Day One of Finding Peace With Bipolar 2 Disorder

So I’ve been diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder very recently and while it’s explained many different things about why I do and say much of the things I do and explains the mood swings I have, it has also been difficult because now I’m in the stage where I now have to learn how to manage what I’m dealing with here. My experience isn’t everyone else’s experience, let me say this upfront. What works for me won’t work for everyone else. Some people needs meds, others choose not to go that path. What I say here is not to tell people how they should go about their treatment for their mental health, but simply to share my experience and maybe help others who might be dealing with the same things I’m experiencing.

Do I take medications to deal with my mental illness? Yes I do. At the moment I take a mood stabilizer and an anti-anxiety medication. The perfect combination of medications still hasn’t been completely put together for me but it’s something I’m still working on with my personal health care provider. I will say, what I am currently taking has helped a great deal, but I must remind everyone that this is why doctors “practice medicine” rather than “know medicine”, much of the time they are figuring things out as they go as well. Doesn’t make doctors bad people or unintelligent, it just means they’re human and are learning something as well, which will happen when you’re working with different people with different body chemistry.

What else do I do to bring my mind some peace? I do a lot of different things, which I will admit makes it difficult to explain to people in a timely matter that will make sense to other people. I write constantly for one. Whether it’s my own personal journaling, I work on the books I’m planning to self-publish, I also have started walking again. I’ve started walking for thirty minutes at a time three times a day. This isn’t so much to deal with my mental illness (although it does help) but to honestly help get me back into shape. One of the things about depression that is true for many is not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to eat or over emotional eating, everything to try and not dealing with what they’re feeling. For some, this can lead to weight gain. For me, this has included a massive weight gain that I am now working to fix the best I know how. So this has resulted in walking and just making myself a little more aware of my calorie intake, not to make myself crazy with it, but just to become a healthier version of myself. That is another thing that I think for many is true, that feeling physically healthy can help one feel mentally healthy as well. It takes time. For me I know it will take me roughly a year to get down to a healthier weight that also happens to be an ideal weight for me. But there’s nothing wrong with that.

Does meditation help? For me personally it does. On a good day when it isn’t jam packed with things I need to get accomplished I can get meditate for ten minutes three times a day. Sometimes it’s only once, but I really do my best to squeeze some meditation into my day. There’s just something about that brings a stillness to my mind body and soul. I’m not going to sugarcoat it, it’s hard. Meditation can be very hard for many people. You’re stretching the muscle that is your mind just like you would the muscles in your arms or your legs, so it takes a lot of practice. For me, this has been an on and off practice for me over the last ten years since meditation was introduced to me by one of my former psychology teachers. Having the stillness of the mind is a beautiful thing to have every once in a while, and I have been striving to have that stillness more and more since finding out I have Bipolar 2 Disorder. My brain never stops. And I am not exaggerating. My brain never stops turning things over and over and over again in my mind until I make myself tired with worrying about the same things that I might have been worried about the day before. Which is why if you’re someone who has a brain like mine, it’s a good idea to meditate, or even meditate while walking. Look it up on Head Space, it’s not as scary or as odd as it sounds. It’s not for everyone, I will admit that and I will admit that now. You might be sitting there and waiting for that relaxed feeling of stillness to come but it doesn’t. And if that’s the case and you don’t feel that drive to work on it, then don’t, move onto something else. I can only tell you this as a recommendation.

What can you do if these things don’t work? Whatever you want, honestly whatever you want. Of course I personally wouldn’t recommend drinking or using drugs if you have addiction issues like I have had over the years, but if you can handle that go for it, just be responsible. Do whatever you know will make you happy. Do what you know will bring you peace, even if it means your family looks at your funny or rolls their eyes. Do what you know will make you happy even if your family doesn’t like it. Don’t be stupid, but do what you love and do what brings you peace, no matter what anyone says.