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Dating a Father with Kids!

by Jermaine Dobbins 2 months ago in dating
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What women don't expect!

His Children are the center of His Life

I received a call from a friend and she asked, "Jermaine, how is it dating with children, and when is the time "right" for her to meet your children?" We shared some thoughts as she wanted to research about a current situation a friend of hers is currently experiencing and I thought sharing some general information could help. Before I get started, do women listen to men? disregard that question! I think I know the answer and the conditions that are attached with the task of listening to a man. One could only imagine the results....

Does it hurt to listen?

Nonetheless, there's good knowledge in some of the things we say, even if its as simple as a daytime nursery rhyme. Here are some things you might want to consider when dating a man who is active with his children. First, let me define "active", meaning some involvement, communication and physical touch and contact at least 15 to 20 times within a month's period. Sorry guys, paying child support doesn't give you freedom to claim activity. Let me break down three important factors that you should know and this is not up for debate. This may come too hard to take in, but here we go!

This is the most major one and please never forget this! You as a woman will always come after their needs. If you cannot understand this, you will never meet his children! I shared my humble opinion with my friend that there is never a right "time" for her to meet the children, but she can do things that will delay the process, speed up the process, or completely destroy the process and never get to meet the children. As much as we love to see our children happy for us, we don't want to see our children sad for us again like they were when mommy and daddy broke up. Now I can only speak on my experience, but I can guess my events are quite similar to many other kids who witnessed a divorce right before their eyes. So creating a revolving door of women is the last thing a father with children in his life wants. He wants you to be a part of the equation, but if you cannot understand his lovely attachments needs more attention than you; then you will not be a part of the plan for the future. This process is very sensitive and if you are not use to sharing attention, then dating a man that has his children in his life might not be a good move for you. Time will not be on your side.

There will be times when he cannot speak to you right away! No he is not having sex with the mother of his children (if he has any sense) and cease with the negative thoughts every time a man cannot answer the phone, or return a text. The hours of 3:30 to about 9:00 pm are very crucial to a father with children in school. Please understand this important factor because not understanding this presents the appearance of you as selfish, not family oriented and hard to get along with. Men with children date women to add happiness to their lives. He understands the dynamic that he cannot teach his daughter how to be a woman and he is looking for that in you. Trust me, if he thought that quality was in her mother, he would still be with her. Real talk! So most of us with daughters want you to be an example. I often think that I just want Madison to go hide in a freezer until this generation is dead and gone. Bring her back like in the movie Demolition Man and give her another shot 80 years from now. Maybe morals and values will be the trend when she returns. Please, I don't want to stray. Understand that his time has to be devoted into developing his offspring. He is not running the street with other women, not trying to get back with his ex; so be patient and know that he is putting in quality time with his children.

I had to leave this one for last and most important. Let me start by saying this factual statement. If you find a man who is involved in his children lives and the mother of those the children say something negative or out of line, please believe that she is lying 98% of the time and the other 2% is a twisted version of the truth. Yeah I said it! She lying and stop listening to her because chances are he not crying about her vain @$$ and she doesn't want to see him happy because its not about her anymore. I could go on and on and tell you about the stories I heard and even the things that were done to me by my ex as she communicated with my past potentials. Women, stop listening to the mother of the kids. The only information you need to receive from her is clothing sizes and medication. Don't believe near-nutta word she says about how that man is because everything you need to know is right there in eyes of those children. She got you up here believing this man killed half the people in China. You, never experienced anything half-way decent in life believing her and letting it all sink in. Stop the foolery! Asking her, "How did he do it? Lets go talk about it over brunch!" If you don't stop letting her burn your house down! Everything you need to find out about that man will come out in due time. Just quit rushing to get in bed with him. Take the time and everything you need to know will come to light, but you can't do that with a "date 'em all sis" mentality.

Now I'm not saying that all fathers are perfect, but the mother knew what she let go and now she doesn't want anyone to have him. Be smarter than this and understand you have a man that wants you to be a part of something special. It will not happen overnight, and its not all about you. When you meet his children, understand that you have reached a new level of love. I have not introduced a single woman to my children in all six years of dating after my divorce. Some came close, but I understood one important thing. I want to trust her with the close influence of my children and that duty should never be taken lightly, nor come second to a sexual desire. My kids mental health is far more important than 30 minutes in bed. Take time with these fathers because if they take time with you, they see something special in you and want to share you with there most trusted and close asset, their children.

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About the author

Jermaine Dobbins

Casual writer! Love to express in print! Tell people how you feel and love life to the fullest with no regrets. Try to say something good about a person when they can hear it, and not when they are gone! Love like no tomorrow.

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