out of my reach in minutes and me in a puddle on the floor. What if I lose you too? What will I do then? Or maybe, just maybe I finally break out of my shell and tell you just how fully and deeply I care for you. Would it scare you off, or would you finally understand and see me in a new light? You might even feel the same way too. I can only imagine my delight at the prospect of not having to keep a single thing from you from this day onward. If only I had the courage to find my voice and wrap my tongue around the words to ask you over. Oh God, why must I be so shy? Did this happen to torture me, or perhaps is it because all my life others have tortured me into losing my voice? My parents, my teachers, those who I thought were friends, and even people who's only intention was to bash me into the ground so that I may never dream of rising up from the flowers again. Those people forget that some of us refuse to give up and they want to live their life loud enough for everyone to hear regardless of the hurt. You know that I will never stop my song and that no matter how many people tell me to disappear I know that, at least for this moment (and hopefully for many more moments after) I have you by my side.Even though somebody has decided that once again their negative opinion of me needs to be broadcasted across the heavens, little do they know that the clouds are my domain. I claim the clouds to dream on and the fields of flowers. I claim my happy place with the mighty oak tree, the lovely swing, long prarie skirts, and you. You with me on the swing pushing me higher towards the clouds and dreams. Always ready to catch me if I should tumble from the sky. So even though you'll never read this or if you do you will never be fully certain it's you I'm speaking of, I thank you. I thank you for everything, and I hope that one day all of the feelings I hide from you will come tumbling out. No matter how painful the outcome may be.