Dear OS

Lol-

By Snarky LisaPublished 3 months ago • 3 min read

I get it, Operating System. You want me to update to your latest and shiniest version — the one the company that owns you is absolutely raving about on their website and Twitter and whatnot. At least half your users have already given in, whereas others have just given up on you and moved onto other devices that don’t belong to your company. Yet, somehow, I’m still here.

I can’t bring myself to let you go. I mean, you’ve been invaluable to my daily life. You let me search material up, connect with people, and entertain myself. I would be lying to say I don’t appreciate you at all despite your obvious, obvious flaws.

At the same time, though…God, when you’re iffy, you’re really dubious. Your website loading can take forever when I first turn you on after a while, your apps can take an eternity to download, and your ability to send information to other people outside of Internet-assisted technologies is….questionable, to say the least.

I still remember the last time I updated you. It was a mild day — although I can’t recall the exact season for the life of me. I had been holding back on updating you for a while, as despite your corporation’s fierce insistence otherwise, I had heard very mixed reviews on the update they made that year.

But the company pushed. It nudged and hit and threw out constant, constant reminders to update you every. Single. Day.

For every day I refused to bend to your corporate owners, the web pages I typically scrolled slowed down more and more. Then, my apps also slowed down. Then…it became impossible to use said apps because they locked updates to your latest version, and I had to update you to be able to use them again.

So I did. I updated you…and everything was back to normal again for some time — at least, for a given value of normal anyway. I hated your new interface, I loathed how difficult closing many applications ended up becoming, even though I was finally able to open them again. On top of all of that, I did not like how your icons were displayed. But hey, you were back again…sort of.

I guess it’s time for the cycle to repeat again. Yet again, there is a new update for you from a desperately greedy corporation that’s claiming innovation. Yet again, it’s getting mixed reviews from the users who are actually willing to update. And yet again, you’re being forced to bug me all the time to update to your allegedly newest and coolest version.

For now, I’m holding onto current you as much as I can. I’ve heard that your latest version — even compared to previous upgrades — is very divisive in a way previous editions have not been. Apparently, you will either really love it — or loathe its tacky UI to the core of your bones.

Sometimes, I wonder if maybe — just maybe — it’s worth it to take the risk. Perhaps, for once, your latest update could be an improvement instead of part of an inevitable series of detriments which will eventually force me to get a new device altogether. Maybe I could bring myself to like it, just like I’ve brought myself to tolerate your previous updates in the past.

But at the same time…there’s no rush. As is, I like your current quality enough. Sure, you’re not the same as you were when I first found you. But you still have a similar overall charm beneath your current surface aesthetic.

So until your owners naturally force me to update you again, I’ll leave you be.