Cut from a different cloth: A love triangle.

Cut from a different cloth: A love triangle

Based on a true story

Every night, I lay on this hard, wooden bed longing for the day that I can have Brandon all to myself. See, everything started off great. We used to do everything together. We started out in college back in 2004, down in Jefferson City, Tennessee. We were sitting in his room cutting out designs to put on T-shirts to sell at the party that he and his friends were throwing. The plan was for his crew to wear the shirts on campus for promo and charge $20 to whomever asked for a shirt. The day of their party it was a decent turn out but mostly everyone from his campus went 30 minutes up the road to the more popular University of Tennessee or “UT” for short. They even went. He left me behind, stating that I wasn't allowed in clubs. Although I’d liked to be by his side, I respected his boundaries and stayed home. When they returned later that night, I remember the uproar of excitement about how fun the strip at UT was. I heard about ten different voices talking about the cars, the women, the clubs...the atmosphere. It was electric. For many, this was their “coming out party” to coming out to parties. I’ve prepared and planned so many parties that it’s not that exciting to me anymore but the boys enjoyed themselves.

Brandon was never the type to sit around and wait for things to get done. He grew up a little faster than the rest of the guys so he was aware of the nightlife scene and sometimes acted as the big brother. That’s one of the things that I love about him. He always puts people before himself. The next day I heard him talking to his friends about starting a clothing line. I got excited because that’s one of my specialities, so we will probably spend a lot of time together. With a mind like his, it’s hard to keep him still so I’ll take what I can get. It wasn’t until a year later when he decided to start his clothing journey. He lost his brother Damien to a fight with cancer and his friend Jarrett passed away from a motorcycle accident. Brandon came from a pretty rough area in Pittsburgh, Pa. There weren’t a lot of college grads from his ‘hood so he was very proud that Jarrett was one of them, and that Jarrett looked up to him. He was equally damaged when he lost both of them within 2 months of each other. I sat there with him as he clawed himself up out of the abyss and pursued his dreams. The first piece of clothing that we started on was a black thermal shirt with multiple colors on it. Don’t judge us, it was 15yrs. ago. After we did the garment, for the first time, he looked at me and said I love you with the biggest smile on his face. I just melted.

He and I would sit in the room together and just talk about the trajectory of where his ideas can go if he stayed focused, determined, dedicated and disciplined. Sometimes he would pick me up and twirl me around but would quickly stop and say “whoa, that’s dangerous”. But it was fun to me. Within 3 years we were selling clothes online and opened up a clothing store in his hometown, Homestead, a small borough in the Pittsburgh metropolitan area. At this point, Brandon and I are inseparable. We cut the ribbon together for his new clothing store ‘Swaggerworld’ and the whole ‘hood came out. It wasn’t the best building but the location was great. Right on 8th avenue, adjacent to the waterfront. Seeing something in the neighborhood that was built by someone from the neighborhood is inspiring for those who don’t see that everyday. Although it was inspiring, the storefront started to have too many problems like holes in the roof, no gas meter and a bunch of other small problems. While sitting in the store one day, I noticed that he was contacting manufacturers about consumer electronics. I thought “is he closing the store?”. He was. His interest in clothes started to fade when his store started to literally fall apart in part with him knowing how much these brands really cost. He called it “seeing behind the curtain”. After you see behind the curtain the curiosity fades because you know what it takes to make it. He didn’t believe any of the manufactured brands were worth the money that he was making from selling other brands in his store. Some jeans were $250 and some jeans were $900 on sale for “6 somethin”. He almost felt like it was cheating. My Brandon is an honest guy so he felt that the only way he could be real with his consumers was to put his hands to the product before it hit the shelves. Prior to that, he would order denim from other distributors and that's that. Ready to be sold. That wasn’t gonna cut it anymore. He needed to create every piece that he sold to present a custom piece to each consumer. He started to dig more and more. I mean he had pictures and charts on the walls in his office. He actually ran out of room and would lay out plans on the floor as well. Pics of headphones, speakers, earbuds etc. He was determined. If i didn’t know my Brandon i would’ve thought he was going mad.

I started to wonder if there was a place for me going forward in his business and his life for that matter. Until this point, apparel was all that I knew and I was afraid of being cut out of the loop. My worst fears came. He closed the store and opened a headphone company. What do I know about headphones or electronics for that matter? I've slept in that hard bed for days in the dark. While he traveled to New York, Miami, D.C., and even China! China? How is it that I stayed by his side all of this time but when it’s time to travel the world I can't go? When asked he gives me this lame excuse about not being allowed on planes. So where can I go? I can’t go to the club. I can’t fly. It seems like he only wanted me to be a certain way but I wanted to “spread my arms out”. At this point, for the first time, I’ve contemplated if Brandon really loves me and what I can even do for him. That’s another thing. I’m always thinking about what I can do for him. How I can help grow HIS business, HIS, store, just for him to reap the benefits by himself! I’m thinking of cutting him out of my life but I don't know. Maybe it’ll get better. Maybe he’ll see my value and treat me the way I’m supposed to be treated. That’s what i would tell myself.

