Dating Men Over 40

I started working on the "over 40 dating" series after I turned 40 and thought that I was going to find my perfect match by using online dating sites. I learned very quickly that men today have a crapload of "baggage" and drama just like anyone else. Yes ladies, you are not alone! Do not ever let a man make you feel like crap because you have kids at home, a psycho ex lingering about, or a few bad habits that you may not want to admit on the first date. Men like to use the phrase to describe the women with real life problems as having too much baggage. By age 45, I expect it now. If I meet someone that claims to not have any, I immediately assume that they are a psycho or in total denial of how thier life really is.

Now that we have established that everyone has problems, drama, baggage, etc., I am going to run down a list of some of the things you should consider before getting too attached to a new suitor or potential manfriend. I always feel stupid calling someone I am dating a "boyfriend" because at my age, I do not date "BOYS" and neither should you. I am going to help you spot "man baggage" a mile away. Online dating is the most popular way to meet people now so do not hesitate to ask a potential suitor questions and is something does not feel right, MOVE ON!

Here is a TOP TEN I put together to help my fellow ladies avoid Mr. Wrong.

1. They have kids by more than one person. Ok, yes that may seem harsh to red flag someone with children. But multiple kids, means multiple "baby mamas" and quite a bit of child support. If you are looking for someone t0 have your own children with, there is a big possibility that any more children with your new beau is completely off the table.

2. At least one EX they HATE. I try to avoid dwelling on previous relationships when I am dating someone new. I also do not like talking about my shitty ex-husband or shitty ex-boyfriends when I am trying to make a good impression on someone new. After all, they are Exes for a reason. A red flag would be me obsessively talking about them to a new boyfriend, bashing them, blaming any problems on them, and just dumping hateful feelings about that person to someone else. Save the venting for your friends or your therapist. I dated a person once that was going through a divorce and he "Hated" her. He would talk about her with such hatred in his voice that it could sometimes be scary. It was obvious he wasn't over her cheating on him and everything seemed to be a trigger. I found myself being his free life coach and had the ridiculous idea that I could actually change his thinking about women in general; which was a huge disaster and left me getting hurt.

3. Does not have a relationship with any of his family members. I don't know which is worse, a man that has a close relationship with his family and doesn't want you to meet them for some reason OR a man that has a family and doesn't want anything to do with them and won't tell you why. OR if he does tell you, it is super negative, there is a lot of conflict, and drama galore. If family is important to you, then this is going to be a challenge immediately. Someone who does not have the same family values as you do, puts you at risk of you becoming this guy's entire world. Sharing you with other people, could be a problem. It is definitely some emotional baggage that you do not need to take on unless you feel the same way about your family. If that is the case, than you and your new guy can start your own family and develop your own family traditions.

4. He has an arrest record.....an extensive arrest record. If you don't care about dating ex-cons than