Dating in your 20's in the 20's

Dating in your 20's in the 20's

I became single after a three year relationship when I was 21. Although it was my first heartbreak, leaving me more shattered than in tact, I was somewhat excited to experience dating as an adult.

Now that I'm 24, I dread the dating game. I'll open my "Hinge" app in boredom, almost a subconscious reflex, just to close it two seconds later. I mean, I never imagined being in my mid 20's, mid pandemic -PANDEMIC?!?!, trying to navigate the new love languages of 2021. But I also never imagined it being this difficult, tiresome, and defeating.

I must admit, my pick in men hasn't been the best. Do I regret any of my choices? No. They have armored me with the growth I needed to become who I am today. However, the difficulty of dating in 2021 goes further than picking what you think is the "wrong" person. It seems as though even the "good" men are no longer as "good" as they once were or even as "good" as they claim to be. Perhaps time has made the rules dating quite jaded.

My lack of faith in the male species has resulted in me putting "Leave your fuck boy tomfoolery at home please" on my dating profiles just to try to weed out some of the bad ones. You could even put " I DON'T WANT CASUAL " at the top of your bio - hell - even tattoo it on your forehead, yet it still does not ward off any evil. It seems as though our generation and the generation before (yes I'm talking to you men in your 30's) have forgotten the respect that one must employ when partaking in actual DATING.

A man will cringe at the label "Fuck boy" but not want to label you as their "girlfriend", or even just their "date". Not wanting something serious, and recognizing that you are not ready for something serious, is commendable. The problem lays in the laps of the boys that want to have their cake and eat it too. They want you to be their date on a night out, spend the night cuddled next to them in bed, share lazy breakfasts on a Sunday morning, and endless months of affection, just to be too scared to put a label on it. News flash: A label is just a label. If you are completing all the tasks of a managerial position at work, why sell yourself short as a receptionist? Is it in hopes that if you are just a little too lazy some days to complete the harder tasks you won't be held accountable? If you decide the temptation of another girl is too strong one night, or the invitation as a plus one to a wedding is too much for you, or maybe you just don't feel like buying roses on valentines day, is this your way out? "Well I'm not your boyfriend! I can do what I want!" Well, that's all fine and dandy sir, but my feelings are still hurt.

Unfortunately, the label doesn't mean so much to your partner anymore. We have evolved to not trust the words from a significant other, but mostly trust their actions. Words only go so far and are very easy to share but actions are the real sign of your intentions. If you decide to treat someone as your girlfriend or your boyfriend, the strings are still attached. There will be some kind of a break up. Someone will get hurt. You will just find yourselves more confused and vulnerable in the end than if you had just defined the relationship like they used to do in the good 'ol days.

We drew now lines, but crossed them all.

Sincerely,

The romantics of this ages roaring 20's