He thinks that I don’t know. But I know. I hear him talking about building these empires, combining his different businesses to make some collective or something. Unlike back in the “dorm room era”, I wasn’t around for any of these talks. These days I am reduced to busy work for him. Who does he think I am? Please, “askin’ me to scrape paint off of the table? Open up packages?”, who am I the janitor now? I design! Let me design. Why would someone who loves me subject me to such circumstances. He keeps me in the dark, sometimes brings a crowd of strangers around and acts like we are all supposed to get along. Can I create or am I a babysitter for your new toys? But I guess that’s in the past. He’ll come back around. I know it. Brandon knows that I’m all that he needs to get by, sometimes he just gets distracted by these extra cute little things that couldn’t carry my jockstrap if I wore one. He’s going to need me and I will be ready and willing. Stay ready so you don’t have to get ready right? Then it happens. I hear him talking about creating his own line with his own designs as part of “the collective”. Did I just hear design?! I Knew it, I knew it, I knew it! It’s only a matter of time before he comes in here and gives me the news. I mean it's a great idea. He's launching a comic book and they heat press the comic strips directly onto the garments. Some you can scan and it will take you directly to the website. Cool stuff right? That day came and went. When he started his “little project” you think he’d ask for my input? Nope. He has Mia now, some new lil’ thing that he has wrapped around his finger. She cuts out all of his designs that he presses. After all that we’ve been through. She won’t last though.

She didn’t last. That’s what happens when men find something disposable. They dispose of them! I’ve never liked Mia. She was always around my work station talking about stories of her and Brandon. Like I want to hear that. Bye. I’ve been around longer than all of these “tools”. That’s all that they are. Me. I’m a keeper even if he can’t see it. But I know he knows. He decided to take me to help produce his new line called ‘Hustl’. There’s no “E” in hustl because the hustl is never finished. Get it? Anyway I thought that was pretty dope. So here we are, Bonnie n Clyde back together again. Working, pumping out orders, I mean everything is great. He knows me so well. Whenever he touches men I just open up. I’ve missed this feeling. But all good things don’t last. I overheard him talking about his designs not being on point like they used to be. And yes, he blamed me! I was so hurt. Talking behind my back, judging my work. As if I'm not on point. His exact words were “she’s not as sharp as she used to be”. Can you believe it? Now I’m thinking that my days are numbered because Brandon doesn’t do mediocre. And if i can’t cut it, he will find someone who will.

Only 2 days pass before he starts talking about making changes. Enter Elise. He comes home with this tall, perfectly smiled, high fashion dressed model named Elise. I mean she was sharp. I can’t even lie. There was so much plastic wrapped around her that I knew that she was the expensive type. I also knew that day that it was time for me to finally move on and leave this house. I mean who wants to put up with a guy bringing other women to the house? Who would put up with that?! I have for so long because I was afraid of the unknown. Now I'm in a slump. Brandon deals with her full time and I just sit and watch their relationship grow. What kind of torture and I putting myself through!! But guess what, Old Elise was trying to be too cool for school and cut Brandon accidentally. I’ve never done such an amateur thing. Now look at em. Can’t find any bandaids, toilet paper wrapped around his thumb , blood dripping everywhere and now the work is getting done. All because of “little miss sharp” over there. What does he really see in that anyway? She’s cold, hard to handle with no curves! I’m curvy and I fit his hands like a glove. Maybe he can’t handle my curves, who knows. But Elise only does what he tells her to. No skills. She does one thing well! Me, there’s actually some intricacies that make me irreplaceable. If he can’t tell just by looking at me then he doesn’t deserve me. I’ve had it. But how do I move on if I need him to be useful? Then the question remains. Do I need him to be useful? I mean all of this time I've watched and helped Brandon pursue and achieve many of his dreams and goals. Although I was useful, now I just feel used.

Cast

(“I’m curvy”)

(“Not allowed in the club”)

(“Not allowed on the plane”)

("Slept on that hard bed for days in the dark": The drawer)

(“Lil’ thing wrapped around his finger")

(“She was sharp, i can’t lie”)

(cut Brandon accidentally)

Fun challenge: Now that you've read the story, See how many metaphors you can find and whom do they apply to. Thanks for reading!

Written and conceptualized

by

Brandon Doswell