Dear Future Husband

I don’t believe we’ve ever met, but I know when we do sparks will fly and birds will sing.

I believe this because a part of me is a hopeless romantic... But I don’t believe because a part of me is the biggest jokester in the world and I kinda wanna throw up thinking about spending the rest of my life with someone one day.

I don’t know where you grew up, or if you have any siblings, but one day I'll hear all about it.

See, as of now, I’m only 21 years old, and I’m writing a letter to someone I’m not even sure I’m ever going to meet. I'm not sure if I’m writing this because I have to, or because I’m genuinely hopeful that one day I'll find myself a guy who is actually going to put up with my corny jokes and stupid pickup lines (or to pretend to, at least).

You’ll need to know a couple of things about me. My favourite colour is blue, and I'll pretend to like pink even when I don’t. I always chew gum, and if I don’t have a coffee by 1 PM, odds are you will find me passed out in my bed, or a walking zombie at school. I try to work out everyday, even though most days I have to force myself. I'll try to eat healthy, but realistically, I’m pretending my salad is a pizza. And if you ever had the honour to see any of my Snapchats, you’d know I'd die for a good Snapchat story. I post some pretty scandalous photos, not for attention but because I’m too dumb to realize that it's scandalous. I also don’t get embarrassed; I laugh at stupid things, especially my own jokes, and stay up stupid late just to watch funny vines on the internet… and I'll always go out of my way just to make sure you’re happy.

Another thing you need to understand is I’m a little bruised. I don’t want you to feel bad for me and I don’t want you to be easy on me. But I’ve been broken, and you need to understand that. I've been picked up and dropped and left on my own. But I’m OK, and always will be. I like spending time with myself, and I've spent enough time alone that I know who I am and what I want out of life. I'm always going to strive to be the best possible person, not only for myself but for you as well.

I like chase and hate when things come easy to me, but general respect is all I ask for. I will never lie to you, and tell you everything you want to know. I want you to tell me when I’m out of hand, and need to give my head a shake. Don’t be rude, but be realistic; I'm sure you’ve been through a lot and I’m excited to learn about you: What makes you laugh, what makes you smile, what pushes your buttons, and what your little weird hobbies are. I want to learn how to cook your favourite meal and cook it for you until you get sick of it. I want to learn where you came from, and what makes you… you.

You’re going to have to understand that I don’t need you, but I sure as hell want you. You’re going to realize that I’ve spent enough long nights alone by myself, tossing and turning and wondering what the future will hold, thinking about the stories about my childhood I’m going to tell you and the biggest secrets I’ve ever endeavoured.

Once you come into my life, I'll never give up on you. I'll love you with the same passion as when we first met, and not a day will go by when you question if you mean something to me.

Because when I do meet you one day, I'll challenge you, chase you, and make sure you know just how wonderful you actually are.

I haven’t met you yet, but when I do, you’re sure in for a ride.

Good luck <3,

—Me, myself, & I (Brittany R. Farquhar)